Briefly: It was a wonderful day to fly F-5’s¬†in the Florida Keys, with a pair of onrushing F-14 Tomcats in front of me in the uncertain distance and an F-16N ahead and to my left as my flight lead. At the designated signal¬† - an aileron roll, on this occasion - I went into a spacing maneuver designed to spoil the F-14 radar operators’ laboriously crafted situational awareness. Heading away now from both my wingman and¬†the merge,¬†making good time at about 550 knots or so¬†in a descent,¬†I was feeling¬†very comfortable in the jet, not least because the Tiger II cockpit is remarkably spacious for such a small machine.
And that’s when I caught fire.
Oh, not me personally, and not the entire jet, but something in the electrical system behind the dashboard in front of me (and above my legs underneath the dash) gave up the ghost and connected at least two circuits which had been designed by the engineers to remain isolated. Suddenly my comfortable little cockpit felt rather cramped and crowded. Happened pretty quick too, just a whiff of a harsh electrical odor and then arcs and sparks followed by a billowing, choking cloud.
I found the whole experience very exciting.
Airborne, alone and on fire is no way to go through life, so rather than spend what was threatening to be the rest of my time on earth thinking about it, I reached forward through the¬†smog, fumbled around on the¬†horizontal console¬†and shut off the jet’s single AC generator and then, after only a moment’s hesitation, the DC battery as well. That served to partially clear the cabin of smoke since the electrical system kept the canopy seals inflated with bleed air from the engines and with the power out, my cabin pressure started to leak past the deflating seals, taking some of the smoke with it.¬†Actuating the mechanical ram/dump switch hastened the process along even as I switched the O2 system to 100% oxygen - just in case. My popping ears and whining sinuses seemed a small price to pay for clear air to breathe and a world that I could orient to, no matter how cold it was.
If you’re curious, I wasn’t making this stuff up “on the fly” as they say, these were among¬†the published “boldface” procedures that pilots are required to commit to memory.
For reasons which at this point, probably seem obvious.
In a very short time the fire was out, the air was clear and my heart rate was down to a sustainable level. But I couldn’t talk to anyone, and since I was in an F-5, almost invisible in a turning fight, no one much missed me.
You almost never see the F-5.
I toyed with the idea of turning the battery switch back on to communicate with my lead - the single UHF radio could be operated off of the essential DC bus, powered by the battery - for a bit before finally committing to it. I really didn’t want to catch my legs on fire - fussy that way - but flying back to the field with no IFF (to squawk emergency codes with) and no radio (to get traffic separation and landing clearance with) seemed risky too. There were routine flights of commuter jets into Key West International that seemed to operate as though they were alone in the world, and while there are techniques for NORDO landings at military fields - fly overhead the pattern rocking your wings, turn downwind and look for a green light from the tower on final¬†- I’d never really seen them work that well. You either missed the green light, or the controller missed shining it on you and you’d¬†have to go around and try it again when most of all what you wanted to do was to put the damned thing on the ground and walk away from it.
Oh, sure, there was always the Martin-Baker option, but I was already on the way to completing a flying¬†career in which my take-offs and full-stops added up to a round number, and very much wanted to keep it that way. Besides, as I’ve mentioned before, the F-5 ejection system was a frail vessel into which to pour all of your hopes.¬†Even if it weren’t for all of those hammerhead sharks¬†and the risks to one’s professional reputation.
Better to die than look bad.
Carefully then, and the first task to was to go around and actually turn every piece of electrical gear off before restoring system power to the essential bus. Back to the battery switch, then cautiously to the UHF radio, even as I was wending my way towards to the aerodrome at a moderate pace.
My lead apprised the situation at once, whipped his jet around and ran me down briskly - the Viper was good at that.¬†We quickly formulated an approach plan in which he would perform all radio¬†coordination even while I maintained the formation lead. The visual signal that I was cleared to land would be a patting motion on the dashboard, followed by a thumb’s up. It didn’t take much time to confirm the plan and shut the battery back off again,¬†since it was standard operating procedure to brief NORDO recoveries - and many, many other emergencies - on every flight.
The landing itself was uneventful as they say, apart from my approach speed. Since I couldn’t get the flaps down, I whistled across the fence at about 220 knots as I recall. The brakes would have laughed at me for a moment before cheerfully¬†self-destructing if I had tried to tap them at that speed, but fortunately the drag chute deployed as published in the operator’s manual and using the long runway at Navy Key West I didn’t¬†even have to throw the hook down at the departure end cable.
Just as well, the flimsy thing was mostly just for looks on a USAF jet.
No point to that story really, just thought it was time to, you know: Tell it.
22 responses so far ↓
1
Michelle
// May 10, 2007 at 12:04 pm
“No point to that story really, just thought it was time to, you know: Tell it.”
Thanks for that. Much appreciated. A girl needs a good fix every once in a while.
2
Deborah Aylward
// May 10, 2007 at 12:17 pm
No real point to this, either. Just a few questions: 1).Is the F-5 a fighter, striker(I don’t know what that means, really, as I was under the mistaken belief that all military aircraft were called fighter jets), fixed-wing, or…? 2).Just a suggestion, but would you consider posting more reminiscences in the future as you possess a marvellous writing style. 3).I almost gave up and returned later today as the classical FM station was playing a rather yucky version of Ravel’s Bolero sung in African…yes, sung in African. I guess the music alone isn’t good enough for some folks. Thank you.
3
craig mclaughlin
// May 10, 2007 at 12:54 pm
“No point to that story really,…” Them’s the best kind. And oh, I liked how you worked in that compliance with EP’s bit.
4
djvc
// May 10, 2007 at 1:02 pm
Even telling a story across the internet airwaves you exude the fighter pilot’s calm-to-a-fault bravado. Amazingly cool…
“There I was doing 550 kias surrounded by $200 Million in American Foreign Policy and a little gasoline covered hamster just jumped up on the dash and lit himself on fire.
Things were about to get very exciting.”
The italics and the period could have been easily replaced with caps and an exclamation point, but that would have indicated something a bit less cool.
These stories are the best, thanks!
5
badbob
// May 10, 2007 at 1:11 pm
220 kts! Hell that’s a true shuttle approach! What an adventure, eh? A lightning bolt through the toothe one day and a hotseat the next!
BTW, I reckon that was one flight where you didn’t “Me? Let me tell ya, I’ve gunned a lot of Tomcats over the years” *. LOL.
B2
* I heard Lex proclaim that to the blogosphere last Saturday…did you? Gotta say Lex, I expected a Robert E. Lee drawl but I heard a fast talking Yankee.
Yep. Been lying in wait….nyuk-nyuk.
6
Curt
// May 10, 2007 at 1:20 pm
Of several sentences above, this was but one jewel and I’d not be a bit surprised it it transmogrified to replace “there I was…inverted…at 20,000 ft and only a huge watch to tell me the way home..” beginning to “aviator stories.”
Ah, the way you can express life n the cockpit puts perceived to be greater writers to shame…
7
Sean
// May 10, 2007 at 1:31 pm
You know, Charles Simonyi, the guy who wrote Microsoft word and just got back from his paid trip to the ISS flys around in his own F-5. You have too many close calls my friend! How many articles do you have in Approch?
8
lex
// May 10, 2007 at 1:59 pm
I think I’m just about out of Approach-type articles, Sean (and I only ever got two printed - I was too lazy to write much, back when I was scaring myself routinely).
BTW, did you dime me out to somebody from the LA NPR/PBS? I’ve got an email marked “URGENT!” in my home queue.
NPR - Great
9
doorkeeper
// May 10, 2007 at 2:00 pm
Lex, you have a brilliant future in writing. I’ll wait as patiently as I can. d
10
Michelle
// May 10, 2007 at 2:22 pm
Deborah
If you are looking for some more “sea stories” as Lex calls them, go to the right hand column, right down near the bottom of the page (likely just about right across from where you are reading now) to where you see the heading “Categories”. The majority of these stories can be found under “Tales of the Sea Service” and a few more under “Flying”. It will take you back into the archives and you will have to scroll back a bit but its DEFINITELY worth the stroll. For a while on Saturdays, Lex would just post some links back to older stories he had posted like this. To placate the masses, I guess. And I am pleased to report, it worked!
Seriously, its well worth a look around in the archives if you like these sort of stories. If you stil want more, at the very top of the page on the left hand side, there’s a heading for Pages. Under that you will see The Old Sod. Not as well indexed but also worth a look around. Good stuff.
One more thing, if you want an EXCELLENT read, click on the “Rhythms” link which is also under the Pages heading on the top left of the page. Its fiction, kind of… 24 hrs in the life of an aircraft carrier but according to Lex everything in the story actually happened, just not in one day. Will make you put down any other book you may be reading. No need to thank me, its the least I can do for a fellow Canuck LOL
Lex, I hope my cheque is in the mail. I could always be your publicist, no? I mean once you find a publisher and actually get yourself published!
11
lex
// May 10, 2007 at 2:45 pm
That was a rather strange but pleasing experience, having my mapwork laid out so plainly. You’re hired!
12
Ens Tim
// May 10, 2007 at 5:38 pm
Every time we go flying in the T6 we brief the “smoke and fume elimination” checklist , mostly after eating burritos for lunch.
*rimshot*
13
Deborah Aylward
// May 10, 2007 at 6:35 pm
Michelle: Thank you for all you help. Earlier this week I read all the posts in “Rhythms” and knew that it wasn’t fiction.
Lex: Not to make more of one’s posts (or reminiscences) over anyone else’s, but you do have a distinct gift. At times, it’s a bit…overwhelming with so many sites that I tend to get a little muddled…that’s the great thing, though, something new every day.
14
blackeagle603
// May 10, 2007 at 8:04 pm
Well told — even without the requisite seastory prefix (This is a true story! No xxxx!)
However, my A&P school instructors words still ring in my ears almost 30 years later…
Aircraft have instrument panels.
Oldsmobiles have dashboards.
Seriously though, it’s moments like those when you’re really glad that the Natops eval “find the breaker in the dark” drill and proper smoke elimination sequence has been ingrained by training.
My last E2-C flights were all PMCF’s from NARF SLEP. Just a lonely mushroom in back switching radios, playing firewatch, pulling appropriate breakers to test buss ties and enjoying the show as props were feathered and engines air restarted.
We had several opportunities to run through smoke evacation and isolate breakers drills for real. Gotta get the hatch sequence right in the E2 so as not to pull smoke fwd to cockpit. Most cases turned out to hydralic leaks. All cases generated a pretty good adrenaline buzz/afterglow.
15
John S
// May 10, 2007 at 8:07 pm
Everyone– STOP IT! Quit telling an airdale that he excels at anything. Their egos are sufficently stroked without further adoration. Don’t make him cry in his Guinness about not being able to flit about the skies (on our dime) gathering more fantasies, err TRUE stories of derring do with which to regale us. (Preferably perched near a bar where imbibable bribes will encourge elaboration upon the events.)
Even this old blackshoe likes the sea stories, and I may even believe a couple of them!
16
Casca
// May 10, 2007 at 8:57 pm
Some days you actually EARN that flight pay.
Caught one of my favorite McMurtry lines, lol. So, I’ll leave you some Kipling:
When Homer smote his bloomin’ lyre,
He’d heard men sing by land and sea,
And what he thought he might require,
He went and took, the same as me.
17
Sean
// May 11, 2007 at 6:36 am
Um, that might have been me, the guy was looking for San Diego talent and you’re the best speaker out of the bunch.
18
Buck
// May 11, 2007 at 8:10 am
“BTW, did you dime me out to somebody from the LA NPR/PBS? I?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢ve got an email marked ?¢‚Ǩ?ìURGENT!?¢‚Ǩ¬ù in my home queue.
NPR - Great”
Keep us in the loop on that one, Cap’n, please. Especially if there might happen to be a podcast associated with what sounds like a prospective “interview”… for us’ns not privileged enough to live in Sunny SoCal…
19
Nose
// May 11, 2007 at 10:20 am
You go on NPR that’s like collaborating (sp?) with the enemy!
I flew with a USAF guy the other day. He had a really great story about the time one of the crews in his squadron went C2 for readiness just before an OPEVAL or somesuch. Well, they apparently had quite a meeting about this - he regaled me with the story of this meeting with the DO and another guy and how they hashed it all out. Whoooo Hoooo! What a humdinger!
Oh, and your story about being NORDO, without power, and on fire was okay, too.
Nose
20
lex
// May 11, 2007 at 10:33 am
Casca - I was told that we always earned the flight pay, it was the base pay that was in question
21
Yankee Sailor
// May 11, 2007 at 11:11 pm
So, what’s the big deal???? I had this happen to me once. Sort of. So what if it was in an ‘82 Dodge Omni?
Okay, okay, not quite the same….
22 Chapomatic » Improving The Conversation // May 18, 2007 at 8:04 pm
[...] of the world. I’ve also liked things like Lex’s insights into himself (not so much the sea stories–which are also good but different, like–as the other stories), but people who [...]
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