Credo
"Sign on, young man, and sail with me. The stature of our homeland is no more than the measure of ourselves. Our job is to keep her free. Our will is to keep the torch of freedom burning for all. To this solemn purpose we call on the young, the brave, the strong, and the free. Heed my call, Come to the sea. Come Sail with me." -- John Paul Jones
"Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature" --George Bernard Shaw, "Caesar and Cleopatra"
"And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music."--Friedrich Nietzsche
"A kind Providence has placed in our breasts a hatred of the unjust and cruel, in order that we may preserve ourselves from cruelty and injustice. They who bear cruelty, are accomplices in it. The pretended gentleness which excludes that charitable rancour, produces an indifference which is half an approbation. They never will love where they ought to love, who do not hate where they ought to hate."--Edmund Burke
“You say that it is your custom to burn widows. Very well. We also have a custom: when men burn a woman alive, we tie a rope around their necks and we hang them. Build your funeral pyre; beside it, my carpenters will build a gallows. You may follow your custom. And then we will follow ours.”--General Sir Charles Napier
"Μολὼν λαβέ" -- Leonidas
"Blogito Ergo Sum" -- Neptunus Lex
I love the blog and a lot of his Things that White People like are really funny when you look at them in an Asian context-where everything is about race. Expat blogs are where the blog gets a lot of its links from. #11 and #71 are spot on IMHO.
The audience he has most infuriated? White women living in Asia.
Looks like the “Preppy Handbook” for the internet crowd has been discovered. Makes me wonder what the comments to the Preppy Handbook would have been had readers had that ability ‘back then.’
Funny stuff.
Hysterical. . .and ofttimes eerily spot on.
Now, excuse me, I have to go drive my BMW with the Apple logo on the rear window to the local Starbucks where I will drink pudding coffee and discuss the literary genius of David Sedaris.
……most of those ten millions hits are from the same ocd dude. keeps on trying to get it right.
Could only get through the first couple of paragraphs, not that there is anything wrong with that, just not my cup o’jo.
My Wife calls it “Sad”, she nailed it.
v/r jug
OCD?
Skip, it’s what you do… errr, we do… here.
Martin Mull wrote a book just like this twenty years ago or so. I have it around here somewhere.
Ah. “History of White People in America.” Things like Sans-A-Belt trousers and propane grills. It was very funny.
This is hilarious.. and spot on.
Now, excuse me, I have to go drive my BMW with the Apple logo on the rear window to the local Starbucks where I will drink pudding coffee and discuss the literary genius of David Sedaris.
Wow. Except for the David Sedaris part, that sounds an awful lot like somebody else ’round here…
Heh,
They lost me at the soccer part. I told my kids that I would personally blow off their kneecaps if they ever played soccer. Americans play football and baseball, and pinball. Occasionally bassetball. And overseas the occasional Pachinko. Anything else is off limits, except rugby if there’s lots of mud and alcohol involved.
Soccer, however, is right out. Posers play soccer. Our ancestors left their home nations because of soccer. Americans will NOT play soccer, because Americans like to score, and score often. No one scores in soccer. That perhaps explains the decling birth rates in Europe, home of Soccer. Word. Soccer hooligans, however, are cool.
As to T-shirts, he’s obviously out of touch. The illiterate white youth groups (I’m looking at YOU Berkely!) wear Che T-shirts, and those with the ability to use more than half their brain cells have black T-shirts, or at least a solid-color crew neck T with no logo.
Except for Black Sabbath. Or Manson. Or perhaps Led Zeppelin.
Or Navy blue with the words: Chew Tobacca Chew Tobacca Chew Tobacca spit! If you ain’t an airdale you aint Sh!T…. or something to that effect. My mind wanders…..
The blog is funny, but the author is obviously a poser
Probably drinks Heinekin. And plays soccer. Poser.
Did I say the author was a Poser? yeah… frikkin; Poser.
Probably studied Jung. Or married young and is suffering his middle-aged crisis. Lucky us.
Man needs a shot and a beer, and a bar where everyone knows his name, or at least his arrest record.
AW1 Tim, soccer is that game invented by european women while their husbands were in the kitchen fixing supper. Heh heh heh…
AW 1 Tim,
You nailed it. The onliest thing missin’ is the Lone Star beer.
I’read the first two or three posts three times and I find no humor in any of them.Hmmm….color me slow.
Red Necks, White Socks, and Blue Ribbon Beer.
Don’t get it.
I must be the main character out of that movie “The Watermelon Man”.
b2
Pretty good summary of Blue State Metrosexual America.
Completely misses Red State and White Hat America.
No Condo, No BMW, No MBA.
Guess that just leaves me my Red Neck, White Socks and Blue Ribbon Beer too.
Oh, and can I get some Pork Rinds to go?
Blackeagle603,
You can get your pork rinds to go. You can also get your barbecue with either mustard or ketchup base. Slaw on top, or on the side?
Bourbon, beer, and barbecue! Nature’s most perfect foods…..
Must be blocked in Berkeley — there have been no lawsuits filed based upon discrimination or defamation of character. Truth is a defense against libel, so perhaps that has made it so difficult.
I find it humorous, but not terribly so. It’s kind of how “Prairie Home Companion” (Minnesota Public Radio) treats Lutherans and Norwegians, a group to be made fun of that is neither interested or willing to fight back. Instead, they laugh at themselves in the joke.
Which, if everybody did that, would solve a lot of the world’s problems.
– Max
Max, I think that’s the basic message this satirical site is (brilliantly) attempting to convey.
This site is clever,too:
http://www.blackpeopleloveus.com/
AW1 Tim,
I must respectfully rise to the defense of soccer. I’ve played the game for going on 35 years. My introduction to “The Beautiful Game” was courtesy of Johan Cruyf, perhaps the greatest player in the history of the game, when I lived in Holland as a kid. I remember the entire country coming to a stop when Holland met W. Germany in the ’74 World Cup final. Pretty cool to see how seriously they take the game, especially in the sport’s marquee event.
Pele described soccer as “chess at 90 miles an hour”. The game requires strength, speed, agility, endurance and intelligence. The reason soccer is typically lower scoring is because it is very difficult to score. One should watch the game played at it’s highest levels to truly appreciate it’s beauty. For fast paced, physical play, try checking out the English Premier League. Watch Manchester United or Arsenal. Listen to the fans at Anfield or Old Tratford. The atmosphere of regular league match in those stadiums will make the Super Bowl seem like a High School JV game.
If you don’t think the game is physical enough, just ask Eduardo DiSilva how his double fractured leg is coming along. It may not have the sheer violence of American football, but it is a tough game. Players run upwards of 11K during a 90 minute match, and teams are limited to 3 subs. Liverpool take on Inter Milan in a Champions League match today on ESPN. Watch a bit of that and you should see the game played at a very high level.
As a final note, a 21-14 football game is really only 3-2.
Cheers,
Roachman
AW1 Tim,
1.) Birth rates in Europe decline since boys are no more out on the streets all day, playing soccer, growing up, becoming man.
Boys in the Arab street and Latin America play soccer. Watch their birth-rates.
2.) When German boys played soccer, 4 out of 5 accepted draft and served.
Today German boys play video games, Tennis, etc., but not so much soccer. 2 of 3 claim conscentious objector when drafted.
3.) Soccer is working class sport. It is physical and tough, though not violent and brutal. At least not as long as the referee does notice. I mean, you won’t admit being feeble and cry about somebody kicking you (If it doesn’t pay off).
Hey Roachman, remember the old NASL (Non American Soccer League)? I was on the Miami Gatos squad before they became the Fort Lauderdale Strikers. Good ol’ Doc, mosquitos, and gators in Tamiami. Did a stint on the U-17s and 20s as well. Went to college as a free safety in pointy football since soccer scholarships were not available back then. Had to travel to places like St Louis to play Club soccer. NC, the N.E., some Midwest, and St Louis were about it.
I had to wear a black helmet in pointy football and was not allowed to hit anyone in practice since I kept putting out starting pantywaist QBs. Football practice was a joke and I didn’t even break a sweat. And NO ONE even thought about telling me soccer was a pogue sport. Call me a poser back then? I’d kick your teeth out. One at a time. And then remove your ability to ever reproduce, effectively making you a eunuch!
You have not lived until you’ve had a drunk Gerd Muller come in cleats up to teach a “poser” young American a lesson! Or had bags of p*ss and d cell batteries thrown on/at you at Azteca.
Soccer is for posers? *yawn* Football is for p*ssies! Run a play and huddle up. Coach calls time out and dictates the game. Oops! Time for a commercial timeout. Most wussies that play football couldn’t make it to the first 20 in a soccer match. Make sure you have enough pads so you don’t get a witty bitty boo boo. At least I can respect rugby!
Roachman,
You got street cred man! A love of soccer acquired through overseas living experience.
and for the record, we’re hardcore “football” fans in our house. Up at zero dark thirty to watch FA cup live etc. fwiw, Soccer players have more disabled list injury time than other team sports. Duration and intensity of game w/ unprotected contact. Lots of concussions.
MaxD,
The Prairie Home analogy w/ Scandahoovians, Lutherans and Sanctified Brethren is solid. I grew up “Brethren” like Keillor and have laughed myself to tears at his reminiscences of small home churches.
AT1 Dwight
And while I’m at it:
My “poser” son (three tour combat NCO Marine) made All Tournament at the Commander’s Cup on Okie. Dam* soccer playing wussies!
Yeah, go tell it to him. Heh! When you pick yourself up off the deck you can wonder about posers!
JHD,
Impressive CV. Grew up in S.E. PA, a true hotbed of footie. All the old German social clubs had very strong club teams. And the Philadelphia Catholic League was full of powerhouse teams. I’ve played keeper all my life. Never got hurt on the pitch, but I’ve laid out (as in bring on the smelling salts) my share of strikers. Remember, it hurts more to get hit than to hit.
I currently play in an over 35 league with a number of ex D1 and USL players. My little brother played D1 and won a national club championship with his team from DC back in 96. I love the game, and I’ll keep playing as long as my body holds out, and I can play at a level I can still take pride in.
Blackeagle,
L-I-V…E-R-P…Double O-L…LIVERPOOL FC!
You’ll never walk alone,
Roachman
AW1 Tim
You left one of the few truly North American games off your list; lacrosse! My son plays for a Division 1 school. It’s a pretty rough sport, combining running, contact and eye-hand coordination. Safety equipment is minimal (outside of a helmet with full cage mask, which is needed to keep someone from getting killed by a 90 mph shot). I’ve saw a kid get his arm broken by a stick not 20 feet from me at one game.
Roachman said:
The atmosphere of regular league match in those stadiums will make the Super Bowl seem like a High School JV game.
Well, now, an unfair comparison. Super Bowls rarely match up natural rivals and few of the attendees are fans of either team. Try going to a Chicago/Green Bay game to get a true comparison. Or, for another sport, sit in the bleachers at Fenway when the Yankees are in town – it makes World Series games look calm.
I feel like I’m reading the comments left on the web site… It is amazing what fires up people sometimes, and what will hijack a group of postings… I think this has turned into a defense of topic #80
I’m with Skippy-san about #11 and #71, if an American rates a sushi place as bad in America (meaning not having their favorite Cali Roll/philly roll, etc), The Japanese Wife and I are in the car that night trying it out. We have not been disappointed yet..
Heh… some folks seem to have missed the Humour 101 section. Ah well…
LaCrosse! yes… an excellent game. Also, there’s Dodge Ball, poorly named, it seems, because the object is to hit your opponent
There is also Frisbee Football.
Heh…
RonF,
I’m a Yankee fan, and I’ve been in the bleachers at Fenway. Great place to see a game, but it can’t hold a candle to the Kop at Anfield.
Now, the old Chicago Stadium could be pretty impressive.
AW1Tim, I deleted an overly snarky comment a while ago aimed at Jarheaddad’s comments that suggested in essence that he cool his jets attempt to relax and immediately get back on his meds .
I thought your comment # 10 above was an clear and well thought out snark…obviously JHD et als did not… which is , of course , absolutly fine… we do after all need a passel of anal retentative , excessively literal folks to serve as foils for their smart-ass/snarky brethern…
Best
PS, Tim…there is also Pocket Pool…a natural hands on activity for the literal set.
Snake,
Heh, I didn’t even get into can hunting, or fishin’ with dynamite and a big net
respects,
Any game you play with a ball is a child’s game.
Grown men practice the fighting arts. Shooting. Fencing. Karate.
Mike M, Indeed…Grown men do practice the fighting arts … Shooting, Fencing, Karate…to which list I respectifully add the most important … Sweet Fillies. Best
YOU deleted a snarky post to ME Snake? Heh, that’s a first! Are you feeling OK or you just upset ’cause there’s no Marine PAO story to fire you up? Semper Fi!
Yeah, I got the snark cannon AW1Tim but chose to ignore it. You’d have to had stood where I stood back then to understand. We got our butts kicked by every nation under the sun but we never quit. Not once. I worked with kids far and wide to open up the game and try to attract the upper echelon athletes to the sport only to be met with just the snarky attitude you provide. Pardon me if I take it a bit personal.
Soccer is one of only a couple games there are where the match is determined by the players on the field. Coaches can do no more than make substitutions and adjustments at the half. Coaching is done on practice days and it’s up to the players to win, lose, or draw. No timeouts, no TV commercials, no way for anyone, other than an inept ref crew maybe, to stop the game being played. The game is all about the players. Period. The game is also one of the oldest sports in America. And beyond a shadow the hardest to play.
All I’ve got to say is if people think America is loved around the world and we can “negotiate” anything then just don the kit of the good ol’ Red, White, and Blue and go play a soccer match in South America, Islands, or Europe. Hate is too mild a word to describe the reception you’ll get!
Played those German teams out of PA Roachman. They were tough. We managed to handle them but it was always a pretty bitter rivalry. I think we were the only team around short of the English out of FL that matched up with them physically. Lots of blood in those matches. We had an English head coach and German keeper coach that made for some interesting arguments. That’s putting it mildly! Heh!
One of my best friends was a keeper. One of AW1Tim’s old wimpy girly man posers that happened to be a Beirut Marine. I played withdrawn forward (what is called an attacking mid nowadays) and he knocked me into the next galaxy on numerous occasions. Some of them I still don’t remember. Man how I hated you guys!
“After his first training session in heaven, George Best, from the favourite right wing, turned the head of God who was filling in at left back. I would love him to save me a place in his team, George Best that is, not God.” – Eric “Kung Fu” Cantona
And for the record; I am a big Miami Dolphins fan. Yes, I have been suffering quietly! Not to mention UGA, LSU, and anybody in the SEC in college sports. But I still hate commercials and timeouts!
We now return you to your regularly scheduled thread!
JHD, Thanks for the concern, however insincere…but I feel just fine. As for you I guess you choose not to follow my advise or the meds have yet to kick in…whatever the case … we’re all friends around here so you just need to lighten the f**k up on the soccer thing… bad for the ole BP you know… Best
PS, I did delete a snarky comment on Lex’s “Marine” post … 3/9/08 …you know the bogus PAO shot with all the uncovered Jarheads crammed toghther and pointing their weapons menacingly at some unknown thingy out there. My focus was on the sandy haired, bespectacled and tentative Gomer Pyle look-a -like in the foreground of the picture. I surmised at the time that he just might be the clerk-typist of the PAO unit that ginned up this embarrassing shot… and wormed his way into the picture at the last moment… in the final analysis I thought it was indeed an overly snarky comment to make so I did the noble thing and deleted it.
I knew you had something you wanted to say on that post! Heh! I actually thought it would be about the anti-terrorism squad instead of picking on a fine lookin’ Marine. Anywhere in the world anytime kinda’ thing. Stuff you Doggies have a hard time with doncha’ know!
Blood pressure? I believe you have to have a heart to have blood pressure. I don’t qualify! *sigh*
Oh well, I shall endeavor to persevere while trying not to hurt your feelings. Friends and all. Yol Bosun!
Hey, I’m online! ). And Se ya later)).