Well, and I very much appreciate all those who offered their thoughts. They pushed and pulled in many different directions, and apart from those who counselled immediate retirement – sorry, that’s not me – I have shared in all of them, all in a moment. Funny how things can swirl so quickly through your mind, between the moment when you hear unlooked for news, and the moment after, when you are asked what you think of it.
Is there a moment of wounded pride, wherein you ask: What? How can I be offered up? How can I be spared? As busy as I am, and as much as I contribute?
There is. But we are none of us irreplaceable, the wheel continues to turn. And it does not surprise me that I am offered up: I made a decision some time ago that this would be my last tour, which obviated the need for self-promotion. I do my work quietly, accept no thanks, offer it instead to others. It’s really quite astonishing what you can do, when you don’t care who gets the credit.
Is there a moment when the old joy of battle sings again in your heart? When you think of joining the fray rather than reading about it? When you think of qualifiying in weapons whose range is measured in meters rather than in miles? Of strapping on and suiting up once more? Of hurling yourself into the fight?
There is such a moment. A moment only. And then you reflect that no one places super-annuated FA-18 pilots on the deck in order to carry the fight to the foe. You reflect that of all the things you might learn in Sojer School, the most valuable would be to count your rounds as they went down range, in order to save the last one for the end. Because just like in the days when I strapped an airplane on to go to war, if it comes at last to a pilot with a pistol in his hand and dust on his boots, something has already gone horribly wrong, and the odds of it getting any better are vanishingly small.
No, they don’t want a grounded air warrior. Much more likely to be building powerpoint slides, safely ensconced in the rear, while younger men, better men, men trained for the work and environment do the necessary, and despise those who remain safe behind the barricades and concertina wire, turning powerpoint slides. Pretending to make a difference.
But would not my presence there perhaps free one such man up to fight the good fight? Is not this a kind of service?
It is. But it is a service in muted tones. I was a very good pilot once. One of the very best, if you will permit me this very rare immodesty. But I was only ever an average officer, and have never been much better than an average staff officer. I cannot make myself care as much about the slickness of the presentation as I ought to. I have never managed the task of gladly executing an idea with which I profoundly disagree. I take no pleasure in someone else’s misfortune. I have never been political. I was just a good pilot who stayed beyond his use-by date.
But the call has not gone out for a used-to-be somebody. The call is for an anybody of a certain grade. Anybody at all, so long as he wears eagles.
Color me uninspired.
Bahrain, then? Among friends, and work you know? Six months against 15? Surely that would be the easier path?
Ah, yes. But neither have I been an easier road kind of guy. It would feel like cheating, volunteering to spend six months in NAVCENT in order to avoid the harder service. A dodge, the sea-lawyer’s way out. Not quite dishonorable, but not entirely creditable either.
Are there not also personal considerations?
There are. I’ve a teenaged daughter who is on the very brink of casting her life away, and is also therefore on the very brink of saving it. Because of the many times I was not there for her, I take some degree of responsibility for her closeness to the precipice. I’d like to hope that I can help her step safely away from the chasm. I fear what might happen if I am gone for six months, for a year. It is a very sensitive time. I love her very much. I have already missed so many opportunities to make a difference. I feel sometimes that the clock is running out. I am not entirely sure that this is going to work out. I’d like to know, twenty years from now, that I’d done the best I could.
And the Hobbit?
She is a trooper. She always has been. She understands the needs of the service. She thinks I’ve already done my bit. She might take it hard if I volunteered for the longer bout. She’d gladly trade for the shorter one, if forced to choose. But we’ve already talked about taking the easier path, haven’t we?
We have.
So did all of this go through my head in the moment after The Man asked, “what do you think?”
It did. And I answered him on the go, “I’ll go where I’m sent, do what I’m asked to do. I won’t volunteer.”
Which was not an acceptable answer either. Not to me.
And here we are.
Let you know when I know.
Despite the remark about beer in Bahrain, this is the choice I would have made as well. It sounds like a more interesting assignment, although Eagle1 can tell you that my idea of what comprises interesting is a bit different, as you said it is probably more utilitarian as well. I echo Eagle1′s sentiments, best of luck with this, please continue to illuminate us with your adventures.
You are a man after Ronald Reagan’s heart & soul:
“Mr. Reagan was always very modest about his own accomplishments. He kept a sign on his desk every day he was both governor and president: ‘There is no limit to what you can accomplish if you don’t care who gets the credit.’”
http://reagan2020.us/record/bestofhim.asp
I would like to think that this is my motto, as well.
Wherever you go, please be sure they grant you Internet access. Else we would be suffering alongside the Hobbit, SNO and daughter.
And we didn’t sign up for that.
In all of these words I see one clear flaw. in the 6th paragraph, you speak of “younger men, better men”. They may be younger, they may be more physically fit. I would take issue with the idea that they are “better”.
You and I have had our day. They would not take me in October 2001. I tried. I would go now, and I could walk that flightline. I could fix systems. I don’t need to be in a foxhole with a rifle to contribute. I could do it as well as I did then.
They turned me down. Too old. All of us who wore uniforms as young men still raise our heads and turn to the sound of the guns.
If you do go, and with no aspirations of wearing stars, you would be a rare man, the kind of officer that might make a crucial difference, in some situation that you can not foresee.
If you do not go, you may make a crucial difference in your daughter’s life. Also something you cannot foresee.
None of yet know what challenges are before us. Whatever decision you make here, most of what happens is out of our control, and we just get to react.
We’re not yet really fighting this war. It’s coming, I think, but part of the problem is we are still playing around. Our leaders don’t yet believe we can lose. Much is yet to come, and none of us know how it is going to play out.
I don’t know what role faith has in your life. But here’s an idea. Walk outside and look up at the night sky. I do this occasionally just to remind myself how insignificant I am. Then ask, “What should I do, Lord? What decision is the right one for me? I really want to know, more than anything, I am asking for wisdom in this decision.”
Prayers for wisdom have a good track record for being honored, if you look in the Book. Might break the bottleneck you’re currently facing.
Semper Fidelis,
ASM826
Sir,
I do not intend to sway you either way. I am on the opposite end of things as you are; I am just starting my carreer. Rather, I wish you the best of luck and will put you and your family in my prayers.
V/r,
Dan
Dang, Sir, you’ll never hoist yer flag if you keep baring your soul like that, in public.
Now, if *I* were President and also somehow simultaneously a majority in Congress…
I mean, lesser people than you seem to be have been promoted to higher ranks than yours. Whatever. As they say, tell the truth and shame the Devil.
Lex,
Bad Bob had it right. Ask yourself, “what’s in it for you?” Unless they are going take care of you on the other side, there is no up side to this, only down sides either way.
Now as you know, I am vehemently opposed to the IA program. I consider it a dodge and a “back door draft” that masks the real issue at hand, namely that the Army is not big enough, the War in Iraq is not in America’s best interest, and its wrong to be cutting people in the middle of a war. Therefore I consider any action that makes them unable to do this to you, quite acceptable. You paid your “service to king and country dues”-this is just trying to bleed more blood out of you. And in the end your reward from the King will be exactly the same.
SJS had it right and I happen to know he agonized over this decision. He at least had the common sense to reach for the handle at the right time, not ride on for too long and come to regret it.
Its just my .02, and I know they have to offer up someone to fill the requirement, but you should not feel that you “have” to do this. Everything in its good time.
Lex, my 2 cents, as one of the elders amongst your readers (means only – MAY have seen more water over the dam.)
Family first, if they are in need today then tomorrow won’t do! A bad decision there has hurt and guilt for the remainder of your lives. All other paths have shorter endings, not necessarily less pain but generally less guilt.
I am not qualified to give any advice on the matter. But these words come to mind:
“This above all else: To thine own self be true.”
Cap’n,
ASM826 said a lot about how I feel as well. I also hit up the recruiters right after the attacks. Told them I was more than happy to come back in and do whatever it takes. I can still close my eyes and run down my preflight checks, fer goodness’ sake:)
However, I told them I didn’t think I’d have to run a 4.6 40 time to sit at a sensor station on a P-3 or even to crew a helo. If needs be, I’d be happy to be the Division LPO, or instruct, or just sit a desk and answer phones. That would, at least, free someone else up to go flying or whatever needed to be done.
It just seems to me that there’s a pool of us older but still useful folks available who ought to be tapped to help things along. There’s those who would say it’s just an old guy’s fantasies, but that’s not the case. I know well what the pointy end of the stick looks like. Perhaps it’s just the New Englander in me that hates to see anything useful tossed out.
Regardless, you have my respect, not just for what you have done as a sailor and an officer, but what you have done with your skills as a writer and a communicator. That is a gift so many of us waste, yet so many need.
I do know, however, that whatever choice you make will be the right one. It’s in you.
Respects,
Whoa Skip.
re- “Bad Bob had it right. Ask yourself, ?
Whoa Skip.
re- “Bad Bob had it right. Ask yourself, “what’s in it for you?” Unless they are going take care of you on the other side, there is no up side to this, only down sides either way.”
I ain’t a “what’s in it for me kinda guy”. Believe me, I wouldn’t have done what I did or be where I am if I was, sad to say….
Look folks. Lex has done all a man can be asked to do as a Naval Officer and aviator. Long before 9-11 he was leaving his home country for months at a time, to live in a well…a prison-like atmosphere where he risked his life daily (trust me when I say that). As warrior and leader he met the challenge since he was 18 years old. Think about it.
That being said, I want y’all, particularly you civilians, to understand that as we go up the pyramid that is the officer corp of the USN we get less and less choices every time orders (job changes) come up. Lex has reached his ceiling for a traditional path to future echelon command in the Navy. Simple as that. At the same time, one doesn’t realize the meaning of -”needs of the service”, until you become a senior officer (0-5 and above). That being said, and without villifying the Navy’s political/military requirements for IA ala Skippy (I’m neutral), I would say that this is a program that…well…ain’t part of the program. Remember what Lex himself said above.- “any 0-6″.
To put it simply, we get few choices in this military avocation and whatever Lex chooses will be, trust me again, “Honorable”.
Lex- you’ve got one helluva lot of advice going here, eh? I heard you can judge a mans wealth by the quality of his friends.
B2
It’s been a long time since I was in your shoes. Some things never change. You can see that you likely will not be used to the fullest with your personal skill sets. You are needed at home, believe me!
The entire envelope surrounduing your future is under your control. Make the best use of the time you have to serve and then bail out with a good feeling. You’ve done your duty and given the pound of flesh. Now look ahead.
Best wishes
Bill–the old salt
Howdy Lex,
We don’t chat often but anyway here’s what I can say, for what ever it is worth.
I’m speaking from the Army side, and the running joke was, once I hit E-6, that nobody retires from the Army. We’re just Medical’d out broken. Bad knee’s. bad ankles, bad hips, bad back. 8 miles a day, 10 jumps a year, 70 pounds on the back and combat load.
Why do i say this, when i know your Navy?
Because we still did it. Even though it sucked, it was bad, and if you find someone who says the enjoyed running 8 miles at 6 am everyday screaming some foolish cadence about “Up the hill. The little hill” then they are a better man than myself.
The point is that no one here can be judgemental for the decesion you made. Period. As long as you feel its the right direction, then we have no place to point fingers, lay blame, or otherwise take a stand for your life and career.
At some point they make us all a Chairborne Ranger. At some point the rule and slide become more familiar than the bayonet and M-16. At some point we’re no longer playing in the dirt with the boys, but we are designing the method by which they will under take said play in said dirt on such and such time, at such and such place, in a proper effecient military manner.
At that point we’re doing what they’ve asked us to do, not neccesarily what we to do.
As you said, a pilot, with pistol and dirty boots.
Make no mistake, despite my previous slightly jovial comments regarding bahrain, niether location is a pleasure cruise, and I completely understand the desire with which to make sure family comes first and not volunteering.
I could tell you all day what I would do, but in the end the decesion comes down to you, and what you want to leave as your Opus…to your sailors, your career, but most of all, your familiy.
The call of battle is one to quicken the heart. The beat of the warrior drum brings speed to the breathing, a clenched fist at your side as you wish to leap in to the fray, like some sword weilding gladitator of old, to taste the sweat dust and blood once more through gritted teeth.
We’re older now, supposed to be smarter now, and maybe we are or we aren’t, but in the end we’re still men.
I know you excell and Shakespeare, but I submit to you, Aristotle.
“Moral excellence comes about as a result of habit. We become just by doing just acts, temperate by doing temperate acts, brave by doing brave acts.”
You are no less for your decesion, no less of a patriot, no less of a man, no less of a human being, either for your desire or your hopes and dreams, including success for that of your children.
I’ve pratteled on enough here. More than I’ve commented here in probably a year or more.
But for some reason I was compelled to tell you, from one former soldier (and son of a sailor. heh) to one current sailor:
You are what you are. Thank God. And thank you for your contributions past present and future. No matter what anyone else says. Thanks.
I have to join the skippy and b2 school of advanced military thought here.
I’m presuming you’re upset about the potential orders b/c you have a rare skill set which you obtained over an enormous length of time at extreme cost to personal and family hapiness. The Nav *had* told you it didn’t have any use for your skill set anymore (a questionable judgement) and you were making preps to leave, again at extreme cost to personal and family hapiness. No one studies bond math for fun.
Nav comes back, says, we have something for you to do.
“dropping ordnance on the bad guys?” — ah, no.
“training people (ours, theirs, its all good) to drop ordnance on bad guys?” — ah, no.
“administering the dropping of ordnance on bad guys?” — ah, no.
Box on an org chart in the Provisional Reconstruction Team or the IA chain of command for better part of 2 years? –yup.
Well, it seems, at best, insensitive of the Navy; at worst, it seems mindless, arbitrary, poorly thought out and selfish. Given the fact pattern, one might reasonably feel ill used.
You know you have better options.
Lex-
Good luck and best wishes mate.
Lex, one last comment. After reading this last post, I would give careful consideration (which I know you will) to your daughter; both you and her deserve to have you at home. Trust me, she needs you there. I lost my dad when I was nine and looking back on my own experiences as a teenager and watching those of other girls who were forced to grow up without a dad around, I really believe it has some major effects and certainly some not so positive ones, during the teenage years. Your daughter hasn’t “lost” her dad but she does need you in close proximity right now, the longer and closer to home the better. For both your sakes.
And with that said, I will just once again say, Best of luck, I know it must be an agonizing decision for you. And whatever it is you decide, we will be right here cheering you on, for as long as you let us.
Lex – I’m with the Lionness. Be true to yourself and in your infinite wisdom you will choose the path that is the best for you and your family.
Don’t envy your position though – you are a man of deep and clear honor, which makes this a much more difficult decision.
Whatever that is, be well, stay safe and know that all of us will keep you in our hearts and minds.
What ever else you may or may not be, you are a man possessed of deep personal insight. Unless a man possesses this, he is not capable of insight into others, and unless he possesses that he has no right to lead men.
Whether the Navy, in it’s wisdom, chooses to utilize you appropriately or not, that it has men of your caliber available to it, is it’s greatest asset. Consistently, the greatest military leaders were considered to be of little merit, until the time of death and despair had already begun.
You have devoted your life to this endeavor, will you do less now. The correct response is that I volunteer for whatever duty is of the most pressing need. There are always new lessons for a man to learn and Bagdad is where they are growing the fresh crop of lessons.
Please forgive me for the presumption of this comment. I am not a person qualified to give anyone advice on anything but these last posts of yours are deeply moving. That the Navy is losing senior officers such as you is not a good sign.
Good Luck
Captain,
If I may offer up my $0.02. Tell me to stay in my place if you need to.
You’ve done your time. You’ve been to war countless times, tossed plenty of ordnance and have had some tossed back at you. The Canoe Club has gotten their money’s worth and you in turn have served your country far beyond what most people ever will.
Meanwhile, your family had to deal with all the time that you spent on deployments. Hard on your wife, but she handled it. Hard on your young children, but they managed. But now….now you have a teenager and one almost there. Vunerable, impressionable, girls who are under incredible amounts of peer pressure. Sex, drugs, other dangerous behavior….the temptations of the world pressing in on her. She needs her Dad. You….her father….are the most important person in her life. More important that her mother. Tis true, girls learn about men by watching their fathers. You’ve done your duty as far as the Navy is concerned. But you still have a job….a vitally important job…of making sure the two girls still in the nest get a firm footing on life.
If you do go out now, you won’t be throwing a wrench in the works. There are plenty of other airedale O-6s that would love to have that ticket punched but you have no need. The need is in your own home. There’s a battle to fought and won there, too. One that has eternal consequences.
I’ve really got nothing to add to what everyone else has said, except it’s kind of neat to see how people from everywhere can come together and show proper concern for one man’s family and future.
We’re all pulling for you. Give the Biscuit as much of what she needs as she will let you now, just in case. The Hobbit SNO and the Kat also.
Shakespeare, Henry IV, Part One, 1596:
B2,
I feel there is a need to clarify what I said. The way I wrote it, it seems that all I am saying is to be greedy but that is not what I meant. Its actually advice that was given to me several years back by a mentor. What he was pointing out is what you have, that at some point the adventure changes. He pointed out that at that point, all you really are to the Navy is “warm body” at that point so you need to get something out of the remaining time left to you. His advice was, “there was nothing wrong with trying to make these types of things be a fair trade-because if one does not stick up for himself, no one else will”. In ways you will never understand it was good advice at the time and I still think it served me well when I was faced with some things. That’s all.
?
“I’ll go where I’m sent, do what I’m asked to do. I won’t volunteer.”
what other possible answer could there have been, but exactly that…
Skippy,
One of our rare occasions to agree again.
It’s just that your: “whats in it for me?”, isn’t really what we, or Lex have experienced, or, are going to experience. We may use this phrase flippantly, but perhaps civilians reading this see Michael Douglas in “Wall Street”. As we both know that theme ain’t even close…
I imagine all military officers (even Flags) learn that we ALL get “static” at that particular level of the pyramid. What we do then depends entirely on whether you want to keep doing what you’re doing- often with same-same sea duty, supporting someone else’s agenda/future..Often, this has zero to do with operational leadership or anything remote to ones designator. IA just adds to the calculus.
But you know all this, as does Lex. It’s just that when I see the proferred advice above from civilians trying to understand or those from other services, I get an inkling OUR advice and many of the other Navy guys who have “been there-done that”, advising the same thing are viewed entirely as “whats in it for me” advice when it ain’t. Not close.
I say: when does the self-sacrifice end and ones own needs (family, personal challenges, etc) intersect? Albeit, UNLESS there is really a leadership billet or professional education one would want as a follow on assignment to an IA, however “selfish” that sounds.
I will admit however, that there really is a little side of me that would like to see the Iraq war up a little closer IF I were on active duty, even as a Staff Officer ginning up .ppts. Perhaps I could help? Then I think about my own experience as a staff officer before I retired and I say- no way, I didn’t make much of a difference then..why should I think anythings changed? Although I have never met Lex personally, his blog entries clearly leave me with the impression he is considering IA for the same reason…..
Know what I mean Skippy?
B2
Lex,
I’m afeared of asking an ignorant question, but doesn’t the Canoe Club allow you to bring your family along on redeployments? Your wife and daughter might find the exposure to another culture rewarding, whichever way you go. (Especially since you don’t have to wear the burqua either place anymore, ‘far as I know.)
Dave
on these tough ones, practice answering the question by first saying, “I serve at the pleasure of the Commander in Chief…” and then inserting your reponse.
one of the versions will sound silly, one of the versions will sound correct.
and that one, sir, is your answer.
A wise ole’ Naval Aviator (Flag) once told me…
?
A wise ole’ Naval Aviator (Flag) once told me…
“You need a cause greater than yourself, to challenge your soul and to allow you to earn your own respect… Your life will never be greater.”
He was right! And when I asked him what his cause was, his response… “My Family!”
I respect your dilemma Lex, and more importantly your sharing the internal debate. Your forthright exhibition of thoughts, as well as your (institutionally less respected) “Feelings,” serve as a fine example to many others who may be experiencing similar thoughts with no understanding of community.
By the way, I had a little laugh about the “I will not volunteer…” statement, even though I know the intent was certainly not humorous. I was once offered the advice of another well respected Winged Anchor. His counsel, “Did you know that NAVY is an acronym? It stands for, Never Again Volunteer Yourself!”
He retired with 3 of those shiny Stars on his collar doncha know.
Just my ½ cent.
-JC
I only have a basic understanding of IA and what it leads to, but I do understand this is one of those moments where you have to decide where you really stand, not just in some misty future, but now. All your musings on what you ought to do, and what you thought you felt and meant, suddenly come into focus.
I’m thinking IA is one of those assignments that is what you make of it. It can be seen as an obligation – everybody gets to do one sooner or later, so your number is up and you may as well get it over with.
It can be seen as an opportunity – a job nobody really wants, but a chance to contribute, to show what you are made of in ways you did not expect.
Either way it’s not one of those moments when you ask yourself, what do I get out of it?
Retirement shouldn’t even come into it. It’s not for you to decide when your usefulness to your service is at an end, or that you have ‘done enough.’ You should retire when you feel there is no more for you to contribute. The time for this is not when you are presented with a difficult billet. And if you reneg, then somebody else, also with family obligations and retirement plans in their head, has to take up your slack.
I am sure these thoughts are also in your mind, Lex, and I’m not telling you a thing. You’ve thought about all of this and I think you know, deep down, which is the answer you should give.
I guess I agree with the face in the mirror comment. Will you be able to look yourself in the mirror in future years and say, yes, I was faced with a hard choice and I stepped up to the plate and made the right decision – in whichever priority that became the determining one: family, individual choice or career obligation.
Dave,
The family can’t go to Iraq because it is in the middle of a civil war.
CAPT Lex,
I went where the Navy sent me. I was not given command.
I did what the Navy asked me. I was used and sent packing with a “thanks for that”.
I served when the Navy needed me. And I was repaid with additional hard jobs which I didn’t really want, didn’t really need, but which served the Navy’s purpose.
And I retired when it was clear the Navy had no further use for me than taking the jobs they could find no one else to take. I would have gladly served if I could have contributed further to the things I loved and honored.
And I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.
Then 9-11 came along. Since then, I have not been able to serve. I have not been allowed to be recalled, enlist, or sign up for anything which could help my country. She claims she does not need me. This is the unkindest cut of all. I’m not even worthy of further service to my country, even when I beg.
I have looked at my face in the mirror every morning and asked what I have done for my country today — and the answer is nothing.
My kids missed me just as much as your child missed you. They have turned out fine. They turned out better after they left my house than they were turning out inside my house (possibly because Dad was a grouchy old fart who obviously didn’t understand growing up today, but I’m sure I’ll be a genius to them 5 or 10 years from now).
There is only one person who knows what you should do. The biggest liar in the world watches you shave his face in the mirror every morning. I know he looks at me every morning while I do the same. And that is the only Man who needs to be answered.
The rest of us don’t mean a thing. We aren’t worth your spit. You do what you want, CAPT Lex. The leader in you knows what to do.
Subsunk
I’m with Subsunk.
When disasters strike the US, like hurricanes, tornados, and terrorist attacks, I cringe. I cringe for 3 reasons:
1. The heartache of it all for the victims
2. The urge to go forth and help, as I know I can.
3. My inability to go forth and help, as I know I can, because of my job and family situations.
I don’t want you to cringe the next time something happens, and you’re sitting at your civvie job, thinking “I should be there!” But, then again, I don’t want you to cringe the next time something happens at home when you’re deployed, thinking “I should be there!”
Damn, Lex. What a predicament. But you know what? Your response is exactly what I would have expected. That’s why I said earlier that I just couldn’t see you dropping your letter just to avoid a deployment.
If you *do* drop that letter, let it be for reasons other than “I don’t want to go”. Let it be because “I’m just a warm body- anybody can fill that spot… but NOBODY can fill my spot at home like I can.”
(((Hugs)))
Wow, AFSis said what i’ve been trying to figure out how to say:
If you *do* drop that letter, let it be for reasons other than ?
Wow, AFSis said what i’ve been trying to figure out how to say:
If you *do* drop that letter, let it be for reasons other than “I don’t want to go”. Let it be because “I’m just a warm body- anybody can fill that spot… but NOBODY can fill my spot at home like I can.”
I know you don’t want to consider that option, but I don’t see how that wouldn’t be a proper factor in your decision, and an honorable response if you have conflicting duties that cannot be reconciled…
Should’ve added: And while the thought that someone else might then be required to do what you would not, there is just as likely someone out there who wants to do it and would use it to further his career goals.
Decisions…
I’ve wanted to write about this from the first day I read Lex’s original post and his many thoughtful commenters, but I both didn’t know what to say and feared treading elephant feet on a such tender ground. But reading Chapomatic finally kicked thi…
I understand your choice not to choose. On September 12, 2001 I had a choice: be mobilized to BUPERS or wait for the involuntary call. With a pregnant wife and small child at home I was fortunate to have the chance to meaningfully contribute and still get home most nights. I was recently offered another chance to contribute, and chose not to choose that time.
In the Reserve biz you have to make sacrifices not only in the family but in the career that normally puts food in their mouths as well. I’ve probably seen the last promotion I ever will and not worried about making a name. I figure if they really need me they know where I am and they’ll come and get me. Other than that, though, I’ll not be adding that VOL code to my record.