Neptunus Lex

23 responses so far ↓

• 1 JPS // Feb 16, 2006 at 4:12 pm

  Cap’n Lex:

  None of my business, sir, and I am no more qualified to issue parenting advice than I am to discourse on, say, carrier aviation.

  That said: Would failure to react necessarily engender further escalation? Just floating an alternative hypothesis, is it possible she’d know the blue grates on you, and appreciate your reticence on the matter? Or is this the kind of question only asked by an egghead academic, his reasoning unimpeded by any knowledge of how the actual world works?

  Lot of flagrantly unnatural shades of hair where I teach. (By which I mean not only colors not found naturally in hair, but colors achieved only through sophisticated synthetic chemistry.) I admit this would bug me if one of these kids were mine, but they do seem to keep their noses firmly to the grindstone. One student who suddenly adopted a stunning shade of purple was a researcher of mine, and a fine one. So, as an old fud before my time, I’ve reluctantly concluded: Ah well, what’s the harm?

• 2 lex // Feb 16, 2006 at 4:26 pm

  I wish I knew the answer, my friend. I’m all a tip-toe with indecision and wishing it wasn’t so.

  The Kat, our youngest, is a fan of equestrian sports, which, being hideously expensive, is what rich people do to get dirty. Rather than camping say, or gardening. We are a trifle out of our economic milieu in that environment. Still, others tell me that it’s a useful outlet for a girl’s energies, and cheaper over the long haul than Betty Ford.

  Which I’ll allow, while continuing to question in a private way whether or not causality is firmly established, between not riding horses and later abuse of controlled substances.

  In just this way, but in an opposite direction, a father may be relieved to discover that there are graduate students at prestigious universities who color their hair in many-splendored hues, without being perfectly set at ease on the subject of whether this is, in itself a positive thing in the life of his own particular daughter.

• 3 Greg // Feb 16, 2006 at 4:47 pm

  Consider it but a phase, as you have done all you can to plant the seeds of what we used to call “normalcy”.To wit: manners,hygiene, and fashion sense.

• 4 babs // Feb 16, 2006 at 4:59 pm

  I told my children that they may do anything they wish with their hair as it is a renewable resource. However, they may not pierce, except ears, or tatoo any part of their bodies while living in my home.
  The thing is tho Lex, we had this discussion before anyone turned up with blue hair. When the stupid hair thing started happening, I was able to say “you look stupid” and not have it escalate because they already knew they had full reign in regards to their hair and I had a right to an opinion.
  When one of them came home with their tongue pierced…. I had a full out fit, complete with screaming and ranting about, and demanded that the foreign device leave my home immediately. Maybe I just got lucky, but it worked.

• 5 MMDeuce // Feb 16, 2006 at 6:57 pm

  Given that I’m about halfway between your daughter and yourself and my interaction with the fair sex takes place exclusively in an instructor/student framework, I’m in no way qualified to give advice. But that’s never stopped me before.

  Tell her you liked her hair better as blond. Lets her know that you do notice, that she does have some Independence, and she doesn’t have to go to extremes to prove it.

• 6 Jeff // Feb 16, 2006 at 7:25 pm

  My roommate told me once about a fellow who drew an online comic strip (I forget which one.. I’ll have to ask). Apparently this fellow had brightly colored hair, piercings all over his face and body, and wore rather wild clothing

  …all while working on his PhD in Physics.

• 7 JarheadDad // Feb 16, 2006 at 7:40 pm

  BWWWAAAAA! LMAO!

  When Dink was 13 she pissanted me to no end for a belly button ring. Being the good guy that I am I told her, “Sure thing Honey”! While we were at a tournament near the beach I found the most vile, disgusting, scary, biker tattoo parlor I could find and proceeded to take her in to get her piercing! HA! Took her about two minutes to freak out and that was that!

  Until a year and a half later when SHE picked the spot and I was stuck! Luckily it is the only body part pierced to this day.

  So who am I to give advice? LOL!

  Equestrian more expensive that soccer? I think NOT! heh! But at least I don’t have to pay a cent for college and I don’t think horses get scholarships! he-he!

  Upside? Dad’s wallet get’s to stay with Dad. Downside? She’s attending Jimmy Carter’s alma mater. A man that was chased off a lake by a bunny rabbit. What does that say exactly?

  I truly do not know what to think about that! We all have our windmills! Still LMAO!

• 8 AW1 Tim // Feb 16, 2006 at 7:49 pm

  Skipper,

  It’s like this: Your kids are going to do that which they feel they must do, regardless of your opinions on the matter. I have three of the buggers. 19, 17, and 7… God decided I didn’t have enough to do…. Anyway, the 19 year old was my pride and joy. She got a scholarship to a private girls school. the promptly called me one weekend to tell me all about the frat party where she learned to play beer pong….. She;s taken to smoking cigars as well…. she reminds me that I was smoking them when in the Navy and flying Uncle Sam’s expensive planes around the world… and asks me what’s the dif. I remind her that I am her father, and THAT’S what’s the diff…. That I KNOW what sailor’s are like… etc.

  Sheeees… I understand completely now why my own father has no hair….. and why he drank…..

  My son, 17 going on 30, decided to quit high school. He thinks he’s going to be the next Ozzy. OK… DAD was a music major, and DAD played professionally, but DAD AlSO got a degree and FINISHED SCHOOL! Cripes… I understnd whay the Navy has a NATOPS manual. I wish they had one for kids…

  Aty least the boy can actually play, and has a talent for the guitar… but still…

  Skipper, it’s like this: You are on your own. feel free to call for advice. Feel free to rant and rave. Happy to share stories and advice…

  However, the best advice I can give you is to let go the chains, let the bird fly, and be there to talk them down if they need help. I have told them all that no matter ehat, I love them, and will always love them. They can always know that there is a bed if they need it, a meal if they need it, and a pair of arms to hold them when they need it. I can’t live their lives for them, and they have to make their own decisions, but as long as I am alive, I’ll share what I have, and give them a safe harbor while they repair and refit.

  Respects,

  AW1 Tim

• 9 seawitch // Feb 16, 2006 at 8:28 pm

  This too will pass. My son went through a period of the Gothic look. He wore black all the time and wore all the trimmings associated with it. He wanted to dye his red hair black. I told he could but he would have to go to the store and buy the dye with his own money. Same with the piercing. He didn’t dye his hair and had nothing pierced.

  A few months later, he met a girl who didn’t like all the Gothic stuff and he stopped wearing all the junk.

  Stuff like clothes and hair color are passing fads. Though it does tend to grate on the parents eyes.

• 10 AW1 Tim // Feb 16, 2006 at 8:50 pm

  Shipmate Seawitch,

  Well, the problem here is that DAD has the black clothes and the piercings…..

  On a funny note, I hear my son picking out the melody to “Iron Man” by Black Sabbath. I mention it to him, and he says, quite innocently, “You KNOW that song?” Says I, well son, I bought that album back in 1972 or so…. to which he asks… how old is Ozzy????

  Dad then replies… son, he’s older than I am… to which son lets out a pitiful Nooooo…..!!!!!!!

  It was a magic moment. He feels so used. I feel so old…..

  Respects,

  AW1 Tim

• 11 Kevin // Feb 17, 2006 at 2:27 am

  Maybe if you and the hobbit came home one day with blue hair…. it would suddenly be uncool.

  Not sure how that would go over at work though…. heh.

• 12 CPT J // Feb 17, 2006 at 5:54 am

  Sir,

  Quickest solution I ever heard of:

  Daughter has neon hair color that gives dear father heartburn. Father gets a fantasy wig in the most outrageous range of hues not found in nature. Comes down for breakfast, reaches for the cereal smiling to all at the table. Asks daughter if she needs ride to school…

• 13 BillT // Feb 17, 2006 at 6:00 am

  Hey, Lex–as long as it was *Navy* blue, you could chalk it up to a late payoff on your 2001 Army-Navy game bet.

• 14 Cricket // Feb 17, 2006 at 6:18 am

  Hair is not a big issue like body piercings, tattoes, drugs, clothing or premarital sex and peer pressure.

  It will grow out.

  I like the idea of the clown wig and the ride to school. Must try that sometime.

• 15 lex // Feb 17, 2006 at 6:25 am

  Oh, but it’s not Bill - it’s a rather Air Forcified electric blue. Only now, having decided that too much was not enough? She’s managed to partially remove the blue from below the earline, for that mutli-colored look.

  This is a kind of proof that God not only exists, but that he has both a long memory and a sense of humor.

• 16 seawitch // Feb 17, 2006 at 6:29 am

  shipmate aw1,

  I had a similiar experience with my son regarding Aerosmith. I was also playing a Styx CD and he goes, that is so cool. The alternative rock radio station he listens to plays Jimmy Hendrix, we were driving along and one of his songs came on and I was singing to it. My son looks over at me and says you know that?

  It’s so funny when yound adults think they have discovered something great only to realize that their parents heard it first.

• 17 Cricket // Feb 17, 2006 at 6:45 am

  Many many years ago…when I lived in California there was a radio station in Carmel whose format was determined by what the dj had been tripping on. Made for some interesting commentary and music.

  Back to the teen stuff; at least you can talk about it and they realize that your brain hasn’t set in concrete or succumbed to total loco parentis.

• 18 April // Feb 17, 2006 at 6:52 am

  I’m very lucky. I totally did not get the kids I deserve.

  I was the one with the wierd punk haircuts, tattoos (thank goodness piercing wasn’t big yet in the early ’80s), and bad attitude.

  The most radical mine get is my son, who likes to grow his very curly hair into a giant afro.

  Anything with hair is so temporary. I wouldn’t worry ’bout it, but I like the suggestions of positive reaction, like, “I like your hair better blonde.” You’ve stated your opinion, but not had a cow, as it were.

• 19 MCPO Airdale // Feb 17, 2006 at 7:43 am

  Skipper -
  When number one son was a senior in HS, I came back from an extended TAD to discover his hair a bright yellow with spikes. I didn’t say much other than to comment on how “bright” it made him look.

  The hair color only lasted about a month. The wife claimed he went back to his normal color and cut because I didn’t freak out. I have no idea if that was the reason or not.

• 20 ry // Feb 17, 2006 at 8:40 am

  Well, at least she hasn’t gone for the checkerboard pattern—which just looks pathetic no matter who does it—or the Sinead O’Connor. It really *is* a fashion amoungst the kids now days.
  The upside: Even grad students quit when they have to go looking for real jobs in my experience(even the mega tatooed with guinea pig crazt fur-esque hairdos in the physics dept). It doesn’t really seem to be a thing of full on rebellion, just trying to be hip.
  Though, I did date a girl who once died her hair the school colors for a CIF track meet once…..

• 21 SGT Jeff (IRR) // Feb 17, 2006 at 10:00 am

  Sir,

  Before changing your own look in some fashion, please consult Navy uniform & grooming regs.

  I had an E-4 co-worker (known for doing dumb things) get into trouble with his E-6 supervisor because his bleach job went too far and turned his hair light green.

  Since this is not a “natural hair color,” the supervisor told him he had until the next day to correct the color to something “natural” or get it all shaved off. It’s probably redundant to mention that the E-4 was rather vain about his hair…growing it to a length that took mildly unusual grooming to make it appear within regulation length.

  I think it was brown the next day.

  As for your daughter, perhaps saying that you liked the strawberry blonde look (as opposed to critizing the blue) would get her to settle on it?

• 22 Punctilious // Feb 17, 2006 at 10:29 am

  The best advice I ever got was “don’t sweat the stuff that isn’t permanent.” Want a tattoo? Here’s a sharpie.

  (I might just find myself in neon wig in the parent drop-off lane.)

• 23 CPT J // Feb 18, 2006 at 4:20 pm

  I believe all parents of teenagers should be issued a neon clown wig of their choice, plus an oversize T-shirt with the digital image of their teen on the front and back, with caption “Proud Parent of: [insert enlarged picture of adolescent hair rebellion here].

  Think of all the neat teen parents you could meet… There’s strength in numbers, folks.

  As my 17 year-old long ago learned, Dad doesn’t have to actually embarass you in front of your friends. All I have to do is present a credible threat –their vivid imagination does the rest.

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