Not just a cocktail recipe anymore:
A Dubai court sentenced two Britons to three months in prison on Thursday and ordered their subsequent deportation for having sex on a beach in the booming Muslim Gulf emirate.The pair’s defense attorney appears to be taking a page from the Monicagate notebook as well:
Michelle Palmer, 37, and Vince Acors, 34, were found guilty of having sex in a public place in the early hours of July 5 after drinking heavily.
The defence said it would appeal, although the relatively moderate ruling showed that they only committed an indecent act in public and did not actually have sex.
No word yet on whether the UAE is prepared to adjudicated on the definition of “is”.
1 1/2 oz. Schnapps, peach
1 1/2 oz. Vodka
2 oz. Cranberry Juice
2 oz. Orange Juice
2 oz. Pineapple Juice
Combine ingredients in a cocktail shaker with ice. Shake and strain into a highball glass filled with ice.
nice recipe…
i wonder what the man was drinking.
We’re doing fruit drinks now? How … non-alpha, friends. Have some Jameson’s on ice. It’s comforting, and we all need some comfort these days.
Marianne
I always thought Sex on the Beach had Tequila…or maybe that’s what I’ve told myself.
—Carlos ‘n Charley’s
—Cozumel, Mexico
—Travel from bar to cruise ship – don’t remember.
Sex on the beach is not all that it’s cracked up to be …what with all that sand and stuff…or so I’ve heard . Best
Back east, in the old days, we shared “Sand in our Schlitz”.
Once “On the Beach” was enough for me–or rather my “friend”–the female form is much more susceptible to things gritty than is the male–and that experience was so long ago (summer of 66) that it had almost faded from the memory banks–it’s not all it’s “cracked” up to be…(sorry, couldn’t resist)
Now as to the drink………
Can’t get grit in the machinery—tends to wear out too quickly as generations of grunion hunting teenagers in Southern California have discovered. And these days it’s not particularly safe to be on those beaches at night anyway.
MY friend had no compunction against the beach– when the roommates were always home (mine and hers), necessity is the mother of invention, and all that.
A big beach towel took care of the sand.
Sex on the beach is doable ONLY if you were smart enough to bring a blanket…and as a young lad with lot’s of hope, I always carried one in my trunk
The drink? I’ll stick to my Bombay and tonic.
Ahhhh…” BeachBum”…at long last all is revealed. Best
Marianne –
I love you very much. Might I suggest Macallan? An 18 is very nice, and the 21 goes down like warm water. Two fingers and neat, please.
I will now (as usual) go way off topic and talk about something that has almost nothing to do with the original post. Except for the fact that it made me think of something else.
About three years ago I used to bartend in my spare time. I’ve found that straining the pulp out of the pineapple and orange juice prior to mixing one of these makes for happier customers. That and I used to add about two ounces of coconut milk to the mixture for a little extra flavor.
Another that I came up with (very much by mistake) one night was the following:
Ingredients:
3 oz. of vodka
2 tsp. vanilla
1-2 tbsp. sugar (depending on your taste)
8 ounces cold water
Juice from three large lemons
Process:
- Combine ingredients and shake with ice until sugar dissolves
- Strain and pour over ice in a sufficiently sized frozen beer mug
Also, this I had the last time I was in Japan, and is an absolute champion. (You can ask for this during winter in Japan, as it is a seasonal thing, as “yuzu shu.”)
Ingredients:
4 oz. shochu (Japanese liquor, similar to vodka)
3 tbsp. yuzu juice (Japanese citrus fruit, tastes somewhat like a lemon and a lime at the same time with a slight orange tinge around the edges)
Cold (still) water
Process:
- Combine shochu and yuzu
- Pour over ice
- Fill remainder of glass with cold water
- Stir well and serve, garnished with a thin wedge of yuzu fruit.
Toward the middle of my bartending stint, I started serving customers Kir Royales and Kir Imperials when they were in the mood for “something interesting.” They’re simple and taste pretty darn good, too.
Kir Imperial:
Ingredients:
1 oz. Chambord (Raspberry liqueur)
Champagne (get honest champagne, it doesn’t work with the cheap stuff)
Two raspberries
Process:
- Pour champagne in a flute, leaving enough room to pour the liqueur next
- Slowly pour liqueur into champagne. (Note: this is denser and will sink to the bottom, but the liqueur will leave little lines of color through the champange.) Advanced users may utilize a bar spoon for this step.
- Gently drop the two raspberries into the flute (they should sink, but it is okay if they don’t)
Kir Royale:
Ingredients:
1:5 ratio of chardonnay to creme de cassis (blackcurrent liqueur)
Process:
- Pour five parts chardonnay into white wine glass
- Pour cassis (slowly) into wine
Depends on how entergetic the “action” is–if you thrash around enough no blanket in the world is big enough to keep those little gritty devils away from the scene of the crime.
And Drew don’t the forget the Macallan Cask with water for those who are on a slow cruise through the evening. I recently converted a couple of abstentionists (don’t say it! It’s my word and I’ll own it!) to the mix and hide to secure the bottle under lock and key. Ah me…
As for the sand, a little dermal abrasion can be…ummm…stimulating…if done right.
Drew C, dear heart … Those recipes for mixed drinks sound delicious. I wish you lived near our house. My husband is very partial to Macallen [the 18 is getting shockingly expensive and I imagine the 21 is worse]. In my wild youth and middle age I drank Kir Royale frequently and loved it, along with wine. Now, perforce, I don’t drink much of anything any more — except when deeply shocked or depressed, which I hope I won’t be on November 5. Should that happen, would you consider a flying visit to Houston, or will we have to drink our Macallen alone?
Marianne
P. S. to Drew … that’s the nicest thing anyone has said to me in a looong time. Thank you.
Marianne
Heck of a lot of good whisk(e)ys out there. I have a rather large and well-researched list, but the Malt Advocate might be a good thing to check out. Macallan drinkers might like Springbank 10, Singleton (at $35 the bottle!), Glenrothes (which is in “vintages” and thus hard to choose) and so forth. Binny’s and Sam’s in Chicago, and Park Avenue Liquors in NYC, have hand-selected casks and interesting things to try; best whisky pub I’ve seen in the States is Dundee Dell in Omaha (like DC’s Brickskeller is for beer, but in the middle of flyover country). Come on over; I’ll share a dram or two.
And TSSBP: Dubai may not be Riyadh, but it ain’t exactly Key West in season either…
WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS ABOUT ADULTERY/FORNICATION?
1. Exodus 20:14
Thou shalt not commit adultery.
Exodus 20:13-15 (in Context) Exodus 20 (Whole Chapter)
2. Leviticus 20:10
And the man that committeth adultery with another man’s wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbour’s wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.
Leviticus 20:9-11 (in Context) Leviticus 20 (Whole Chapter)
3. Deuteronomy 5:18
Neither shalt thou commit adultery.
Deuteronomy 5:17-19 (in Context) Deuteronomy 5 (Whole Chapter)
4. Proverbs 6:32
But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul.
Proverbs 6:31-33 (in Context) Proverbs 6 (Whole Chapter)
5. Jeremiah 3:8
And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also.
Jeremiah 3:7-9 (in Context) Jeremiah 3 (Whole Chapter)
6. Jeremiah 3:9
And it came to pass through the lightness of her whoredom, that she defiled the land, and committed adultery with stones and with stocks.
Jeremiah 3:8-10 (in Context) Jeremiah 3 (Whole Chapter)
7. Jeremiah 5:7
How shall I pardon thee for this? thy children have forsaken me, and sworn by them that are no gods: when I had fed them to the full, they then committed adultery, and assembled themselves by troops in the harlots’ houses.
Jeremiah 5:6-8 (in Context) Jeremiah 5 (Whole Chapter)
8. Jeremiah 7:9
Will ye steal, murder, and commit adultery, and swear falsely, and burn incense unto Baal, and walk after other gods whom ye know not;
Jeremiah 7:8-10 (in Context) Jeremiah 7 (Whole Chapter)
9. Jeremiah 23:14
I have seen also in the prophets of Jerusalem an horrible thing: they commit adultery, and walk in lies: they strengthen also the hands of evildoers, that none doth return from his wickedness; they are all of them unto me as Sodom, and the inhabitants thereof as Gomorrah.
Jeremiah 23:13-15 (in Context) Jeremiah 23 (Whole Chapter)
10. Jeremiah 29:23
Because they have committed villany in Israel, and have committed adultery with their neighbours’ wives, and have spoken lying words in my name, which I have not commanded them; even I know, and am a witness, saith the LORD.
Jeremiah 29:22-24 (in Context) Jeremiah 29 (Whole Chapter)
From King James Version
1. BATH-SHEBA (BATHSHEBA) » Adultery of (2 Samuel 11:2-5)
2. COPULATION » See ADULTERY
3. CRIMINALS » See various crimes, such as ADULTERY, ARSON, HOMICIDE, etc
4. FORNICATION » See ADULTERY
5. HARLOT (PROSTITUTE) » See ADULTERY
6. HARLOTRY » See ADULTERY
7. LASCIVIOUSNESS » See ADULTERY
8. LICENTIOUSNESS » See ADULTERY
9. LUST » See ADULTERY
10. PROSTITUTION » See ADULTERY
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS ABOUT FORNICATION?
2 Chronicles 21:11
Moreover he made high places in the mountains of Judah and caused the inhabitants of Jerusalem to commit fornication, and compelled Judah thereto.
2 Chronicles 21:10-12 (in Context) 2 Chronicles 21 (Whole Chapter)
Ezekiel 16:15
But thou didst trust in thine own beauty, and playedst the harlot because of thy renown, and pouredst out thy fornications on every one that passed by; his it was.
Ezekiel 16:14-16 (in Context) Ezekiel 16 (Whole Chapter)
Ezekiel 16:26
Thou hast also committed fornication with the Egyptians thy neighbors, great of flesh; and hast increased thy whoredoms, to provoke me to anger.
Ezekiel 16:25-27 (in Context) Ezekiel 16 (Whole Chapter)
Ezekiel 16:29
Thou hast moreover multiplied thy fornication in the land of Canaan unto Chaldea; and yet thou wast not satisfied therewith.
Ezekiel 16:28-30 (in Context) Ezekiel 16 (Whole Chapter)
Isaiah 23:17
And it shall come to pass after the end of seventy years, that the LORD will visit Tyre, and she shall turn to her hire, and shall commit fornication with all the kingdoms of the world upon the face of the earth.
Isaiah 23:16-18 (in Context) Isaiah 23 (Whole Chapter)
John 8:41
Ye do the deeds of your father. Then said they to him, We be not born of fornication; we have one Father, even God.
John 8:40-42 (in Context) John 8 (Whole Chapter)
Mark 7:21
For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders,
Mark 7:20-22 (in Context) Mark 7 (Whole Chapter)
Matthew 5:32
But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
Matthew 5:31-33 (in Context) Matthew 5 (Whole Chapter)
Matthew 15:19
For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies:
Matthew 15:18-20 (in Context) Matthew 15 (Whole Chapter)
Matthew 19:9
And I say unto you, whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her who is put away doth commit adultery.
Matthew 19:8-10 (in Context) Matthew 19 (Whole Chapter)
More results from King James Version
1. FORNICATION
2. SCOURGING » Prescribed in the Mosaic law for committing the sin of fornication (Leviticus 19:20; Deuteronomy 22:18)
3. SENSUALITY » See FORNICATION
4. VOWS » INSTANCES OF » Of Job, not to entertain thoughts of fornication (Job 31:1)
5. WOMEN » INSTANCES OF » Dinah, in her fornication (Genesis 34:1,2)
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS ABOUT FORNICATION?
2 Chronicles 21:11
Moreover he made high places in the mountains of Judah and caused the inhabitants of Jerusalem to commit fornication, and compelled Judah thereto.
2 Chronicles 21:10-12 (in Context) 2 Chronicles 21 (Whole Chapter)
Ezekiel 16:15
But thou didst trust in thine own beauty, and playedst the harlot because of thy renown, and pouredst out thy fornications on every one that passed by; his it was.
Ezekiel 16:14-16 (in Context) Ezekiel 16 (Whole Chapter)
Ezekiel 16:26
Thou hast also committed fornication with the Egyptians thy neighbors, great of flesh; and hast increased thy whoredoms, to provoke me to anger.
Ezekiel 16:25-27 (in Context) Ezekiel 16 (Whole Chapter)
Ezekiel 16:29
Thou hast moreover multiplied thy fornication in the land of Canaan unto Chaldea; and yet thou wast not satisfied therewith.
Ezekiel 16:28-30 (in Context) Ezekiel 16 (Whole Chapter)
Isaiah 23:17
And it shall come to pass after the end of seventy years, that the LORD will visit Tyre, and she shall turn to her hire, and shall commit fornication with all the kingdoms of the world upon the face of the earth.
Isaiah 23:16-18 (in Context) Isaiah 23 (Whole Chapter)
John 8:41
Ye do the deeds of your father. Then said they to him, We be not born of fornication; we have one Father, even God.
John 8:40-42 (in Context) John 8 (Whole Chapter)
Mark 7:21
For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders,
Mark 7:20-22 (in Context) Mark 7 (Whole Chapter)
Matthew 5:32
But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
Matthew 5:31-33 (in Context) Matthew 5 (Whole Chapter)
Matthew 15:19
For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies:
Matthew 15:18-20 (in Context) Matthew 15 (Whole Chapter)
Matthew 19:9
And I say unto you, whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her who is put away doth commit adultery.
Matthew 19:8-10 (in Context) Matthew 19 (Whole Chapter)
More results from King James Version
1. FORNICATION
2. SCOURGING » Prescribed in the Mosaic law for committing the sin of fornication (Leviticus 19:20; Deuteronomy 22:18)
3. SENSUALITY » See FORNICATION
4. VOWS » INSTANCES OF » Of Job, not to entertain thoughts of fornication (Job 31:1)
5. WOMEN » INSTANCES OF » Dinah, in her fornication (Genesis 34:1,2)
Thanks to the Johnstown Chapter of the Ministry for the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice for that educational trip back through the Old Testament, sprinkled with a bit of Matthew just to catch us up to two millenia gone.
In the interests of greater understanding of the above-mentioned texts, I would like to note [as you already know] that adultery and fornication are not the same thing. Adultery is, according to dictionary definition, a married person having intercourse with a person he or she is not married to. Intercourse, on the other hand, is two persons having sexual relations with each other, neither of whom is married to the other. It is not made clear whether this latter activity is a Sin, and why, at least I could never quite figure out from my early Bible studies why this was such a Big Time sin, if the two persons involved in this charming activity were both single. And fond of each other.
I still can’t.
Obviously, there are a lot of people in our world who must agree with me.
Marianne, who has fond memories…
Lex — you gotta’ tighten up that “requires moderation” filter, lad.
Rev. Dr. Chapomatic — ahhhh, Springbank. Ahhh, Campbeltown. Ahhh, RAF Macrahanish. Ahhh, first hole at the Macrahanish golf club.
I don’t think Macallan drinkers would like Springbank. That sherry cask aging produces too mellow a taste to move quickly to a something, I think, closer to Glenlivet with a punch. Then there is the Talisker…..
Oh, I think it’s just useful to let the crazies across the threshold from time to time. Makes the rest of us feel saner.
And we could all use a bit of that.
Les McFall has an interesting way to deal with the exception clause in Matthew 19:9. He has written a 43 page paper that reviews the changes in the Greek made by Erasmus that effect the way Matthew 19:9 has been translated. I reviewed McFall’s paper at Except For Fornication Clause of Matthew 19:9. I would love to hear some feedback on this position.
Sorry, still reading this, and can’t quite understand that whole “put away my wife” thing. Does this mean I can’t have another wife, or is this merely saying I can’t have a mistress?
Because mistress could be kind of cool, have a nooner over the lunch break and such and pay for an apartment and such.
A second wife? Comes with a second mother-in-law, and if all is not kept in balance a second house.
Which, yeah, maybe Brigham Young thought it a good idea but he had something like 27 wives. I dare say he didn’t have half the trouble with them I’ve had with the one of mine.
Not to mention the mother-in-law.
– Max