So, my roommate was ashore in Oman, living with Brit expats for a time back in the days that were when we were off shore doing some of that good old fashioned training. They had some lovely bombing ranges in Oman, places you could fly low, pop up and deliver high drag ordnance that would leave an actual mark when it was all said and done. Live MK82 Snakeyes, if it do ya fine. Twenty millimeter high explosive cannon fire, too. Made a lovely little scintillation on the turf.
Good clean fun.
The Brits who lived there were something between advisers and mercenaries for the sultanate. They flew with the local crews in Hunters and Jags, and got right down in the weeds, by God. I mean low. Thinking it was safe down there from the missiles we carried. Mostly we smiled and nodded. Politely. Knowing we were looking at dead men, if push came to shove.
Nice knowing you.
My roomie went with one of their forward air controllers to the range for to control the USN attack jets coming to deliver their heavies. On day one I led a two-ship into the target and we took it kinda gentle, like. Feeling our way along. Because when it comes to live ordnance it’s not a bad idea to be careful at first. Make sure you’ve figured it out. Don’t kill anyone that doesn’t deserve it.
That sort of thing.
Our sister squadron came in bringing the heat, running in low and fast and veering and jinking all over the place. Being tactical. My roomie critiqued us a bit going off target. Said that Brand X was making us look bad in the face of the Old Empire types. Letting the side down.
Something of a disgrace.
The next day, having familiarized ourselves with the local flora and fauna, we ramped our game up a bit. We ran in low and hot, veered and jinked, chaff and flares. Bombs off on target, on time. But so did Brand X. So much so that a junior wingman got a bit carried away and – skipping the mandatory clearance from the FAC prior to delivering his ordnance – laid a stick of high drag bombs pretty much on top of the FAC position.
Funny thing about high drag ordnance. You get a really good look at the delivery platform. You get to see the bomb come off the rails. If you’ve got sharp eyes, you even get to see the retard fins deploy. At that point if the bombs are coming your way? You’ve got about five seconds to live.
Unless, of course, you’re a British mercenary more or less used to people flinging bombs at you all regardless. In that case, you turn to my roommate and say, “Good luck, mate,” before jumping into the fighting hole specifically dug for the purpose.
Roomie got lucky that day because Brand X dropped the bomb out of parameters and it dudded, landing about 40 feet in front of him. That’s pretty damned close for a five hundred pound bomb. It can make a man pondersome.
After that?
Roomie didn’t much give us a hard time anymore about crawling before we walked, walking before we ran.
Clever man, that roomie.
Trainable.
Lex – Looking at the photo of the bomb release of the Snakeyes, and noting it is a Marine jet, a question occurred to me: Are you a fan of the writing of Stephen Coontz (“Flight of the Intruder” et al.)? And if so, did you read his book where Jake Grafton and friends are talking about his assignment to fly with the Marines and all the ribbing that he got about how their equipment just didn’t quite come up to par? Any stories along those lines??
Considering the frag pattern of a Mk82… I am speechless.
Now, that’s just retarded.
retarded bombs, that is.
Had there been smart bombs, now…
If I were President I would give Lex Jake Grafton’s job. Then Lex would say, “But that’s fiction , Sir, and so is this conversation!”
Lex – I don’t know what’s more enjoyable. The story as a whole, or the single sentences in between things:
Good clean fun.
Nice knowing you.
That sort of thing.
Something of a disgrace.
Clever man, that roomie.
Trainable.
And my favorite line of the day: “Twenty millimeter high explosive cannon fire, too. Made a lovely little scintillation on the turf.”
You do have a turn of phrase that is quite distinct…
Heh,
reminds me of Kipling:
“…with bullets kickin’ dust-spots on the green”.
Respects,
I hope your friend was wearing brown pants. Gotta keep up appearances! What are the odds of a MK 82 going dud 40 feet from a blue target?
the odds? zero for all practical purposes.
Lex,
Are the Mk-82’s in the photo, coming off the F-18, snakes? One looks like it has a parachute coming out the back, or is that the way they retard them these days?
New subject, the Marine F-18 is delivering at China Lake. If you look at the port vertical you can see the Vampires of VX-9 have zapped him.
Bill, those are ballutes rather than snakes – I couldn’t find any good pics of a Hornet dropping snakeyes, and I was hoping no one would notice the distinction on HD ordnance
As for the odds of dudding, they would have in fact have been impossibly remote for an in-parameters delivery. Fortunately, this particularly guy was more than just a little wrong and dropped the bombs too low for the fuze to arm.
New callsign perhaps?
What a close call! Sounds like a Grandpaw Petibone article!
Brown pants indeed… My guess is that his dry cleaner wasn’t at all pleased.
Jim C
Pettibone, hell! Worthy of an Original Dilbert cartoon!
To Sum: nothing says loving like the FAC in the birddog calling in nape and snake.
“Trainable.”
That makes all the difference in the world, don’t it? I’d keep him along just for his wisdom after that. And the good sea stories.
Have a great day, CAPT Lex.
Subsunk
re “Thinking it was safe down there from the missiles we carried.”
Cmon Lex. Just a “little” Hornet Hubris (h2). You can’t shoot what you can’t see.
40 feet? YGBSM. Whew! Did he start attending services on a regular basis after that? Got to be mid-late 80’s..funny I never saw a HAZREP or whatever we called those type incidents in those days on it..digging up ol’bones, eh? LOL.
Perspective from a not to generous memory:
I will remind all that the low level-retard delivery tactics poo-poohed in/about via the “Those Dinos were Dumb” crowd were the MAIN delivery tactics then. It seemed to us that the enemies we had, had more lethal weapons than AK-47/RPGs…so we thought. So we planned. Someday they’ll make a comeback I’ll wager…Sort o’funny that one of the main uses for fixed wing fighters now over the Iraq battlefield is a high speed-low altitude pass over the MujMFs..I truly wish they could get the fear o’Allah seeing those fins opening! On the other hand, dropping JDAMs or even LGBs from 30K- no machisimo-honor there…Hey- why not put 100 of ‘em on a 737 and loiter over the battlefield. Cost effective? Persistent?
Nah..not sexy enough.
b2
If no one is shooting back, the lowest and slowest approach (always preferred by infantry, who don’t trust aviators) is the best, even down to the reductio ad adsurdum of landing in the helicopter, saying howdy to everyone, carrying the bomb over to the critical place and touching off the fuze, and then leaving.