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Help Wanted

Immediate opening. Salary DOE. Job requires someone fast on his feet.

Some physical labor required.

(The guy taking the pics is a healthy reminder that “buddy” is only half a word.)

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18 comments to Help Wanted

  • claudio

    Pic #4: “Hey, where’s my lunch?”

  • Marianne Matthews

    This is a relatively small, young bear, according to my husband, who has written books about and studied polar bears. Maybe it’s a female. They’re smaller than the males, who have been measured at 18 feet tall, from nose to cold toes. But, as is often pointed out about other species, “the female of the species is deadlier than the male.” And if she has her cubs with her, she will attack and drive off those lumbering males.

    Polar bears can be cannibals of their own kind, too. Which sort of takes the whole fun Disney thing right out of the picture, doesn’t it? That bear will eat that person, if he/she is hungry and the person doesn’t step lively. If I were that person, I’d step right into that car and lock the doors and start the engine and GET MOVING.

    Marianne … who has few illusions about wild animals.

  • a healthy reminder that “buddy” is only half a word

    When I was on an Arctic under-ice expedition, we had polar bear watches when we surfaced through the ice. The M-14 was our only weapon with the wherewithal to do some damage to a bear, but every 5-7 men on the ice had to have one senior man with a .45 pistol issued. Of course, the pistol was only to shoot the slowest of the men so the bear would catch him and leave the rest to make a clean getaway.

    You wanted to make sure you weren’t in the Chief of the Boat’s group or with one of the inexperienced Ensigns as senior man in your group. In that case, you pocketed bolts and knick knacks to throw at the COB to throw off his aim while he MIGHT be shooting at the guys considered his derelicts as you were all running from a bear.

    Lucky us, we made so much noise the bears wouldn’t come near us. And all our ammo made it back into the ammo locker.

    Funny photos, Lex.

    Subsunk

  • Tom G.

    Must be a fake. Al Gore said they were all drowning. Good “buddy” comment tho.

  • JKB

    Hey buddy, I just want a sip of your Coke.

  • Nose

    You don’t have to outrun the bear, you only have to outrun the guy with you.

    You don’t have to out turn the missile…

    (Buddy being only half a word, etc.)

  • Marianne Matthews

    Tom G. … what does Al Gore know? You want to believe him or do you want to believe me and my husband? We’ve got the “street cred.” He’s just trying to pump up his poor sad ego. And sell you carbon offsets from his very own company.

    Marianne

  • Marianne,

    I think Tom was trying to make a joke……..

  • MaxDamage

    Marianne wrote: “If I were that person, I’d step right into that car and lock the doors and start the engine and GET MOVING.”

    Wait a minute… Polar bears know how to open car doors now? Smarter than they look!

    – Max

  • I too puzzle over the doofus running around the car, as if his disappearance around the corner would throw off the bear’s pursuit.

  • Advokaat

    Polar bears have no natural predators to fear. In their world, they are the top of the food chain.

    For fighter pilots, there are two kinds of planes, their own plane and targets.

    For polar bears, there are two types of animals, themselves and lunch.

  • Snake Eater

    This Gomer is left with little choice but to…

    grin and bear it…

    bear up under the strain…

    bear right at every opportunity…

    bear his teeth and pound his chest in an attempt to bearate / intimidate the bear …

    bear this experience in mind the next time he’s out looking for bear …

    and finally/thankfully… bear his buddy no ill will…

    Hey I’ve bearly scrached the surface with these lame-o bear puns…but I’ll stop for now ( I’m that kind of guy), small doses of these nuggets are all most people can bear. Best

  • V5

    Yup… as Nose said, you don’t have to outrun the bear… you only need to outrun the buddy you’re with.

    Funny “tale” Subsunk. :)

    V5

  • Tom G.

    Marianne, Al Gore would never do those things. He’s a Nobel winner with solar panels on his mansion and I have it on good authority that “ursa” in the photo is a typical albino black bear.

    And if you guys were as smart as Obama, you’d engage the bear in discussion, thereby saving your coke.

  • RonF

    Wait a minute. The vehicle in the first two pics is not the same as the one in the rest. Maybe the runner in the picture is not the owner of any of these vehicles and can’t get into any of them.

  • GEO6

    As for buddy is only half a word, I like to remind my #2 son that aviator is also only half a word, at least to the Viet Nam veterans that mentored me as a neophite.

  • jake

    Snake Eater,

    You are one Polarizing dude.

    Regards,

    Jake (Never met a pun I didn’t like.)

  • Snake Eater

    jake, Many thanks for the kind words… ” Polarizing”, indeed ( good one)… Best

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