There used to be a story going around in Navy circles – probably apocryphal – that when the Air Force built a base, they built the housing facilities, commisary and golf course first. That way, if money ran short in future budgets – or worse yet, ran out – Congress would have to appropriate some more: Without an airfield, the whole project would have been a waste.
I don’t really think that’s true. But it is instructive that we’d listen to it, nodding. Seemed possible.
What was not not in dispute was the fact that of the all the armed services, the USAF treated their people best – the “quality of life” programs (QOL for short) were simply top notch, as were the facilities. You could feel like quite the king of the universe in your FA-18 at 30,000 feet, but once you landed at an Air Force base, the feeling was one of country cousins come to town, and mind your manners.
Maybe your standards of comfort change based on what you get used to: If you’re accustomed to exposed piping, tubing and electrical wiring running through the overheads and passageways, bells and alarms going off day and night, drinking water that smells like jet fuel, milk that comes in little boxes (and comes out of those boxes in clumps), something brown on rice three to four times a week for supper, a laundry “service” seemingly dedicated to the passionate mutilation of whatever articles of clothing could not be lost outright, spending many months at a time in a dangerous industrial environment that included tremendous forces acting in noisy and consequential opposition to each other just over your head while in close proximity to five thousand people (at least five hundred of whom you might not normally choose to associate with) who in turn are watching five-year old B-movies that you none of you would have watched on a bet for entertainment ashore, interspersed with all-too-infrequent runs on the beach for liberty in fly-speck dustholes, only to return home on the last launch with a 19-year old throwing up on your shoes, well: The Howard Johnson’s can feel downright luxurious.
You can’t drown. And they’ve got cable.
First time I ran up to Wright-Patterson AFB in Ohio on a cross country I parked the jet on the transient line, pulled off my harness and g-suit and hung them on the wing tip-tank with my helmet before walking over to base ops to check on the weather and verify that they had my further flight plan on file.
I hadn’t gotten more than a few steps away from the jet when a big, blue van pulled up and screeched to a halt beside me. “Where to?” the driver asked, and when I replied “Base ops,” he thumbed me into the back.
Good thing, I thought to myself – I’d have walked over to that building over there, 50 yards away. Thought that was base ops. Would’ve felt foolish.
About 10 seconds and 45 yards later he dropped me off at the entrance to base ops.
Now let me just state for the record that 50 yards or 500, if you park on a Navy base and expect a van to come pick you up and carry you to base ops and you will grow old, wither and die right where you are standing. We don’t do that.
Don’t get me started on the wood paneling at the O’Club.
Which is why I read this article with a certain wry amusement:
Defense officials are refereeing a control-and-culture clash between the Air Force and its sister services over a requirement to create 12 “joint bases” out of 25.
The 25 bases, it seems, already are run by their favorite service
(T)he Air Force, which for decades has spent more proportionally on quality-of-life programs and facilities, is wringing its hands and, critics contend, dragging its feet over the prospect of giving the Navy control of Hickam Air Force Base in Hawai’i, Bolling Air Force Base near Washington D.C., and Andersen Air Force Base on Guam…
Air Force officials argue that their bases alone are “fighting platforms” for their aircraft and thus must be maintained in top form as the Navy strives to maintain its ships and the Army and Marine Corps sustain deployed ground forces…
Rep. Jim Saxton, R-N.J., a joint-basing advocate, is losing patience with the Air Force and warns that Congress might have to intervene. Saxton pressed William C. Anderson, an assistant secretary of the Air Force, to explain his service’s resistance to joint basing during a recent hearing of the House armed services subcommittee on readiness.
The Air Force supports joint basing and knows it can produce efficiencies, Anderson said. But it wants joint basing tested first at two or three sites.
And I’m guessing the base at Hickam – a “crown jewel of the Pacific”, and hard by the much dowdier Naval Base Pearl Harbor – is probably not one of their preferred first candidates for testing purposes. If only for the golf course alone.
Every time I mentioned to an Air Force officer that it seemed just possible that they were being profligate with the national fisc, what with all the bells and whistles that were in it on base, he’d reply that is wasn’t his fault that the Navy had to buy ships. Ships were expensive.
Which, while that was undeniably true, didn’t quite seem to answer the objection: After all, it wasn’t like we got loaded on a three-day bender in Vegas and blew all of our money on a bunch of aircraft carriers before waking up sheepish with a CVN ring on our finger. We are the Navy, after all. Ships are what we do.
And airfields in Oahu, it soon seems.
So: Welcome aboard, shipmates! Officer’s Call at 0700, quarters at 0715, breakfast at 0730 and don’t be late, because cleaning stations are at 0800 – mops and foxtails are in the ready service locker. GQ is at 1000 (don’t forget your MOPP gear), lunch at 1200, sweepers at 1400 and liberty call at 1630 for all personnel not actually on watch.
Like you’re going to be.
Someone has forgotten Barbers Point, I see…. how many years ago did it close (I know it was scheduled) and what did they do with the P-3s and the Coast Guard HH-65s and C-130s (both of which I had the opportunity to hitchhike rides on).
The revered late John Ditto, USMC, once mentioned to me after we had returned from a hop that you could eat a sandwich up in the hell hole of an Air Force jet but that our fighters always looked like they had been through a train wreck….and we looked even worse.
10 seconds and 45 yards later? That was not even enough time to get the feeling back in your cheeks!
Oh yes…..
The AF has to have the most well-padded MWR account in the country. I remember pulling into Ramstein one day with my crew (P-3B). We’d had to drop a couple admirals off for some NATO conference, and had a couple days all to ourselves.
And yes… the blue van pulled up just like Lex said. We hopped in and found ourselves at the Transient Aircrew Quarters. It was like checking into the Holiday Inn. Looked just like one too, the only thing missing was the mini-bar. They did, however, have a fridge in each room, and an ice machine down the hall.
Several of us headed over to the NCO club for a couple of beers. We were told by the concierge, er, front desk duty staff, to hang tight, that a van would be over to pick us up in a couple minutes. OOOkkkkaaayyyy.
Well, we were dropped off in front of the NCO club and stepped inside to what seemed like a cross between Studio 54 & Chez Bling. The palace, er, place was gorgious. They had friggin’ red velvet ropes around the table areas, with actual waiters with shirts and ties..
We thought perchance we had stumbled into the O club, but no… I can only IMAGINE how well appointed the O club was if this was the NCO club.
To top it off, there were women in dresses everywhere, and the stage… yup, stage… had a runway off’n it and there was a fashion show in progress. Unbelievable.
There we stood, like hillbilly bikers in our zoom bags, leather jackets and shades, with the bar tender looking very unaproovingly at us.
Took some time to explain that yes, despite the beards, shades and leather jackets, we WERE military, Navy to be precise, and, please good sir, might we have some shots and beers?
I guess they took pity on us cause they gave a table in the corner to us and let us drink. But it was some sight to behold. You can’t imagine what the dining hall was like….
I imagine Heaven to be much as well-appointed as that NCO club.
Respects,
At least there was an O Club. Went to Ft. Campbell to see my daughter when her Army husband was on training and I wanted to take her to the O Club for Sunday Brunch, but there’s no O CLUB on that base — oops, sorry — POST.
Drove me crazy. I kept saying they HAVE to have a club — of some kind, don’t they? Nope. No clubs at all there. It was sad.
(Needless to say, I still don’t get how the pieces fit the whole of the 101st Airborne. Way too confusing for a Navy wife…)
You neglected the whole topic of “crew rest” but then again that’s worthy of a post in itself. Whole different world they live in.
I’m suprised the Air Force agreed to some of these mergers. I’m also shocked to see the Marines get to manage Ft Myer-seems to me there are big cultural differences there.
Hickam is a nice base, and if CNI gets their hooks in it they will just screw it up-like they have elsewhere. Regionalization is one of the biggest mistakes the Navy ever made IMHO. I’ll be there come Friday-again. So I will check it out.
There is a certain justice to this though. For the last few years the USAF folks at Hickam have been total a##holes about letting Navy Aircraft-and airlift aircraft in particular- land and use their T-line space. Which when you see the obscene amount of real estate they own is just unbelievable. PACOM even had to get involved and thump PACAF back into line.
Payback time.
Sgt Jeff,
I was at Barbers Point until the end (1999). Short answer: the P-3 Wing & her squadrons VP-4, 9 and 47 along with HSL-37 all moved over to MCBH Kaneohe. VP sailors and Marines; and if you think a Navy base is shabby! The Coast Guard stayed put, and who wouldn’t love an office accross the street from the beach. You can see the CGAS clearly on Google Earth.
Barbers was a great base, I went through the last CPO inititation (NOT transition) there, Confirmed in the base chapel (where my kids made their first communion), had my last Helo joyride there…
I lived in Iroquois Point housing, and when the wind was right you could hear music from the Hickam O Club wafting accross the channel.
Anderson could be a nice little second round draft pick as well. Best beach on Guam, nice facilities, good diving. Beats Gab Gab beach any day and twice on Sunday. Now, if they can only get rid of all them zoomies…
Lex,
Your PIREP is outdated. Facilities at Hickam are some of the worst in the AF. PACAF building is a historical landmark and hasn’t had updates since just after WWII–looks and feels like the Puzzle Palace.
As for golf the base course, Mamala Bay, is on the water but the greens/fairways can’t compare to the newly re-done Navy/Marine Corps course. If you really want to experience golf along the Pacific you’d be much better off hitting the Kaneohe Bay Marine course.
Hickam’s gym, commissary, MED group are all run-down. Schofield Barracks’ gym and bowling lanes are much better than the AF’s at Hickam. Likewise, the Hickam BX and Commissary look 3rd world compared to the Navy Exchange and Commissary just off-base.
The Army’s Schofield Barracks’ will have some of the best facilities on the island soon. Already new housing has gone up and their new PX is going to be better than Hickam’s but not quite as nice as the Navy’s BX when it’s completed in a few months.
Barbers Point still has a USCG presence but the old dorms now house homeless people for affordable housing. After dark..not safe. Overall, this base and its facilities have taken a turn for the worst. Its no longer a secured access and the public is allowed on-base.
Overall, I agree with your quality of life assessment that the AF is much better at that than our sister-services, but Hickam is NOT an example of it.
Cheers.
Patrick
I guess its all relative. From a Navy standpoint Hickam is still pretty nice. From a USAF standpoint Hickam is run down.
I do agree that Navy Marine Golf course is pretty good now and Kanehoe is better than Hickam. Drinking beer and eating wings at Sam Sneads is always on my “to do” list. However Hickam is still pretty good.
Guess it all depends on where you have come from. I spent to long packed into the BOQ on the hill at Roosy Roads to complain much about Hickam.
Now if it were just about 12 miles closer to Waikiki…………….That would be nice and save me a hell of a lot of money in taxi fares.
LTC Patrick is dead on with regard to this one. Nothing outshines the NEX at Pearl nor the golf course at KBay. And the new housing at Schofield Barracks is awesome (though not worth our full BAH compared to what I can get for less off post).
However, having been to Elmendorf AFB/Fort Richardson on many occasions and experienced the differences between Fort Wainwright and Eielson AFB (both up in Alaska), I can say that the Air Force is, hands down, the subject matter expert on Quality of Life.
And, it is my understanding that the AF does, in fact, build QOL facilities first and then come back and beg for money to build their runways. Smart on their part.
Being something more culturally distant than a country cousin, one is almost speechless. You grandees deserve each other. It’s hard not to feel sorry for the AF though. Sailors will turn the place into a trailor park overnight.
Where’s the enlisted aircrew perspective on this? Both Hickam and K-bay are pits and we used to pray for non-availability stamps so we could get rooms in town and avoid the Q at Hickam and the third-world crack den that was laughably passed off as quarters at Kaneohe. Pearl’s transient quarters were pretty nice, but we’d pray for non-A’s all the same. Also, good luck getting a parking spot that isn’t out in the sticks at Hickam. Especially when your bird breaks and all the facilities and gear you need are unavailable due to interservice pissing contests, meaning that the rescue bird has to carry that much more crap from Okinawa.
But Hickam does have that really coolly weird-looking control tower.
My hypothesis about Schofield, is that in preserving the historic Dec.7th bullet holes they also preserved every other bit of damage and decay that’s happened, since. But I have a bad cynical attitude about these things.
Bwahahahaha.
Can I say that again?
Bwahahahaha.
I guess what goes around comes around.
Mrs. Subsunk was driving to the Hickam O’Club to be with the rest of our WestPac Widows one night in the vehicle which someone, who shall remain nameless but was obviously deployed, forgot to get re-registered. Her/My/Our vehicle registration had expired.
The base cop pulled her over and was about to chastise her for failing to accomplish said registration, despite her almost breaking out in tears when he asked her, “Ma’am, is your husband in the Navy?”
“Yes”
“Is he in submarines?”
“Yes”
“Have a nice evening and drive safely, ma’am.”
And he pulled away, leaving her convinced, despite the fact that her father had been in the Air Force for 23 years, that only the Air Force was civilized and the Navy was populated by cavemariners totally sans manners and compassion.
Now I guess the last bastion of civilized conduct in Hawaii will be destined to be run by cavemariners.
I’ve got to laugh again.
Bwahahahaha.
Subsunk out.
Cap’n,
Two small points:
1. The Air Farce does, indeed, construct their bases in the very same order you show. However, the reason why Congress approves money for the runway is so the Congresscritters can get to the location of their latest ‘fact finding mission’ faster.
2. Any branch of the service that permits its personnel to complete their PFTs by WALKING 1 mile needs a serious trip to reality.
CAPT-
I hope that the AF, while kicking up their ruckus, is not complaining too loudly about Bolling, despite your listing of it.
The only thing left on Bolling, if memory serves, is some administrivia buildings, some substandard (in the rest of the world, ok by DC standards) housing, and the DIA. If they are using energy to fight about that, the mind boggles. Nothing flies out of there anymore, except for the occasional helo, so calling it a “fighting platform” is laughable.
Of course, that raises the question of why even bother making it a joint base at all – just give it to Anacostia, it really isn’t worth the trouble.
Web Reconnaissance for 05/16/2007…
A short recon of what?ǂ
Thunder Run is a web leech.
Web Reconnaissance for 05/16/2007…
A short recon of whats out there that might draw your attention….
Geez, what’s with all the grousing about my Air Force? Your town only have one recruiter??
Oh, don’t get me wrong – I love the Air Force. Second best group of aviators I know! I almost joined actually – had a ticket to USAFA months before Navy gave me a thumb’s up.
I just really, really, you know: Wanted to be in the military, instead.
Note to P-3 wife:
clubs on pretty much all Army posts have largely died, mainly for one simple reason: when you limit access to the post to folks with DoD stickers, it means there won’t be any women in the E/NCO/O clubs. And one of the things Joe is looking for when he goes out to have fun is women.
Another thing that helped to kill the clubs is the large-scale demise of on-post housing for single officers and senior NCOs, who now live mainly off post, thus taking away a large chunk of the customer base for those clubs, especially when combined with the crackdown on DUIs.
The only Army posts I’ve been to that still retain their O clubs were TRADOC posts, where young officers transtioning through for schooling are required to join while there, same as I was at Ft Benning a decade ago.
When I was at Schofield in the late 80s the Army Times ran a poll of it’s readers on the best and worst Army posts.
Ft. Polk, LA, naturally enough, came in dead last. But one comment about Schofield shone through, “A third rate post in a third world country.”
Oddly enough things started improving on Schofield very shortly thereafter.
What was wrong with Ft. Polk? I think a training flick filmed there about inadequate rest said it best: “After getting off duty Jack and Bill went down the road 90 miles to their favorite bar…”
SGT Jeff ~ ?
SGT Jeff ~ “A third rate post in a third world country.” So very true on so many levels. There’s a reason this place is a vacation destination.
From a ‘shoe: Remind me again, just how many golf courses are there at NAS Oceana?
And don’t even get me started about “crew rest.” How many ‘shoes were there watching the movie in the Wardroom? (Besides the Ensign assigned to make pop corn and change reels)
Please Kind Sirs…if you have a spare base or two can you give them to the Royal Air Force? I have two RAF bases nearby and the accommodation would bring tearful memories back to anyone who fought in the Battle of Britain. Even the graffiti has remained the same!
PigBoatSailors got it right about Bolling, they don’t even have runways anymore, too close to Reagan National. I stayed there with a group of Civil Air Patrol cadets last spring, and it was pretty interesting watching the airliners fly over the Potomac and then roll hard left to land across the river.
They are the home of the U.S. Air Force Honor Guard and the U.S. Air Force Band, so maybe they would put up a fight.
I missed the AF bash? Shoot, dam work…
re- Casca’s “Sailors TrailER park”
It’s hard for the other services to reach that lofty status of the “Miracle Mile” of nasty strip joints, fast food and more pawn shops per sq mile than anywhere in the world that is outside the gates at Camp Lejuene and New River..LOL.
b2
Well shit Bob, we can’t help it that we like girls. Nice rhetorical trick, but totally off topic. Marines run the base. Rednecks run everything outside the gate.
Thanx for the spellcheck too. I Gnu u had 2b good 4 something.
Does not the stretch in front of Ft Bragg give the on in front of Lejune a run for its money?
“Happier than a tornado in a trailer park!”
Well Casca I figured trailor rhymed w/sailor, not “rustpicker”!
I’ll admit the Miracle Mile is off base as are most trailer parks where young Sailors, Airmen, Marines and Soldiers often have to live due to da pay.
OBTW, you did mean mean redneck “ex-Marines” own them joints, dontcha?
Am I wearing on ya yet? Good.
b2