Well, sort of anyway. Semi-serious.
We’re coming to the end, folks – there’s only a few days left in the Valour-IT fund drive, and although we’ve done very well collectively, we’re still a bit short of goal and what’s worse is that the Army is ahead!
Now, Smash has offered up his beautiful wife for those who contribute and I can tell you that it would be a damn tempting offer if it weren’t for the facts that, 1) the Hobbit is 100% Brazillian, 2) I’m a sound sleeper, and 3) We have many sharp knives in the house.
Three words: John. Wayne. Bobbit.
Callsign: “Nub”
Effect: Men around the world shudder.
Anyway. Wife trading is right out.
So.
What I can offer is a deal you’re going to find very hard to refuse: As you may or may not know, the USS Ronald Reagan is homeported right here in sunny Sandy Eggo. And they have the coolest ball cap in the fleet. Not just because, you know, it’s got Ronald Fricken‘ Reagan’s name on it (which it does, and some of you I know are already swooning), but because it’s just plain cool. The Navy’s newest capital warship conjoined with the name of a real American hero. (editor’s note: Heterodoxy of opinion on this point will be ruthlessly supressed.)
See?
And that picture doesn’t even begin to do it justice. Get yours today!
You: But how, Lex?
Well, calm down and let me tell you, generous reader: Be one of the first 10 to donate $100 to Soldier’s Angels/Valour-IT and send me an email via the contact form claiming your donation. I’ll cross-check the donation receipt time and validate donor names with FbL against your email time-stamp and the first ten will get shipped a ball cap. A USS Ronald Reagan ballcap. Complete with scrambled eggs (that’s senior officer’s gold braid, for any landlubbers in the crowd) if you want ‘em. Or plain-billed, if you’d prefer to be seen as someone who actually works for a living.
Update: Drop a note in the comments box if you take me up as well, I’d hate to have folks oversubscribe and can’t easily get to my contact form email inbox while at work.
Just think what you could do with a USS Ronald Reagan ballcap! You could walk into any cocktail party in Manhattan or San Francisco and literally stun the other guests to speechless stupefaction! You would instantly own pride of place at any Young Republican’s meeting (not that, you know: I’m taking a political stand or anything).
You: But Lex, isn’t $100 rather a lot to pay for a ballcap? Even one so studly as a USS Ronald Reagan ballcap?
Well that depends, generous reader, duddn’t it? The value of a thing is precisely what the buyer is willing to pay. And now that we’ve got Adam Smith out of the way, and making the assumption that you’re in roughly the 30% tax bracket, the ballcap only costs you $70, once you take your deduction (I’m actually in shoal water here, from a legal standpoint – consult your tax advisor before taking any deduction with a quid pro quo attached.) And anyways, the ballcap itself cost me $15 before I ship it, so your effective cost (assuming tax advantages, caveat payor) is only $55. Which I’d admit is pretty pricey for a ballcap, unless of course the ballcap was a USS Ronald Reagan ballcap. Unless your donation helped the Navy regain its deserved position atop the donor roll.
And unless, being momentarily serious, you’d done a generous thing for folks who could really use the help – folks, let us remember, that have been wounded and maimed in the service of our country.
Besides: Who else do you know that has a hundred dollar ballcap?
(Oh, and uh… *ahem* If anyone felt like, em… *cough* helping me offset the ballcap purchase and shipping costs, throwing a fin at the tip jar on the sidebar there would be appreciated too.)
This is a great idea!! I’ve made my donation and can’t wait to receive it with the scrambled eggs. It is going to my son. He is going to love this!!
Thanks, seawitch! One down, nine to go. They will run out!
And I’ll still be hazing you after, so, you know: Do it, Navy.
Well Capt. Lex, I couldn’t make the 100 dollar donation needed, and will try to do more as funds become available to put it bluntly. I’m sure all the guys appreciate you doing this.
But what I will do right now is post this as a bulletin on myspace, I guarantee it will garner some attention there.
Posting this tonight.
BTW, my husband is more afraid of the spoons. I have told him I’d ‘cut his heart out with s spoon’. He’s made mention that if I notice spoons are missing in the house, something is up.
Skipper,
As you know, a ‘tight money’ situation for me would be very much appreciated at this time. I did make a contribution but far less than I would prefer to make.
Once I get off this lee shore and back underway, I will make a sizable contribution, regardless if a contest is on or not.
OK – two hats are spoken for now (a reader has requested anonymity). They are verra nice! Thanks for the help, Dan.
And thanks, Senior – I know you’ve done what you could, and probably more than you ought.
Spoons. Spoons? Ouch!
People, you better snap up these hats while you can! I’m jealous! I’d be all over this if my position didn’t make taking advantage of incentives rather unsavory.
Lex, it’s working now–mission accomplished!
Lex – are there still hats available? I’m leaving for vacation as of the 10th, and was hesitant yesterday to put in the bucks, but thinking it over….my mom’s partner would love that hat (he was a SeaBee…).
Please advise and thank you!
I’ll save you one, Kris! And thanks for the donation
Lex – you are DA BOMB! You ROCK cap’n! I made my donation – receipt ID#3354-7955-2694-7727, made at 11:55am EST on 11.09.2005. And I’ll do the tip jar thingy to cover your shipping costs. May not get to that before vacation, but I will be sure to when I return the week of Thanksgiving.
Thank you for being upfront on such a worthy cause. And my mom’s partner is going to go nuts when he learns how he got the hat….Once a Navy-man, always a Navy-man.
Please save one hat for me. Great site
You’ve got it Kevin! Five down, five to go!
I’m in for one if there are any left!
Great idea!
Gotcha Mark. One reserved, four to go. Email details on your donation. And thanks for your support!
[...] USS Ronald Reagan ball caps? [...]
Damn good move! God, I would love one of those hats, but now I just have to go throw more money on the Army side!
ME! ME! Pick ME!
Receipt #2622-2157-1520-4739
No eggs for me, please
hfs
Lex,
Hope you still have one of those four Reagan ball caps. Made a donation via PayPal, transaction ID 2J904057RW242743T.
Regards
If there are any hats left, I’ll have one, please. President Reagan is one of my heroes! Just made another donation and will e-mail the receipt when I get it.
You won’t tell Greyhawk I’ve been over here giving you money will you?
Is the hat available without the ’scrambled eggs’?
Being former enlisted, I wouoldn’t feel right about the eggs on my hat. Good cause, good blog.
OK, HFS, John G, Retread and Hildy – you can each get a hat. Nice job to those who’ve already donated, thanks. If you’ve only requested one on hold, please send your confirmation data via email or in the comments box.
Great job, Navy!
[...] But we’re obviously missing some crucial incentives here…I have no Ronald Reagan hats, and I doubt an autographed picture of me will get us anywhere. [...]
[...] Here Greyhawk expresses his discouragement at really neat stuff Neptunus Lex is giving out to those who donate to the Valour-IT Project in the name of Team Navy (who is now within less than $1000 of meeting their goal! Go Navy!). [...]