Credo
"Sign on, young man, and sail with me. The stature of our homeland is no more than the measure of ourselves. Our job is to keep her free. Our will is to keep the torch of freedom burning for all. To this solemn purpose we call on the young, the brave, the strong, and the free. Heed my call, Come to the sea. Come Sail with me." -- John Paul Jones
"Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature" --George Bernard Shaw, "Caesar and Cleopatra"
"And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music."--Friedrich Nietzsche
"A kind Providence has placed in our breasts a hatred of the unjust and cruel, in order that we may preserve ourselves from cruelty and injustice. They who bear cruelty, are accomplices in it. The pretended gentleness which excludes that charitable rancour, produces an indifference which is half an approbation. They never will love where they ought to love, who do not hate where they ought to hate."--Edmund Burke
“You say that it is your custom to burn widows. Very well. We also have a custom: when men burn a woman alive, we tie a rope around their necks and we hang them. Build your funeral pyre; beside it, my carpenters will build a gallows. You may follow your custom. And then we will follow ours.”--General Sir Charles Napier
"Μολὼν λαβέ" -- Leonidas
"Blogito Ergo Sum" -- Neptunus Lex
Oh good grief.
Our local post office seems to average one bomb scare each year. The last one was a box of Edision cylinders – the predecessors to the vinyl LP. Apparently they were a little greasy… and the shape immediately made the postal types think “pipe bomb.”
Fortunately they didn’t kill them – they were just being shipped to a buyer.
One wonders if EOD will follow up with the addressee. Perhaps we should add “ship batteries separately” to the list of instructions for packages being sent overseas?
Geez Lex, I just spit up coffee all over my laptop.
boy, there’s some sort of joke there, but I just can’t quite bring myself to go there …
The straight-ahead dead-pan clinical
military format description is the thing that makes such things as this LOL priceless. I have a similarly veined one from Vietnam taken from a USMC sitrep about a “VC Tiger” encountered while in “ndp” near the DMZ and Laotian border area which ended the clinical physical description (8′x4′, etc)
and the hilarious (in retrospect at a distance) Tiger’s attempts to drag the sleeping Lcpl away by the leg with the statement: “Tiger had green eyes.”
PS: We heard the Tiger story via part of the daily intel DISUM (Daily Intelligence Summary) we AF types would get to keep us up to speed with what was happening on the ground in I-Corps. The intell guy (who ALWAYS had one humorous bit thrown in in each briefing played it Joe Friday just-the-facts-mam with a straight face. We ROTFLMAOPIMP roared!
Correction: I guess the collective would be: “ROTFLOAOPIOP”
…and they probably played the poor sap’s name around the base. If he didn’t die of embarrassment, he’s probably gone looking for another base to hang out at….after changing his name.
BTW and FYI, it wasn’t mine. Last time in Tijuana (’87) I traded mines for a velvet Elvis.
Thankyouverymuch.
Over the years I worked on a number of the major airlines’ largest baggage handling systems – this kind of thing happens all the time with them.
They don’t shoot the luggage though.
Jeez, and I thought my lady friend’s comment about BOB standing for “battery operated boyfriend” instead of “blue on blue” was risque.
Can’t you just here the discussion between two security agents. “We just decided to track the package to the addressee. When we found him it was concealed and operational. Then, it went off.” “Kill him?” “No, just wounded.”
So now I have to ask myself, was the item in question finally delivered to the recipient? And was the smirk properly hidden during delivery?
Which, if you were to order such an item in a plain envelope and it arrives with scorch marks and perhaps a bullet hole or two, who’s going to raise an official complaint? And is that covered under warrantee?
So many questions, so few examples.
– Max
blowback