A guy walks into a bar in wearing an Army Football jersey and carrying a cat that also has an Army jersey on with a little Army helmet on his head too.
The guy says to the bartender, “Can my cat and I watch the Army-Navy game here? My TV at home broke down and my cat and I always watch the game together.”
The bartender replies, “Normally, cats wouldn’t be allowed in my bar, but it’s not very busy in here right now, so you and the cat can have a seat at the end of the bar. But, if there’s any trouble with you or the cat, I’ll have to ask you to leave.”
The guy agrees, and he and his cat start watching the game. Pretty soon Army manages to kick a field goal and the excited cat jumps up on the bar, walks all the way down and gives everyone a high five.
The bartender says, “Hey, that’s pretty cool! What does he do for a touchdown?”
The guys answers, “I don’t know, I’ve only had him for 3 years.”
(H/T to Bou’s dad)
GO ARMY, BEAT NAVY!!!
Middle Aged guy has an unexpected MI and heart stops on OR table. He has out-of-body experience and floats up on small cloud to Pearly Gates, presents himself to St. Peter and recites name and SS#. St Peter checks the computer records.
After long delay St. Peter says: “Sorry, I can’t seem to find your name here anywhere, I’d better check with the Big Guy. Picks up cell and calls. Big Guy strolls down from hill talking on Blooth earpiece and checking his PDA for late additions. Finally, BG says: “Your in luck, there’s been a computer glitch, your not due for many, many years, go back down.”
Guy: “Great!, Btw, since I’m here, would you please answer one question?”
Big Guy: “Yes?”
Guy: “Will (fill in name of favorite historically hapless team) ever have an undefeated season?”
Big Guy: “Yeesss, but not in YOUR lifetime.”
Guy:” GREAT! I can die happy now, whenever it comes.” (Cloud and guy begin to descend, then halts)
Guy Again: “Wait! I forgot, just one more, will (blank) ever win the(if H.S., State, if College, National) Championship?”
Big Guy: ” Yeesss……But not in MY lifetime!
PS Being an LSU undergrad and having gone on (much later)to Tulane grad school, I used to tell it on traditionally hapless(in the modern era, we beat them 62-0 TWICE when I was in school) Tulane, then they went and had an undefeated season on me a few years back, so had to shift to the (then) long suffering and hapless N.O. Saints. Now that they’ve gotten good, I can’t tell the joke anymore……..
What do all West Point Cadets and USNA Midshipmen have in common?
They all got in to West Point.
So, three soldiers and a sailor are walking down the street. One after another, the three soldiers walk into a bar. The sailor ducks.
79 and a butt days, good sir, and you SHALL get your comeuppance!
GO ARMY, BEAT THOSE NASTY SQUIDS.
In just over a week, my son graduates from AIT at Fort Benning. I will be there to pin on his Infantry Cord, and to welcome him into the club. Someone in my family has served in every generation back to the Revolution. He now takes up the mantle from me, and I am quite proud of him.
However, I told him that, as his father, he has my complete support, my love and all the advice he can ask for, but for 2 days each year. The Navy’s birthday, and the Army/Navy game. On those days, he’s on his own.
congrats Tim…
pls let your son know he can come over my house those two days (but you gotta take my father in exchange)
Awesome. I’m stealing that.
Go Navy!!!! Beat Army!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhpZ7iiFc1s
Finally, a member of AW1 Tim’s family gets it right.
You know why it’s called the Army/Navy game? It’s just polite to let the losers got first.
Got several friends kids who are midshipmen, since my daughter made a couple of tries at the Academy. These kids always make me think the future can’t be too bad when we’re growing leaders like this.
OK, An entry into this lame and lamer joke-a-thon.
A dim-witted sailor( aren’t they all?) walks into a bar. He has a large frog on his head…after a moments pause within which nothing is said the bartender asks… “hey dim witted swabby guy…whats with that flippen frog on your head?” … without missing a beat and to the bartenders great surprise the frog pipes up and says in his deep froggy-like voice…” it’s a long story… but it all started as a wart on my ass”…
kinda say it all…verdad??Best
Wow Tim – that’s just incredible. What a legacy your family leaves. Thank you for you, your ancestors and your descendents.
Kris,
It amazes even me. I knew we had a long service in the ranks, but it wasn’t until one of my sisters and my father started going back through the genealogies that the names and units started to come out. I was able to match up many (but not all) with pension records through the National Archives and State Archives to get some more info on them.
It’s an ongoing project that I wish I had the time (and money) to properly invest in, but cest la vie, no?
———–
So this little kid goes into the bathroom at a local eatery, and sees a soldier washing up. The kid says “Hey Mister, are you a Soldier?” The GI says, “Yea kid. You wanna wear my beret?” The kid says “Yeah!” and with a big beaming smile the kid puts on the beret and is looking at himself in the mirror. Suddenly, the door flies open and in staggers a tall, swarthy Botswain’s
Mate, well in the bag and looking for to relieve himself.
The kid looks up at him and says “Hey mister, are you a Sailor?” The BM looks down at him, scowls, and says “Bite me, kid”.
Without missing a beat, the kid says” On no, mister, I’m not a Soldier. I’m just wearing his beret”!
——————————-
That’s a great one, Lex. I wear my blue and gold “beat army” shirt around town often and so many people either:
a. give me crap
or
b. buddy up to me like I’m “against the war.”
Heh. Can’t argue with the truth (Sez the Mizzou football player with the ROTC commission).
One reason I turned down the appointment to USMA… I wanted to play football on a team that had more than one game a year on TV.
Heh. We won’t talk about the 80′s, 90′s, and early double-otts. My recollection of Mizzou football ends after I quit playing and resumes last year.
I am an inconstant bastard.
… new gunner names?
Cheers
ROTC Regulars are the coolest. I had one for a roomy once. He was weird, and kewl&manly. A good cook, too, like most old sojers.
Midshipman goes into a bar in Philly the evening before the game. Asks the bartender if he wants to hear a joke about West Point cadets.
Chair legs scrape, and the entire starting Army defense crowds close to the Middy.
Bartender says, “You sure you want to tell that joke?”
Midshipman looks around at the large cadets looming over him and says, “What? And have to explain it 11 times?”
“What? And have to explain it 11 times?”
BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
It is to laugh.