Well, so I’ve opened the can on the edged weapons thing, and now it’s out in the open. The thing about it swords is that they can be a kind of obsession. Sure the katana and armor combination would make an interesting conversation piece in the recess just off the front hall – Japan? Served there. Wonderful experience. Kurosawa, etc. The trains.
And clearly a gladius hung on the wall would make a compelling reminder that for as long as we have known it, civilization had to be defended from the depredations of barbarians by men who were sometimes forced to shed the veneer of polite society and respond to brutality in kind.
By why stop there?
Is not the swept hilt rapier a wonderfully evolved specimen of the kind? And if we are to have an example of effete but lethal continental elegance, a weapon built for genteel tip work hanging on our wall, does not the Celtic blood ask – nay: Demand! – a basket-hilted broadsword for your true hacking? And if that’s to be our measure of effectiveness, does not a 15″ khukri have as good a claim as any other, not to mention the savings that are in it?
Because it’s not like you can walk about with a Claidheamh Mhor hanging on your hip these days.
Without being thought, you know: Weird.
And all of those take pride of place even before we come to your essential cavalry sabre, nautical cutlass or companion dirk.
Now, having assembled that store of weaponry – and being nowhere near done, by the way – you are left with only two options: Keep ‘em all in the closet somewhere, where they’re unlikely to do any actual damage to people you care about – unless you stumble in there yourself one day, sleepy-eyed from the hard night of previous… homework, yeah, that’s it.
Or, you hang ‘em all over the walls of your house and the dinner guests start to wonder if they’ve been invited to share supper or season it. Which I suspect might tend to stifle conversation, rather then enhance it.
Having just given a dinner party for 16 this past Saturday, the following made me chuckle as I thought of my friends:
“…they?
Having just given a dinner party for 16 this past Saturday, the following made me chuckle as I thought of my friends:
“…they’ve been invited to share supper or season it.”
I was thinking not about being the seasoning for supper but rather BEING supper; I can provide my own condiments, thankyouverymuch.
Ah guests…you know we’re having guests for dinner
Probably why the polite phrase is “having guest OVER for dinner”.
Kufris rule, BTW
Kukris, I mean
Long ago, I agreed with my hubby that his sabre (I think it’s a sabre) from school would look very nice above the fireplace. He agreed that future “weird” obsessions would be of a size to fit in his skivvy drawer. So far, so good, however, we do now refer to his skivvy drawer as his knife drawer.
If they are still issuing you fly guys those 9mm sidearms you might as well trade for a KBAR. That way if the abrupt halt doesn’t get you in an emergency at least you’d have a real weapon that could do some damage! Heh!
So I take it you aren’t “allowed” to have a room eh? TLB wanted me to put all my weepons and fish and stuff away from the main part of the house, especially out of the den, and down in the basement so we compromised. I put all my stuff away from the main part of the house, especially out of the den, down in the basement and she lets me live here.
Funny thing about that 9 mil, it just gets no respect. No one really wants to shoot the thing because it’s so derned ineffective, but just try to find someone willing to stand in front of it when it’s being shot and you’ll have to go on looking
And the Hobbit does let me have the one room. It’s not much of a room, and I’ve pretty much filled it up. No room for swords, though.
Funny how that works! Shoot, I wouldn’t stand in front of a .22 if I didn’t have to! Heh!
Before the Warlords deployed a few weeks ago a bunch of those knotheads came over and we headed to the range. Dink was home from kolige and rode out with me. Da Boyz of Company G were giggling about a “girl” going out with us. Until we got there anyhoo. I carry a little Springfield V10 Ultra .45 and she’s put hundreds of rounds through it growing up. The Grunts were duly impressed when she stood up and put her first clip in a group the size of a silver dollar but they flipped out entirely when she hit the sand bags with a Brushmaster (civvie M4) and put that group all in the black. Heh! Now there are young Grunts lusting after my poor little waif wallflower type of a daughter. But that’s OK, they served with her brother and know him well! HA!
One little test we did just for fun was setting up a watermelon at 25′ and firing a 9mm through it. The rounds passed through and took out chunks about the size of a quarter. I put one .45 into it and there was no more watermelon! I am glad they are re-issuing the 1911 .45s. The Ultra I carry would be a great side arm but then I have medium sized hands so it may not do as well as the full size 1911 for someone with large hands or as a regular one size fits all standard issue.
Speaking of schwords, I have an original Bowie knife that I got from one of my favorite and goofy Uncles (Phoenix – Nam) when I was a younker. Thing is about as big as a scimitar! It holds an edge so well I can (and have) shave with her in the woods. I bet she would’ve been worth a big bunch of dinero if she hadn’t cleaned so many deer in her lifetime but I’ve never been one to keep things to look at. Heh!
For a younger guy such as myself, it is important to be extremely careful as to how one displays one’s sword collection (yes, I was a Striper, yes, I own a sword), lest someone of the feminine persuasion attempt to make a joke in bad taste with regards to your “other” sword.
Cap’n Lex,
You have all those lovely little rapiers and slender, knife edged blades. I’ll take a hand-and-half bastard, thank you very much, and a handful of Byzantine darts to throw in the meantime.
Funny, you know, how a rich French knight, with a fortune’s worth of hand-made armour and an heirloom blade can still be dropped at a hundred paces by a clothyard shaft let loose by a besotted English yeoman…
As to stifling the conversation, I would alledge that it all depends upon the TYPE of person you invite over to share supper. If they sip wine and discuss their portfolios or children’s soccer teams, then you may well be correct.
On the other hand, if they drink whiskey neat and speak of the faraway and yearsago, or empty the cellar of claret and port while carouling the “Minstrel Boy”, if they can tell the difference between rifle green and port’ogees brown at 200 yards, and argue the merits of a .577 Pritchard versus the 45 Whitworth bolt, then I suspect that’s the type you’d be looking for…..
Respects,
Ah, well, must be I am firmly in the “weirdness” camp, then…..
some 25 years ago, my mother informed me that I wouldn’t find any nice men in a bar (at least here in this county!) and there weren’t any (single) men going to church….
so I went where the men were. Joined the Rod&Gun Club and took up trap shooting seriously (had been playing at it for years) and found an absolute gem…..and he has his OWN guns, and bought me a few! So I have no objection to “stuff” hanging around, although we have no “stuffed” stuff. Just never hung any heads, etc.
so I’m weird…..what of it?
Well, then I’m weird too… ’cause I find things like that quite stimulating of conversation and… well…
Anyways… There’s something charmingly romantic (in the old sense of the word) and innately heroic about swords.
Fbl,
Well, one thing about a good sword is that it will never run out of ammunition. If you keep it clean and well-oiled, give it a good rubbing every now and then to fix it’s edge, and make sure it has a well-fitted scabbard, then it will serve you strongly from the day you first learn how to use it until you breath you last.
Respects,
*whistling through the minefield*
Dear Lex:
I’ve also had a fascination for edged weapoms as well. Most of my stuff is cheap tourist goods, but they look neat.
The two real pieces are a Masai war knife, and a Malayan Kris that my grandfather brought back when he was stationed there in WWII.
You have nothing to apologize for about your interests.
Fbl,
What minefield..? Maybe I’m missing something here…
Respects,
We have a stuffed swordfish hanging in the garage that the last owners left when they moved. Does that count?
So which do you wear with yer choker suit and medals? No, really, are those dress swords just ceremonial and shiny, or actual useful weapons of good steel and proper radius of gyration?
Cap’n,
A Basket-hilted Claidheamh Mhor? Puh-leeze a Good Cletic Warrior carries the Quadrefoil hilted two handed broadsword also known by the same name.
As for handguns, 9mm is .38 written differently. No stopping power. I’d prefer the tried and true M1911A1 in .45 caliber. Just the size of the bore is enough to scare the goblins away.
That first paragraph Lex. Nice. Minimalist. Conversational.
I recently inherited a couple of antique swords from my uncle. Both are Prussian and from Napoleonic era. They had been passed down through the generations on that side of the family.
One is a straight sword, the other is curved and I thought it might be a cavalry sabre at first, but now it looks to me like a “fusilier” sword based on what I see on the internet.
I’d like to display them, but don’t know the first thing about how best to do that, so they sit in the closet.