So, today was pretty close to the last of my transition requirements, the good lord willing and the crick don’t rise. A trip back to the VA medical center for an ortho exam. Having flung a motorcycle into the dust at high speed some years ago, and carrying around in consequence a titanium plate with seven small screws through my tibia, there are Concerns about Consequences.
One among the dreary little secrets of leaving the service is this disability vig. The separation physicals were originally designed to help people who had been wounded in the line of duty by providing them a compensatory payment for the future earnings they’d left by in the service of their country. For many years this was done by deducting income from a retirement check and returning it to the disabled veteran tax free.
In time all injuries incurred during service came to be covered, not just those received during wartime service, in combat. And these days, retired servicemen who are more than 50% disabled receive non-taxable co-payments on top of their full retired pay. It’s not a lot of money – a 100% disabled vet with dependents might receive as much as $36,000 per year tax free – but neither is it nothing. It’s a noble idea, keeping faith with our troops and all that. But because the service does not recruit exclusively from within the ranks of the Vienna boy’s choir, the system has potential for abuse.
He said, with calculated understatement.
A man might mention to a retiree of his casual acquaintance that he’d soon be heading to the VA for his disability evaluation, and the other fellow might whisper in a conspiratorial way, “Sleep apnea.” Coupled with a wink, in case the point had been lost. “Automatic 50% disability.”
At first surprised, and then offended, your man might well reply that he doesn’t have sleep apnea. At which point his interlocutor will look at him askance, clearly thinking him either a fool or an insufferable moralist, or both. Or else he might, depending on his native intelligence, continue on in an optimistic vein, “Tinnitus, then?”
It gets tiresome after a while, and if it’s that for those of us going through it just the once, imagine the sentiments of those on the other side of the examination table who every day are faced with legions of the limping, batches of the bedridden, clusters of the crapulous. All of them moaning on about one or another more or less authentic disability. Or else superannuated captains on the retired list (is that redundant?) carrying the burden of the years atop a gammy leg. Oh, dear. Gone. Shot off.
There is a lot of sighing and waiting around at the VA clinic. Much officious ruffling of paperwork. Occasionally there are little people with small bits of power which they are mightily tempted to viciously abuse. I was lucky in that category, but I have to admit that having lost the right to insist upon a rank before my name, the title of “mister” might go a fair part towards conciliating reciprocal good will for those not of close personal acquaintance. Among the patients there I was very nearly the only one there without a cane or walker. I guess I didn’t get the memo.
In time I was summoned into the presence of the orthopod, a remarkably professional and very attractive woman many years my junior. After brief introductions and a cool handshake, the good doctor asked me a number of questions from a checklist before kindly asking me to strip to the waist. After a brief physical examination – having thus attained a position of immense moral superiority that stood in vivid contrast to her rather diminutive physical stature – she subsequently offered me a smock that I might have done with all the rest of it.
Up on the table, dad, and before you know it there were limbs being manipulated this way and that by a pair of lissome arms while pressures were applied hither and yon, in consequence of which smocks were riding up past the point of perfect modesty and your correspondent was left for to do multiplication tables in his noggin as a way of absenting himself mentally from a situation that offered to slip very far away from his physical control.
All good things come to an end, however, for we were sent forthwith down to radiology to be prodded and slapped around in odd poses against cold pieces of gear by a technician whose familiarity with dental hygiene could only be described as glancing. If there’s anything more impersonal than being shoved about like a slab of meat on a cold table while an X-Ray machine whirrs and clicks above you, then thank you, but I’ll have none.
Ups and downs.
Karma.
Lex … the slab of meat thing only gets worse as you get older. And I think those smocks are designed by the prison population to get revenge against those of us who have not yet been arrested. I read a novel where the hero withdrew his attention from the dreary things being done to him by counting backward in Farsi. Don’t know what one should do if one doesn’t know Farsi.
Oh well … you won’t have to do That again for awhile. Go home and kiss your wife and eat a good dinner. That’ll help.
Marianne
I’m trying to remember the nickname of your wife… ah yes, Hobbit.
I imagine she’s howling in laughter as she reads this.
I had my arm splinted up once like yours, metal plate, screws, the works. Doctor said it’s yours for life. Well, except for one thing. A few years later, the screws started coming out. See, the holes in the plate are countersunk, and the screws are designed to fit flush with the surface of the plate. Installed as designed, works most excellent..but, if not, like mine, the muscle tissue (which is of course, on top of the bone) will begin to be irritated by that sharp edge on the screw sticking out of the plate. Yup, had to go back in, and get the damn thing back out. Now I have a really huge scar on the inside of my arm.
And Lex, with shipyard workers, when it comes to the part on the form where it says, “Visible scars or tattoos:”, I just put down, “which limb? where do I start?”
Totally O/T surgery story:
I went in for some outpatient surgery once where they had me knocked out for about five hours. When I’d gone to sleep, I had been wearing a set of surgical scrubs (as the operation was not going to touch anything south of the Equator) on bottom and a smock on top.
When I came to, I was a little loopy on Morphine and not really in control of the aircraft. So when I stood up from the gurney in recovery I rather rapidly noticed that several people behind me were getting to know my rudder in a, well, biblical sense. I immediately sat down in a chair, which in turn prompted a concerned look and some questions for the nurse.
“Are you okay?” She asks.
“Eh?” I reply, fuzzily trying to figure out if I know anyone present.
“Can I get you anything?”
“Yeah, SOME PANTS WOULD BE GREAT RIGHT ABOUT NOW.”
I might also mention that this is when I discovered I have no volume control when on drugs. The surgeon later told me that I had replied (at about 110 dB) to a question about whether the anesthetic was working with: “I FEEL LIKE A SUPERCONDUCTING DOPE MAGNET.” He said this provided some levity to the operating theater, since apparently most people become quite profane.
Yuck. Days like that are certainly no fun. The advice to go home and kiss the Hobbitt and have a good dinner sounds about right.
Cap’n,
Just remember Multiple Sclerosis is NOT a service-connected disability. Doesn’t matter if you’re in the best shape of your life, make no gripes about the tinnitis (from electronic cabinet blowers or the odd MG room) or the asbestos you were exposed to in the shipyard. You contract MS, you’re out sans disability since you have to use a syringe to dispense medication.
5-10 years ago this probably would not have been such an interesting story, as there were very few women orthopaedic surgeons. Recently there has been a push to make the field more diverse since only about 5% of orthopods are female, compared to your typical medical school class where they constitute about 50%. Traditionally it was thought that women lacked the strength needed for orthopaedics, given the brute force involved in reducing fractures and dislocations, not to mention hammering in the OR, etc. As a 6′3″ guy, there are plenty of times where I wish I had an extra inch, or just a little bit more strength to fulfill one of my daily tasks. However, many of the women entering the field are specifically choosing specialties that rely less on these physical demands such as hand surgery.
The times are a changin’ in orthopaedics. Dermatology, now there is a field with some real babes.
I’m chuckling pretty hard right now, Lex. Brings back “fond” memories of the retirement physical exam I received from the lovely young thing with the knuckles of a gorilla and the haughty demeanor of a Nazi SS Frau.
You got off easy mate!
Subsunk
I remember one of my first Annual Flight Physicals was in Pensacola, and was a young, attractive flight doc just a coupla years older than I. She was working very hard to be professional and I was trying to remember all the parts of a Sunfish (Boom, Mast, Pintle, Gudgeon, Tiller, Head, Tack, Clue… etc) so as to not make it hard for her.
By direction I laid prone on the table and she prodded my midsection (looking for what, I don’t know) but after the third prod I burst out laughing, cause I’m pretty ticklish.
My burst of laughter prompted her to jump back mightily. Then we both laughed.
Ah, youth.
N
PS I failed every hearing test I took after the age of thirty. Might have had sumpin to do with the countless hours on the flight deck wearing the mighty yellow foamies in my ears. My wife says I’m pretty much deef, but I think it is just in her register…
Just wait until later in life there skipper. Then you can go through things at the VA like my dad, who somehow, according to the doctors of the VA, had a miraculous recovery one year from degenerative arthritis and went from 60% disabled to 40%.
We’re still trying to figure out how he got better, but it hurt more.
Y’all talkin’ about deafness, my dad had the worst eyesight in Naval Aviation, but fantastic hearing. With around 350-400 night traps, he always claimed he never saw the boat, but could hear it.
Lex,
I appreciate you bringing up the disability issue. I too was given more than a few sideways glances when I answered negatively to any offers of a “disability” upon my retirement 4 years ago. I have all of the usual scrapes and such that goes with 22 years on Destroyers, but nothing that keeps me from working and doing my job. I work with a guy, who sports a “retired navy” license plate frame, 8 years of active duty, and a 100% rating and the monthly check to boot. He does his job, same as me, daily and without any problems.
Makes me sick when I think of the warriors coming back sans limbs, eyesight, hearing, et al, that guys like him collect a check each month. I’d be glad to make ‘em truly disabled if they wish, but, then I’d be in jail!
Count me in as one of those “insufferable moralists”.
I would definitely be labeled the insufferable moralists in these matters, but in defense of some friends of mine, I’m sticking my nose over the line to the other side…
My understanding is that disability is not only strickly for non-ability to support oneself, but it’s also compensation for injuries that reduce quality of life. For example, a soldier with severe back and knee injuries due to 20 years of humping a pack all over the place is not going to be able to do some of the basics of keeping up a house, but will probably do just fine in some kind of consulting gig at a desk. So while he can make a perfectly good living, he’s never going to go hiking with his wife, work in the yard, or take the dogs on a long walk. It’s certainly not the same level of life impact that an amputation has, but his service to the country has affected his quality of life for his remaining years.
Like I said, just sticking my nose in–I find people who lie to get what they don’t deserve, or who in following the letter of the law break its spirit, absolutely deplorable. But I think a reasonable argument can be made for the kinds of situations I describe above.
My .02, and worth about that much…
The ortho doc reminds me of a situation that happened with my roomie at the Boat School. He was an oversexed foreign national from Latin America, and found himself in an undressed state with an attractive, blond, blue-eyed Navy doc. I guess he didn’t learn the whole multiplication thing, because the nice lady was forced to leave and they sent in a burly man instead. Problem solved.
Lex – I’ve had the same lady doctor for about 15 years. She is petite and attractive, but the rubber gloves have always taken the romance out of it.
Never had a hard time.
Not even once.
But it’s only since I turned 40 that I have come to fully appreciate the benefits of having a woman doctor with small fingers.
Those over 40 will understand.
Those under 40 will in the end.
Since we’re talking about doctors…
Took my wife in a while back to get minor knee surgery. Seems a torn meniscus (sp?) was causing all that pain. Though done under general anesthesia it was on an outpatient basis. When she was wheeled out to the waiting room for me too take home I got a pretty good kick out of seeing written on one leg in thick black sharpie “NO.” And luckily it wasn’t the one with the large ace bandage.
Captain Lex, you got off easy. At least you didn’t need a pap smear for this physical.
I had to leave the Navy because of injuries I recieved in a fall from a helicopter that I was working on. I broke most of the bones in my right arm and shoulder. I have no complaints about the care I recieved, but I am restricted in the ways that I can use my right arm. I have no trouble earning a living and do not currently collect a disability, but I have to report to the VA every two years for re-evaluation. Each time the disability percentage increases a little as the progression of arthritis is visable on the x-rays. I was asked, by a friend, if when I hit 50% would I take the disability payment? My answer was “yes”. I agree with the post about “quality of life”. I had to give-up playing softball, bowling and other things due to the restrictions of my injury.
Been there, done that. Lost over 2 feet of large intestine to the doc’s at Balboa early in my flying career…hence the velcro backed “Semi-colon” name tags with gold wings. That and a few other wear and tear issues earned me 30% disability.
Have to agree with FbL and Jim Collins, its not necessarily injuries sustained in combat, but the stresses and inflictions suffered while in service that will affect us for the rest of our lives. The system is set up to give the most to the more catastrophic injuries/maladies, while giving smaller compensation to those with smaller annoyances. But it is nice to have that extra tax free “thank you for your sacrifice” from Uncle Sam, rather than just a hardy handshake and a “job well done”, now be on your way.
As far as Nose being hard of hearing is concerned, we women call that Selective Marital Deafness, and it afflicts nearly all married males, whether or not they’ve been in the military.
Marianne
Disclaimer- I’m not getting any tax free offsets to my retirement. I like it that way, thankfully…Rest assured I count my blessings.
The basic, non-legal morality smell test to me is this criterion for NON-COMBAT RELATED INJURIES:
Is it a DIRECT result of your service or because of your service?
In other words if you had worked in the insurance business, mined for coal, dug ditches got elected to Congress, or was a Greeter at Wal-Mart, would it have probably happened to you regardless of that service?
That is the question and that is the rub…
Too much sleep apnea, dandruff and sore backs, etc. being paid for by the taxpayers…Perhaps if you didn’t come in the Navy and instead remained on the family farm (etc.) your lower back would probably be worse than a career maintaining boilers…..
Overall, I think this is gotten somewhat out of hand..It’s fallen into the entitlement-”let me get mine”, lack of character many folks exhibit on purpose or reflexively. They know who they are.
My only question to the VA, ever, was when I asked a simple question about my supposedly available Vietnam-era GI bill entitlement… Their answer was so painful to attempt to comprehend and the suggestion about how to find out was so onerous, that I have never contacted them again. They like it that way I am sure… I just hope somebody got 3 years tuition and a monthly stipend..somewhere.
Loss of hearing? Say again? I can’t hear you…What about all that wonderful Navy dentistry any retiree will have to correct? Every time I get that high backache from inflamation (couple ibuprofen and a shot of bourbon take care of it) between #6 and 7 vertebrea I gotta ask myself- is that from 700+ catshots or was it from Judo, foot-base-basket ball or jumping into that dry wash with a fully loaded hunting vest and 7lb shotgun in 20 degree weather!
Don’t really know about all that, but I’ve got my dignity.
b2
As far as Nose being hard of hearing is concerned, we women call that Selective Marital Deafness…
I remember a study of hearing and aging that found that men are the first to begin to lose their hearing due to age, and that the range of frequencies most common to the female voice are the first frequencies they lose. LOL!
B2,
You can have your dignity. Disability is not subject to division under the USFSPA. So yea, I’m Ok with sleep Apnea or anything else that puts the money in my pocket where it belongs. And not in someone elses………..
Selective Marital Deafness in the frequency range of the female voice is a survival tactic by the male. I lost a good bit of my mid-range hearing even though I wore the foamies under my helmet. My wife’s daily word quota doesn’t bother me a bit! Add to the hearing loss the fact that she talks to herself alot (she’ll admit it) and I’ve given up paying attention…. most of the time!
Skippy,
I coulda figured. That’s why you’re a small figure…
An 0-6 pig eating at the trough, or “gaming the system”, or “getting what’s due me” in order to “get mine”, because “they owe me”, is no different than a welfare queen or a tax cheat.
IMO, o’course. I would hate to be judgmental on such a tragic figure as yourself. I will acknowledge that most would agree with your attitude. That’s one of the things that’s wrong about America today, too. Attitudes like that can’t be legislated against, but the folks who imbibe in them can be shunned.
Yes- I’ll have my dignitas and eat it, too!
b2
Say what you want-I earned it!
There’s nothing illegal about it. You take all the tax deductions you are entitled to don’t you?
And it still does not improve my overall bottom line-all it does is reduce the amount of retirement that can be unlawfully divided with the ex.
“There’s nothing illegal about it.”
I don’t think it’s about whether or not it’s “illegal”.
I’m fairly certain it’s about what’s “immoral”.
Take what you will, you’re the one who has to stare back at yourself when you’re shaving. If you feel good about it, fine. Just don’t try to convince those of us who see you as slurpin’ at the trough.
In my very unhumble opinion, if’n you didn’t get it “in the line of duty” (and in my book, that ain’t some REMF posit) you don’t really deserve it. Ditto if you can still earn a paycheck.
“Immoral?”
You know, I know a lot of you say these things to see if he can get a rise out of someone, but it seems to me that to portray every veteran who applies for disability as some sort of welfare or tax cheat is a bit much.
Seems to me your complaint should be with the system, not the person who applies for benefits within it. Its not exactly like a veteran can just wake up one morning and say, “I think I’ll just declare myself 100% disabled and sit on my ass all day”. There is a process after all and it requires a lengthy application process and a certification by the VA that the disability is legitimate. The VA expects to get some 800,000 claims this year, and it has 400,000 claims pending. It takes about six months, on average, to process a claim, and appeals average about two years. If you think there is too much “cheating” going on-then get Congress to revise the law. However do expect some push back from the military coalition. Also I would remind you the final arbiter of “line of duty” is when the injury occurred and the character of the discharge. That’s taught in every transition class the Navy teaches. I don’t think the REMF block is anywhere on the claim form. Maybe it should be-only who gets to be the judge of what is REMF or not?
This is the kind of thing where the facts in general do not support the stereotypes. The stereotype of the “freeloading” veteran is just that: a stereotype-and had you, or B2, or anyone else looked up the facts you have found out that the overwhelming majority of veterans with disability ratings average about 10-20%-no more. ( Source GAO reports in 1996 and 2006). I’d also point out that those same reports show that only 6.4% of veterans get some 30% of all reported disability payments and those are the ones who are 100% disabled. That hardly qualifies as an epidemic of misconduct. I would submit to you that based solely on medical records just about every retiring veteran would qualify for a 10 % rating. The service takes something over time. Other wise why do I have a hearing loss after 5000 hours of hearing engines drone on into the night? Are you saying my hearing loss is somehow less noble than Nose’s? I think if you did a statistical survey of E-2 aircrew its a common affliction.
Could the system take some reform-sure. However for every story of someone “at the trough” there are an equal number of horror stories of guys not getting what independent evaluators say is legitimate. The system is not perfect, but it has to cast a wide enough net to cover those who need it.
Plus as the US government has pointed out, and veterans groups have endorsed, teh VA ratings themselves need to be updated-but both sides are in agreement that system should not be scrapped. I’d also remind you that for most retirees they are not really getting any additional money because most of them do not qualify for concurrent receipt. So its not costing the government ONE DIME more than it would already be paying.
Plus, like it or not, the US government incentivizes the desire to get a disability rating. Preferred hiring practices in federal employment are one, inequities in military retirement law as typified by the USFSPA are another, and finally the tax advantages of the disability system are a third.
In the end, the claims have to be supported by the medical record. And it has to be upheld by a VA adjudicator who if the numbers are right-is actually spring loaded to the Badbob school of veterans adjudication-guilty until proven innocent.
And FWIW my current rating is zero-but I am awaiting adjudication of my claim. I have all the documentation to prove it and yes I did use the services of the DAV-just like they show you in transition class. I don’t see filing a claim as any more “immoral” than taking a 100% legal tax deduction. And most of you guys would defend to the death the right of B2 or anyone else to do that.
Blame the system and fix the system if you don’t like it. At the least look at the facts before you brand all of your fellow veterans as cheats and liars. An honorable discharge is not a greater than or equal to proposition…………….
Blaming the system is like blaming the donkey for the cart being slow. One is nothing without the other. I didn’t read all that Skippy because who has time for it? But, judging from the length, I’d say it looks to me like the problem you have isn’t with my types who think your taking something less than “deserved” and more with the guy I mentioned in my previous post. The guy in the mirror.
And, no, I’m not doing it to get a rise out of you. I too can go get me my 50% rating. I choose not to. I can work.
I have no problems sleeping or shaving.
If you won’t read it all, then you really don’t understand the issue at all. I swear, veterans are their own worst enemy when it comes to getting meaningful reforms passed.
Here is the Cliff Notes version:
1) Pass Concurrent receipt for all. Then fix and tighten up the VA rating system. The current system is a kluge that creates as many problems as it solves. This position has been endorsed by most of the leading veterans groups.
Lee -
Of course it could just be me, but I set aside time to read and understand to the best of my limited abilities comments or postings before I respond. Keyword there being ‘before’. Out of courtesy, mostly.
Then again, I’m one of those who would actually posit blame on the donkey if the cart arrived past schedule.
Personally, I do not collect any service-related disability payments. But I do find the mention of possible service-related hearing loss useful for avoiding domicile task orders.
I’m stuck on this one. Read the whole post or not, doesn’t matter much to me. I see it very black and white – either you can work, or, you can’t work. Like I said in my very first post on this, I work with a guy who can work, and yet, he collects a full medical reitrement. There is nothing wrong with him. He can work. Cut and dried. If you can work, you don’t deserve a disability rating. Black and white with me. I make no apologies for my hard stance.