Neptunus Lex

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There was no plan for after

September 3rd, 2007 · 31 Comments · Military

naval-academy-comic.jpg

Story.

But you know, these mids today, they’ve got it easy. We used to dream of having food. In fact, this reminds me of a conversation I overheard at a recent reunion*

FIRST ALUMNI:
We I was a mid we used to live in this tiny old wing in Bancroft Hall with great big holes in the roof.
SECOND ALUMNI:
Wing! You were lucky to live in a wing! We used to live in one room, our whole platoon, no furniture, ‘alf the floor was missing, and we were all ‘uddled together in one corner for fear of falling.
THIRD ALUMNI:
Eh, you were lucky to have a room! We used to have to live in t’ corridor!
FOURTH ALUMNI:
Oh, we used to dream of livin’ in a corridor! Would ha’ been a palace to us. We used to live in an old water tank on a Farragut Field. We got woke up every morning by having a load of rotting fish dumped all over us! Wing? Hah.
FIRST ALUMNI:
Well, when I say ‘wing it was only a hole in the ground covered by a sheet of tarpaulin, but it was a wing to us.
SECOND ALUMNI:
We were evicted from our ‘ole in the ground; we ‘ad to go and live in the Severn River.
THIRD ALUMNI
You were lucky to have a river! There were a hundred and fifty of us living in t’ shoebox in t’ middle o’ road.
FOURTH ALUMNI:
Cardboard box?
THIRD ALUMNI
Aye.
FOURTH ALUMNI
You were lucky. We lived for three months in a paper bag in a septic tank. We used to have to get up at six in the morning, clean the paper bag, eat a crust of stale bread, go to class at Maury Hall, fourteen hours a day, week-in week-out, for sixpence a week, and when we got home our company officer would thrash us to sleep wi’ his belt.
SECOND ALUMNI
Luxury. We used to have to get out of the river at six o’clock in the morning, clean the river, eat a handful of ‘ot gravel, work twenty hour day in Michelson Hall for tuppence a month, come home, and our battalion officer would thrash us to sleep with a broken bottle, if we were lucky!
THIRD ALUMNI
Well, of course, we had it tough. We used to ‘ave to get up out of shoebox at twelve o’clock at night and lick road clean wit’ tongue. We had two bits of cold gravel, worked twenty-four hours a day at Chauvenet for sixpence at the end of the four years, and when we got home the Commandant of Midshipman would slice us in two wit’ bread knife.
FOURTH ALUMNI
Right. I had to get up in the morning at ten o’clock at night half an hour before I went to bed, drink a cup of sulphuric acid, work twenty-nine hours a day down Rickover,¬† pay the prof for permission to come to class, and when we got home, the Superintendent would kill us and dance about on our graves singing Hallelujah.
FIRST ALUMNI
And you try and tell the midshipmen of today that ….. they won’t believe you.
ALL:
They won’t!

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31 responses so far ↓

  • 1 unkawill // Sep 3, 2007 at 10:27 am

    Poor babies, at least they don’t have to eat MRE’s

  • 2 Blarg the Destroyer // Sep 3, 2007 at 10:41 am

    So stolen from the 4 Yorkshire Men.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xe1a1wHxTyo

  • 3 lex // Sep 3, 2007 at 10:45 am

    “Stolen” is a harsh and unfriendly word, Blarg. I did link to the Monty Python sketch - check the asterisk after the word “reunion.”

    I prefer to think I’m paying homage…

  • 4 Blarg the Destroyer // Sep 3, 2007 at 10:55 am

    Ah, didn’t see that the little * was a link.

    I’ll go with the homage thing. After reading the linked article, all I have to say to the midshipmen and their families is, quit your crying.

    You signed up for military service, not Club Med. Things suck sometimes. You have to learn to “embrace the suck” and deal with it.

  • 5 Sim // Sep 3, 2007 at 10:55 am

    To be honest I can see their point, if they’re going to be required to eat there then facilities ought to be able to cope. If they cannot then someone overlooked a pretty basic bit of planning (ie. can we actually provide that capability).

    Obviously many will say they functioned great on on one MRE a week while constantly engaged in combat operations but the fact is this isn’t combat, where logistic bottlenecks are taken in stride. Not a war either, but rather an Academy. Frankly if you’re going to require they eat there you may as well make sure the kitchen can make enough food.

  • 6 Ens Tim // Sep 3, 2007 at 1:34 pm

    It’s all such screaming BS I don’t even know where to start. This kind of garbage started when I was a 1/c and they basically told us that they refused to buy a proportionate amount of food for the size of the brigade until the midshipman leadership was able to step forward and guarantee 100% attendance at meals. Which is basically completely inside out if you think about it. At some point or another if the 1/c did manage to motivate the underclass to attend 100% of the meals, there would be days where there was not enough food for everyone, even though the mids had held up their end of the bargain because there would be a lag between the administration seeing good attendance and then offering full portions to each table. For some reason the food services there (while I was a mid at least) was more concerned with the fear of throwing away food at the end of a meal than the idea of students going without proper portions due to budgetary constrictions. Seems to me if you want mids to congregate and enjoy every meal together as a unit (mandatory or otherwise), you need to step up and provide them with a clean mess hall and healthy food supplied in ample portions. I realize that not everyone in the armed forces has a mess hall from which to eat or a limitless supply of freshly prepared meals, but as was said above, the academy is not a combat zone, it is a college where the students are expected to excel academically, morally, and athletically. Also, say what you will about the quality, but there is ALWAYS enough food available on ships at sea and aircraft carriers. This is not the Deployed Marine Fireteam Academy, it’s the Naval Academy, and the majority of the graduates will serve on ships where there will always be a steady supply of food available at mealtime. I have a hard time imagining a shortage of food on the enlisted mess decks of an aircraft carrier where yes, everyone is REQUIRED to eat their meals. Sure the food may suck but at least there is enough. Someone would lose their job if they dropped the ball on a deployed ship, I guess that standard doesn’t carry over to USNA.

    ~Ens Tim

  • 7 Old Lemming // Sep 3, 2007 at 2:03 pm

    Contingency planning does not seem to be the ne plus ultra at any level of this [mis]administration, be it at the white house, the cia, the state department, the justice department, the pentagon, etc., or USNA … I’ve heard there is something to be said for consistency, but I don’t think it was meant to approve what has become the cluster f*#k of the past six years eight months … insofar as the new supe and ‘dant are concerned, well, now we know -if there was ever any doubt- why they are referred to as “the dark side”.

    Ens. Tim: you are absolutely correct … there is NO EXCUSE for this B.S.; maybe the supe and ‘dant simply consider chow -both quantity and quality- to be a distraction ! How long do you think the situation would be allowed to exist if it were the supe’s or ‘dants galley putting out this crap … or the O Club for that matter … one meal and heads would roll!

  • 8 Skippy-san // Sep 3, 2007 at 7:22 pm

    Its all a conspiracy to increase revenues at the USNA’s equivelant of a cadet canteen.

    Back in the day, at my beloved alma mater, you had a very large and surly woman telling you “We ain’t got no mo!” repeatedly. Which usually led to a decline in the quality of life for the knob who returned to the table with that news.

    Funny, we never ran out grits at breakfast though.

  • 9 Idaho // Sep 3, 2007 at 9:23 pm

    FWIW, We have a babysitter who is 16 now, and an amazing athlete, and has attended many college-hosted sports camps (swimming and soccer) up and down the East Coast. She wants to attend a service academy, but has already ruled out the Naval Academy, because of how awful the food was while she was there for Swim Camp….Sad. She’s only 16. It’s not like she was looking for a four-course meal. She was only looking for good fuel for her body. And decided USNA doesn’t have any.

  • 10 CPT J // Sep 4, 2007 at 6:12 am

    Skipper, could you please go back to the blue sky format?

    My eyes are not rated for IFR blogs

  • 11 Michelle // Sep 4, 2007 at 7:29 am

    Have to concur on that one, CPT J.
    Why do people always seem to have the need to fix things that ain’t broken?
    Never miss with perfection, I say…

    Oooh, that preview print is awful tiny now. Doesn’t bother me with my youthful eyes , of course, but I imagine it might be a problem for some of them … old sea dogs LOL

  • 12 lex // Sep 4, 2007 at 7:29 am

    Did somebody mention food fight?

    And you don’t like the new look? I can soften the background a bit, but it feels so much cleaner to me…

  • 13 P-3W // Sep 4, 2007 at 8:04 am

    I’m liking the new look, Lex, though I agree the preview print is a might tiny for these aging eyes of mine (*must get off aging kick*). Nice and clean.

    You updated it as I was posting yesterday and for a minute I thought I had broken your site. Whew ~ glad I didn’t! I was afraid you wouldn’t let me come back to play …

  • 14 SGT Jeff (USAR) // Sep 4, 2007 at 12:30 pm

    Sounds like they are acclimating the middies to becoming Marines.

    Perhaps they should subcontract out food to the submarine service….

    I admit that I thought life there was much rougher though - being able to order out pizza?

  • 15 MajMike // Sep 4, 2007 at 12:54 pm

    reminds me of the mess steward who once replied to a plebe (with pitcher in hand) , “i’m sorry, there is no more water in the Mess Hall…”

  • 16 Glenn M. Cassel, AMH1(AW), USN, Retired // Sep 4, 2007 at 7:18 pm

    Transient quarters at NAS Miramar, Open Bay!!!!!!!!! Oh, the shame!!!!!!!!
    Door knockers are belly achin’? Naw!!!!!!!
    How about a 100 man berthing compartment on a good old CV, You know, Independence, Ranger, Kitty Hawk, etc.
    Not to mention 12 on, 12 off ad infinitum……
    The Old Retired Petty Officer says: Tango Sierra.
    Intruders forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Just for you Pinch.
    If I get back to the San Joaquin with my rock train, I will be sure to stop by good old NAS Lemoore and pay a visit. I want to see the Argonauts and their new toys. And maybe a short stop at AIMD 500 Division. Charter member SeaOpDet 46964.

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