One of the thorns in the side of any stateside carrier operating close to home is the “distinguished visitor” program. “DV’s” can be just about anybody with an interest in visiting an aircraft carrier at sea and who might plausibly be relied upon to share their – undoubtedly favorable – experiences back home. We get movie stars and professional athletes, captains of industry and Rotarians.
Today I had school teachers.
They come through our headquarters on the way out to the ship for their 24-hour stay, and if the Big Boss is too busy to brief them (he usually is) the needle comes to rest on one of his sixth-rank spear carriers of the seventh cohort. This time it came to rest on me.
The DV’s can be pains in the neck at times. Flight times are kept low to minimize the chow re-visit factor, constraining the ship’s maneuvering to a 100 nautical mile feasibility arc until the COD arrives. Once aboard they are nearly hopeless, the poor dears. Mere landsmen and no sailors, they are forever stumbling across power cords and across foul lines, climbing ladders so painfully that it seems like they’re only half way through a high colonic, blocking the passageway while staring blankly at compartment diagrams in the vain hope of figuring out where in hell they are, and how to get to the wardroom. Come chow time they will be sitting around a table thirty minutes after having dined, oblivious to the aircrew standing around the margins, holding their plates in hand and hoping to finish before heading up to the roof to provide the evening’s entertainment. After a few cups of coffee they’ll talk themselves into hanging stern end out of the freezer while digging up all the good ice cream. Because it’s free.
But in another way, in a very real way, they are a blessing. Not only are these the tax payers in person, and the reason for all of it – our infrastructure, ships, aircraft, weapons systems and yes, paychecks – but they are infallibly and gratifyingly amazed at what they see out there. The complexity of a system of 5000 people and high tech machinery communally wedded to accomplishing an exceedingly difficult thing exceptionally well. The noise of a fighter screaming on the catapult in afterburner before shooting down the track wreathed in steam – a sound that hits you not so much in your ears or even in your head so much as body slams you in your rib cage. The collossal war of forces counterposed in trembling opposition as a jet touches down in the landing area, hook thumping the deck and then the arresting wire paying out to restrain it like a beast trapped in a snare, the engines shrieking for release. Feeding 5000 people in an hour’s time, four times a day.
They will routinely be astonished at the average age of responsible young people on the flight deck – some of whom they may have taught in school only a year or so ago. Some of whom they might have shaken their heads over in academic despair. Seeing them tall and strong and professionally responsible for the lives of their shipmates, for the life of the young lieutenant there in the cockpit, for the safety of a multi-million dollar machine. Heroes working long hours in arduous conditions for very little pay. As the sun goes down they will look out upon an apparently endless sea and know for perhaps the first time what it is to be alone in a throng, to be a small thing in a very large world. To sink the land behind them, the world of people, of buildings, dust and grime.
Being, if for only 24 hours, a part of it. There is wonder in it.
Which is good for us, because people can and do get used to just about anything after a while. You can get used to long lines for chow, old movies, hard work, boredom in the face of danger, even exhaustion. Just as you can get used to the idea of a huge ship moving purposefully through the sea, casting airplanes into the sky and recovering them again. When the DVs see these things, when their eyes go round in amazement, when they blurt out almost disbelieving questions, we see it through their eyes. We see their wonder and yes – we see their pride. We see ourselves, however briefly, as they see us. It is a kind of blessing.
Today it was school teachers and administrators. Tomorrow?
Tomorrow it’s the offensive line from the San Diego Chargers.
Should be fun.
The Chargers offensive line?
Is the COD rated for that much weight? Oughta be fun watching them go up ladders and through hatches… at least they’ve got a month or so for their “barked” shins to heal in.
A friend of mine is an NROTC middy down there in Dago this summer for his “week of this, week of that” familiarization time. He may very well be on that carrier.
Lex
I would “kill” to be one of those DVs. Promise to get my butt out of the chair quickly at chow time and try not to block the passageways or the freezer. And to be suitably awestruck on the flight deck. In fact, you might just have trouble peeling me off of it.
So what’s up with that?
Although I’ve always loved to fly, in the past year, I seem to have become a naval aviation junkie
How can the “Lex Babes” get on one of these trips?
Lex,
I am constantly amazed by the men and women we have in our armed forces. That there are men and women who are closer to half my age than I would like to believe doing things, and responsible for things that I can only imagine is a constant source of amazement.
Jim C
Hey, look at you,hanging with the big boys!
I used to love to give tours to the USAF guys. We would take them up to Vulter’s Row and let them gawk at flight ops. Some of them never quite got the concept of Cyclic Ops, they thought all the flights were just 15-30 minutes long.
My favorite question ever was from a USAF AWACS controller who asked what the black things (de-icing boots) on the front of the E-2C’s wings were for. I told him they were bumpers for pushing the jets out of the way when we taxi to the Cat.
Another thing that always amazed me was how people would wrap their video cameras in tinfoil, like it would actually protect the camera from the radars. I think it was more likely to focus that energy right in to the middle of the thing.
DV’s on a SSN or an old SSBN are even more of a pain in the a–. Think about how to feed 25 extra visitors in a wardroom that only seats 10, and you get the idea. But Lex, you are right about the sense of appreciation they come away with. In the long run it makes it worthwhile.
I was fortunate to spend four days on the Saratoga while underway and doing carquals prior to deployment. I was not a DV, rather, a simple yardbird sent out to do a highly technical job that Uncle Sugar needed done smartly. I will firmly state, that after watching flight ups from Vultures Row, that I will never cease to look upon a carrier without amazed at the system of ship and sailors. I doubt anyone who has not actually been aboard can truly appreciate this amazing system.
When Husband was on the Ranger, it was sent to Bremerton for refurbishment (or whatever) and the kids and I finally got to see it in person. I had gotten the PAO packet about the ship and all the info for being in Sandy Eggo, but I was in Idaho and it didn’t help at all. Of course, we just missed meeting up with Husband for a tour with him. The info packet said there were 8000 men (men only back then) on the ship with the air crew included. That was as many as lived in our county!
I was unable to imagine all those people crowded on that ship even after seeing it in person. I was lost the whole tour — no idea which deck, fore or aft — the whole time. Just took it on faith that someone knew where we were going.
Do I remember it right? Were there 8000 on the ship?
The funny part, our next door neighbor’s grandson was on one of the Merchant Marine ships supporting the Ranger when in was in the IO at the time — 1983-84. The Ranger was supposed to go to Austrailia and Hong Kong, but Iran did something (can’t remember now what) and they spent the entire cruise in the IO. Set a record then for number of days at sea without hitting a port. He sent strange presents from the Phillippines, though.
Love the Navy and dissassociated tours. Made sense to me with a pilot shortage and all.
Maybe you can send a comm out to the ship for them to lock up the ice cream, or y’all ain’t gonna have any left.
Ahh, to whom do I need to suck up, and how much, and in what way, to get meself invited upon a Tiger Cruise.
I draw the line at sexual slavery, except maybe if the officer who has to approve me is a female, about 25 years old, cheerful and, uh, “friendly” in a nasty way.
Very, very very unlikely, of course.
But hey, there’s hope! The statistical laws of thermodynamics don’t forbid that all of the water molecules in a glass of water will suddenly jump straight up and out of the glass together, it’s just very very very unllikely.
Sigh
P-3W,
I was on the SARATOGA and the INDEPENDENCE, sister boats of the Ranger and 5500 – 6000 (including the air wing) is more like it.
It just felt like 8000 sometimes…
Babs – ah yes, I think the Lex Babes deserve to be DVs for a day or so. But only if our humble host here is our tour guide.
P-3W,
You talked about Ranger and said “it” went in for refurbishment.
I’m sure you meant “she.”
Common mistake for wife of a P-3 Landlubber.
N
PS Yak, I cruised on Sara back in the old days when we had a “balanced” air wing. Think the total was about 4700.
Had the pleasure of going on a Tiger Cruise aboard the USS Vincennes [CG-49] that departed Pearl Harbor on December 8, 1991. I arrived just in time [the 7th] to be at the USS Arizona Memorial to see the grand ceremonies with all the top Navy Brass aboard. Step-Grandfather was a CW05 and on his last cruise [so he thought!] so I got the nod to make the Tiger Cruise.
He was holed up in the Commodore’s Stateroom in Flag Country on the boat because of the whole ‘Last Cruise’ thing mentioned earlier, so i got to see a ‘different’ side of the Navy, with a private bathroom/shower, bedroom separate from a den area, complete with TV and a Beta [???] VCR.
Spent a week hunting things like ‘Relative Bearing Grease’ and hunting snipes down in the Engineering spaces, and also filling out a 3″ thick stack of papers that had me running all over the ship doing various tasks, down in the CIC spaces shooting simulated missiles, killing sea skimming missiles with the CWIS, donning breathing units with cannisters that choke you with smoke before giving you oxygen, and hanging out on the bridge conning the boat on course and talking to the sailors on watch. Got to eat in the Officer’s wardroom and thought that the food was way above par, despite what I heard to the contrary.
All in all it was the time of my life at that point in my life. Only disappointment was pulling into San Diego, and the fact that the Kitty Hawk Battle Group didn’t make the transit for one reason or another. We made the cruise all by our lonesome to the disappointment of quite a few people.
If you can, go on a Tiger Cruise!
Ahh, to whom do I need to suck up, and how much, and in what way, to get meself invited upon a Tiger Cruise.
Ditto.
Lex, you’re killin’ me!
And djvc, you’re not helping things much!
Bestest DV ever: Payne Stewart. Cool as can be. Blew off a meeting with some O-6 mucky-muck because he was down on the mess decks hanging out with the sailors.
Worstest DV ever:
Joan Lunden (Good Morning America) on Eisenhower. Typical TV fake person. Followed by 6-7 of her own people all day telling her what a great job she was doing. To my knowledge, never spent any time with the sailors.
Funniest DV ever: Chuck Barris, Gong Show host. We laughed our butts off at his jokes.
N
Never did get a DV, on the Good Ship Badger, But got to do the Burial at Sea evolution,4 times, out of Pearl Harbor.
djvc said “If you can, go on a Tiger Cruise!”
I can tell you my late father/Grandpa (he adopted us kids) had just the time of his life on a Pearl to Alameda Tiger Cruise aboard CGN-36 circa 1985. That pile of papers was a “qual card” used to give the Tigers a well-rounded tour.
He witnessed a rigorous berthing inspection of my division’s (RL) spaces performed by the CMC. Grandpa called the CMC an “nice boy” but said he was hard on us. (Grandpa was born in 1915).
He also loved the food, you know, the food brought on in Hawaii for a one week cruise to treat the Tigers– steak, crab legs, etc.
Grandpa would confirm djvc’s assertion.
My first thought was that of Sgt Jeff’s, trying to picture those linemen getting through the hatches. Too bad there isn’t video… wow.
I’m sure the good Cap’n can get some video of the visit.
Had some “DV’s” visit my last ship in early 2001. Chargers they were. As it was, I had the watch in CCS so’s my guys/gals could dress up in the Dress Canvas to stand by topsides looking good (that’s what being the SCPO of ENG DEPT can get you… cool, right?). So there I am in CCS, aux steaming, monitoring a myriad of complexities that are a modern Navy Destroyer, you know, easy right? In walks a “DV”, with an entourage of hangers on the likes of which would make Marky Mark envious. After splainin’ what went on, what we did, how we did it, the DV commented on how “easy” it seemed. Yeah, not like say being responsible for the “Long Snap” in a NFL game. David Binn was his name, went on to some fame with a famous actress lifeguard from what I heard. No matter, surely, hucking a ball from between your legs 10 yards into the waiting hands of some dude who kicks it, is FAR MORE DIFFICULT than operating a 110,000 HP twin screw Engineering plant. Taxpayers indeed, I pay too! And I’m a Chargers fan. Just not a fan of self-centered buffoons…
Nose,
Beg pardon — of course she’s a she! (How could I forget??)
Our son didn’t get to go on the Tiger cruise on the way back from Hawaii — just too far from Idaho to get there alone and he was too young as a kindergartener, and NO WAY he could go if I couldn’t anyway. (Back then it was male relatives only.)
You know, I missed the tour with Husband on the Ranger and I never got a tour of a P-3 until after he retired. Hmm. I may need to have a discussion with him …
Lex,
You’re missing one of the 5 W’s, WHAT carrier is it?! Reagan is tied up covered in Saran Wrap ™, and Nimitz is over in the Gulf keeping the Persians awake at night (14 days until 300 is out on DVD). I saw a carrier anchored out in the Roads on Saturday, but it hasn’t come into North Island (that I know of).
/BeachBum
Dang, Lex, if there’s anybody who deserves a Tiger Cruise, it’s the Fuzzybear!
(Actually, she should get aboard as a DV, what with ValourIT, and all!)
With sideboys.
Nose,
Timeframe for the Sara Maru? And you’re probably right – just under 5000 sounds about right way back then (1978 – 1980. Although, I’m pretty sure the Indy was around 5400 -5500 when I was aboard (1992 – 1994).
Entering the Way Back Machine tends to jam the old rememberer, however.
Beachbum,
I noticed on the SandyEggo web cam that the Lincoln is in port. Maybe she’s the one. Not sure where she came from though.
Spent a very long OSW cruise on Nimitz – As a sonarman, never thought I’d have to do that – Embarked DESRON, standing ASWC watch in Flag plot, with the Flag COS at sea Cabin housing every unloved DV due to the paper-thin bulkhead between the two, festooned with all radio circuits available to the warfare commander. Connie Chung visited us daily, just to see what we did, but alas, the ballet on the roof was far more entertaining (actually looped the soundtrack to top gun out on the flag bridge for the DV’s!). The kicker was when we were asked (ordered by the CCG ops) to turn the speakers off during a screen-ex, so as not to disturb the good journalist. Funny sight seeing 5 Desron watchstanders trying to whisper ATP-1 commands over the tactical maneuvering nets, and writing data chits in grease pencil to the person 1 foot away from you…
Now those were fun times!
Ditto me for sucking up on a Tiger cruise.
Jtg,
While your advocacy is appreciated, were we to start discussing “deserving” as a criterion in this context, I would soon find myself on shaky ground, as I would be standing at the back of a long line of those in my acquaintance (RPL being one case in point)!
Fbl: While I appreciate your compliment, what I said at the Soldiers Angels breakfast at the Milblogger conference stands: In an organization full of extraordinary women, I’m just an ordinary guy. It is I who am in awe of you.
Thanks for the kind words, though. It’s always nice to get a compliment from a lady.
Surely if there is room for the San Diego Chargers offensive line, there is room for the “Lex babes” and RPL. And, Lex, if you can make the arrangements, I’d love to tag along. Fbl can vouch for the fact that I don’t take up a whole lot of space.
Lex,
I assume it’s the CarQual carrier this week.
If so, you just may be waved aboard by my son who is one of the VAQ-129 LSO’s. Hope he does a good job.
Dave
Very interesting. I wonder how teachers get picked for something like this. Is there some sort of nationwide contest, or do particular schools go, or what?
Mark
When were you on Nimitz? I was on from ’80-’84.
Rich Cook
fbl,
So you want to be a dv and get an official tour, or better yet, a Tiger Cruise?
Foolproof gouge (gratis)-
First, join your local Chamber of Commerce or Navy League, then, after you’ve been thar awhile, have them submit you as a candidate. I’m sure Lex can grease the rest at the Naval Aviation “DarkStar” building.
re DVs at sea- Common Commander Strike Group “Order of Battle” (to do list):
1- Anyone in Navy Times today?
2- DV warfare- who, when, where?
3- Tankers? Where how many, what time?
4- Naval Warfare- what’s happening in red-yellow-green? How many JDAMs?
‘Sqwe-eat!
b2
Nice gouge on the DV’s b2! You just have to know what wheel to ‘grease’!
‘Sqwe-eat!
I’m laughing pretty hard right now. Haven’t heard that in a few…
Thanks, Bob
N
‘Sqwe-eat’
Oh lord.
Now I feel really old.
So Cap’n how did the Chargers visit go?
Rich – rode the ole girl from 91-94 off and on as the ASWC/ASUWC staff
Mark