This may meet or exceed the previous record for brevity. Just so you know.
Where to start?
There are at least 10 11-year old girls in the house right now, on consequence of there having been a girl scout meeting for the Kat’s gang, or claque, or junta, or whatever they call themselves, augmented just at supper time by another set of 11-year olds, who came to house for an entirely separate social reason. You would not credit the noise they can make, gentle reader, when you mix them together, nor the frequency at which they can make it.
I give. OK?
Apparently not, since the assault continues.
Their ostensible leadership is downstairs at the better table, sipping white wine (well, they call it sipping) and discussing the ins and outs of school district changes. Which is exactly as interesting as maybe it sounds. To me.
But wait, there’s more: Because the previous stimulus is guaranteed to push your humble scribe right to the very brink of madness, but may, or may not hurl him bodily down into the abyss itself, the Biscuit just made a regal entry with her own retinue of ne’er-do-wells, surfers, slackers and race-you-to-the-bottoms. These come in various flavors and genders and I?
I am casting about for a stout rope and narrowing a critical eye upon the banister atop the stairs. Because it might just hold. It might.
But on the other hand, a broken leg and a rope burn would be so very hard to explain.
You cannot be as tired about hearing me complain about the Sandy Eggo traffic patterns as I am living them: Here, on the 5, during the morning commute, with safety distances between vehicles that come with reaction times that would reduce a Cray supercomputer to tears, other drivers feel no compunction about pulling into the space between two cars (moving at 80 mph or better, mind) that I would probably pass up when looking for a place to parallel park.
Freaks.
Note to those who stop in at other people’s blogs and feel compelled to teach what they expect – demand! -to be an adoring audience, eager to savor the sweet taste of every pearl of wisdom that drips from their honeyed lips: That the current administration has done nothing but shred the Constitution since they got to office, that the war in Iraq was a terrible, costly mistake which you had been against right from the get go, in the run up to which the President undoubtedly LIED and anyway where are the WMD’s? Huh? – You may be surprised to find that we’ve heard those arguments before. That’s right. No epiphany, no revelation.
It may surprise you even more to discover that we still disagree with your analysis, no matter how strongly you feel about it, and no matter how many links to former-military-officers-turned-politicians you can cite.
And, ?É propos of nothing at all, if in doing so you feel compelled to claim that an obscure freelance journalist really has done more for his country (in wartime) than many a battalion of soldiers, you can expect those of us who actually know what the combat power of a battalion of soldiers is to disagree with you, while simultaneously finding you personally disagreeable.
And that’s before you have the chutzpah to accuse us of moral corruption, not knowing anything more about us that what you’d like to be true.
And one more little thing: We who wear the uniform of our country, and who have sworn an oath to support and defend that country’s Constitution also wear your contempt as a badge of honor. Just curious: How do you wear ours?
We’re back, thank you very much.
I have determined that Systems Engineering is going to be hard.
Just thought I’d get that out there, maybe. Along with expressing my deep satisfaction that I’ve actually sold a sweatshirt. So there.
Yes, I can see my future rolling out in front of me, even now: At this rate, I’ll have money for lunch by 2007.
Maybe even supper.
Of course I want one. But will I get one?
I will not.
“Why?” you ask.
Because I’m so damned strong, gentle reader.
You should have known that. What were you thinking?
But I will tell you that Jobs has definitely pissed me off this time. If it had only been twice as fast, that would be one thing.
But four times? Now I can’t even buy last year’s model (at a discount) without feeling woefully inadequate, even contemptible.
Sigh.
Well that wasn’t so short at all, was it?
I hope you appreciate it. What I do for you.
Have a great weekend!
And I am the one that purchased a loaded new 15″ powerbook 3 months ago. Who is now casting a rather contempible eye towards Cupertino…
Bryan
And I just picked up three PowerBooks three weeks ago.
A 170 (1991), a 520 (1994) and a 1400cs (1996).
For a total of $10. It seemed like a good idea at the time. (They all run; the 520 never came out of the box until the purchasing college dumped it as surplus a few months ago.)
My 12″ G4 PowerBook is less than a year old; so I guess for now I’ll make do with it for a while.
But it’s hard.
Maybe the new 20″ iMac…
*flipping the beads of my trusty abacus*
Good words, skipper… And to you technophiles with the latest gizmos:
PPppPppPpPPpPpPpPpPpPPpPpPpPPPPpPPPPPpPbt!
(and, yes, that was tinged in a green that’s derned near radioative… *grin*
LOL! Yes, very appreciated.
Thanks. I needed a laugh after a week like this one has been.
And I just got linked in a Kos Open Post late this evening… should be a fun weekend (/sarcasm). But I think I’d rather have that than a houseful of 11-year-old girls and sullen teenagers. I’m getting a migraine just imagining it!
Sorry to hear that guy is still under your skin (somehow I feel responsible). But he’s really not worth it, having no capacity to understand why you (and others) were offended.
And that bit about the drivers on the 5: having been there recently, that was the thing that scared me the most about being on the freeway down there. They’re insane. But then again, when it comes to motorcycles on that same stretch of land… for some reason, “glass houses” comes to mind…
Hmmm… this has been a rather meandering comment. But like I said, tough week. And it’s late.
“We who wear the uniform of our country, and who have sworn an oath to support and defend that country?ɬ
“We who wear the uniform of our country, and who have sworn an oath to support and defend that country’s Constitution also wear your contempt as a badge of honor.”
A very nice turn of phrase Lex.
As for your domestic noise situation, I believe I’m reading my future in your words. I’m thinking of a pair of noise-cancelling headphones playing “Comfortably Numb” and a really good cold beer (or other pacifying beverage of your choice). Just close your eyes and slide away…
Yep…noise-cancelling headphones Lex, just as Brian sez. Sony makes a very nice set which cost considerably less then the Bose headphones.
And Systems Engineering is “hard”? Nah…
its just requires one to employ good ole fashioned common sense. Let me know if you need
any references to SE material. Got a ton of stuff when I got my M.S. in SE at Johns Hopkins.
Cheers…and have a great weekend!
Hi Lex,
Really great set of musings! Thank you for the smile.
If you want that PowerPC, get it! You should give yourself a present every once in a while. The kids will inherit it if you do go for that rope…
And I second the motion aboout not letting barking moonbats get under your skin. After all, you are in a win-win situation. If the good guys win, they eat crow. If the bad guys win, they have to wear a bhurka!
It may surprise, but I do appreciate what you do for us readers. Also, I have received a nomination to the USNA from my congressman. Thought you’d like to know since you gave me some good advice many moons ago. Thanks for that by the way.
Re: the kids, you need to think more passive-aggressive! Pretend you are deaf and ask each and every one about how their school week went, and what is their favorite class. Ask their names and mix them up (extra points for calling a guy by a girl’s name). Hear “Economics” and change it to “Home Economics”. Wax nostalgic about having to use slates and vinegar-soaked sponges in school, and how everyone laughed when you dipped Mary Sue’s pigtails in the inkwell and she didn’t notice. (They think you are an old fogey anyway so you have nothing to lose, really.) You’ll clear the house faster than an incontinent skunk.
Cap’n
As the father of 3 daughters (and grandfather to 4 more) I can relate to the increasing noise levels when they and those of their ilk gather. I find that the speed at which they speak seems to gain velocity in time with the ambient noise levels.
As to those poor souls who seem to believe everyone should think as they do, piffle! They are nothing but noise that mature adults should pay no mind.
PS, bought a sweatshirt because I can 8-}
You could always try breaking out the baby pictures — my younger sister HATED that when she was at the sullen teen stage. She would suddenly remember the most amazing array of previous engagements elsewhere.
Sir,
I seem to recall an earlier offer to take some of the ne’er-do-well slackers skeet shooting. Brightly announcing “target practice!” as you stride down the stairs will guarantee three things:
a] Every able-bodied teenage male will be clamoring to be picked to go on the serious-cool shotgun gig wit da alpha dude, wich be yu. And you get to pick…
b] teen daughter will realize father actually remembers surfer retinue, wants to get to know them better, and-gasp-they even like to hang with my dad! Expect exasperated extended phone confab with girlfriends.
c] Utter horror on the faces of the “ostensible leadership” as white whine & cheese cabal on school districting is stunned into sullen silence by the timeless example of the seasoned coach offering valued instruction to willing and eager teens.
d] The look on everyone’s faces–priceless
Its all good…