French auto makers Citroen and Renault have announced a partnership in the development of a new product line -
The nonflammable car.
The partnership is a first for the two car makers, who have more often competed against one another for market share in the France-dominant French-designed auto market.
Road tests thus far have been inconclusive:
Spokesmen for the consortium were optimistic, though: “This is a market-driven process,” insisted Citroen spokesman Yves Gautareunne, “and with our large staff of product testers, we are on the very cutting edge.”
Charmaine Touafault, his Renault counterpart agreed, adding, “Auto testing by fire is clearly an area where France has staked out a competitive advantage vis-a-vis Anglospheric capitalism, red as it is in tooth and claw. By ensuring that poor people are perpetually kept in soul-destroying hovels with no chance of self-improvement, we have demonstrated to the world that we don’t intend to give up this advantage.”
North American automobile manufacturers, already over-exposed in the large car and SUV market when gas prices rose dramatically this summer were non-commital, and all of them declined to comment for this clearly parodic blog post.
But the French car manufacturers are undissuaded: “We just think, our research shows, and as a partnership, we’re firmly committed to, the prospect that the market conditions are just right for, you know: A car that won’t burn.”
(H/T to Jonah, once again, for the idea)
Gee Lex your “report” reminds me off that Volkswagon commercial that wasn’t ready for primetime that went around a year or two back.
The one where the car was built so strong the detonation never left the vehicle w/suicide bomber at the wheel in front of a bistro.
Maybe Citreon/Renault would buy your ad concept?
B2
Very creative, Captain
I was just thinking that the rioters (excuse me: deconstruction specialists) may have handed the French economy the boost it was needing. Think of it, all that destroyed property has to be replaced, yes? And all those burned cars will be replaced, yes? So there will be many days of full employment for French factory workers. That money surely will trickle down to bistros and coffee houses…. Maybe even the French will work into their holiday next year? Naaaahhh