We’re doing our own Christmas dinner tonight, before heading east tomorrow. We’ll do a dinner there too, but it’ll be different than the usual family reunion and good cheer. Most of you know why.
I guess a part of me is still in the denial phase. If I don’t go home, if I don’t see, it won’t be true. But it is true, and there’s no more putting it off so I’m going home tomorrow, and then I guess we will see.
The year our parents died we did Christmas in Jamaica – there wasn’t anywhere we knew in Virginia that didn’t advertise their absence, like the seat cushion which retains the form of the last person to sit in it. We thought someplace else would be good, and to tell you the truth we made a brave show of it. But of course we brought our grief along with us, and there were those holes in the line and no one could stop looking at them. And looking away again, but always looking back.
After that we always went home, back to Virginia, there being no running away. After a few years the sadness at the empty places gave way to nostalgic recollections of happier places and times, the things they’d said, how proud we hoped they’d be of the people we’d become. We became philosophical – the clock runs out on everything in time, and no one gets out of here alive. We coped with their loss, like people do. Part of that was staying together, being a family, even if we were scattered to the winds. It was very important to Ann that we all get together every year, at Christmas. That was our gift to her, and her gift to us.
My dad died suddenly, and we thought that was bad because none of us were prepared. My mom took ill just after, I guess the equation was unbalanced. But she took longer, she lingered because although the world didn’t make sense anymore without him in it, a part of her was still a fighter, unsinkable Irish, the lass that wouldn’t give up and wouldn’t give in. It took months for her to go, and and the months took all of her dignity with them and when she left we were secretly relieved, because the person lying there on the bed was not who we remembered. And we thought that was bad too.
After that I think we all thought that we’d gotten a pass. Nothing bad would happen to us or around us for a while, nothing we couldn’t get over.
I guess maybe the pass has run out.
This was her last Christmas, with her replacement.
Don’t know if I’ll be able to post much from over there. Don’t much know if I’ll have the heart for it.
You have all been very kind, and we thank you.
Merry Christmas.
Have a safe journey sir. My thoughts and prayers follow you.
I suppose I should’ve checked for the latest news before I emailed you. I don’t have anything just say. Just…
*hugs*
Safe travels to you and yours. Remember the things that made you and Ann laugh and share those good times with your family. Sending hugs.
Tailwinds and fair seas, I bow in silence. A former Naval Aviator.
Have a safe journey. Keeping you and yours in my prayers.
You and the family stay safe and well CAPT Lex. Thoughts and prayers with you all and Ann.
Have a Merry Christmas as possible.
My best wishes to you and your family.
Try to maintain some peace. It will help numb the greif. Best wishes to all of you.
Lex – safe journey, Merry Christmas, and Peace…
Have a safe and as Merry a Christmas as possible.
Going back to the Old Dominion is a good thing Lex. Map o’Ire written all over your sis and her “willfull child”. Beautiful to see. Thanks.
B2
Cap’n Lex – Family isn’t everything – but it’s a very high percentage of it. Celebrate what you have while you have it and remember that those who are passing would not want you sad.
with that twinkle in her eye, she’ll be halfway to heaven ‘fore the devil notices her missing.. RIP Ann
she’ll be in my intentions
travel safe, hug everybody twice when you get there.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family sir. Best wishes.
It’s a sad part of the cycle, saying goodbye. My thoughts will be with you … Peace.
Cap’n, I lost my wife to cancer 2 years ago.Family made the grief tolerable.At the end of the day, they’re all we have.Cherish them these next weeks,and forever after.My prayers go with you.
Cap’n,
Words are so inadequate at times like this. Like everyone else who wrote before me, I pray the angels watch and guard over you all. May their wings cover and shield you from this benighted world as you deal with these difficult times.
I wish I had the words to soothe you, and was within arms reach to give you a real hug instead of just thoughts, prayers, and cyber-hugs. Unfortunately, that’s all I can offer you.
Just know that I’m thinking about you.. praying for you all.. and hoping that you are able to make the most of this season.
It’s not often we get a “last chance”, Lex. I know you’ll take full advantage of that opportunity. I’m just so sorry things have taken a turn for the worse for your sis.
I’m a little late here, but my thoughts are no less urgent for you and your family. There just aren’t words. My heart goes out to you and your family – quick or not, it’s just so hard to loose the ones we love.
No trite platitudes here, just deep understanding of a pain that is nameless.
Safe journey to you and your family.
Take care Lex. God speed and thoughts with you