Your humble scribe: Just sign here on the white piece of paper.
Thoroughly hypothetical individual/correspondent: It’s black.
YHS: What is?
THIC: The paper.
YHS: I’m not sure I understand, I meant this piece of paper right here. The white one.
THIC: Black. It’s clearly black.
YHS: Ohh-kayyy. Just sign at the top there.
THIC: That’s the bottom.
YHS: I don’t…
YHS: Is this one of those, “It depends on what your definition of ‘is’ is” things?
Update: I was deceived! The “InstaCracker” thing should have given it away, combined with the characteristically stubborn resistance to reason and the psychically starved self-approbation but I simply wasn’t paying that close attention.
I’m just not, you know: That in to him.
Update 2: Do you not, when faced with this kind of behavior, at some level wonder, what the f***?