Recently a friend received a parrot as a gift.
The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.
My friend tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to “clean up” the bird’s vocabulary.
Finally, he was fed up and he yelled at the parrot.
The parrot yelled back.
My friend shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. So, in desperation, he threw up my hands, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.
For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed.
Then suddenly there was total quiet.
Not a peep was heard for over a minute.
Fearing that I’d hurt the parrot,
He quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto his outstretched arms and said
“I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions.
I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior.”
My friend was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude.
As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued,
“May I ask what the turkey did?”
Happy Thanksgiving!
Oh, and this may be a more familiar place setting for my prospective friends in Texas.
Update: Jules has a few other things to be thankful for. Yorta go read it.
In that second picture, there should be guns, and she should be putting a deep fried opossum on the table. Because that’s how we roll here in Red State America.
Happy Thanksgiving, y’all.
Thanks, Captain Lex, for the parrot joke. Like the farmer said when he bopped the stubborn mule over the head with a 2 by 4, “first, you gotta get their attention.”
What’s this about “prospective friends” in Texas? We’re already your fond friends and admirers. We just want you closer, that’s all.
A Happy Thanksgiving to you and your wonderful family.
Marianne
And now, Dear Lord, we do give thanks for the unpardoned one which doth grace our table. Amen…
Happy Thanksgiving to all!
Texas? Oh, The Kat is soooo not going to be happy with PoppaLex…until the Jumper strolls up…and then all is forgiven.
Texans offer to rescue you from the cultural and financial fate worse than death known as California and THIS is how you thank us? As JarJar Binks would say “How Woooooood!”
Happy Thanksgiving and you’re still welcome in the Hill Country anytime. Remember “Life is too short to live in California”
Juvat: That’s why I divorced the PRC and moved to Puget Sound. Obama would love the place, mostly because it isn’t what it once was…
Hoary old joke, but still cute and draws a chuckle.
Happy Thanksgiving to all the denizens of LN.
Indeed, life is too short to live in LaLa land.
Happy Thanksgiving, Lex and all.
~ Even if you a month late. ~
That was suppose to read “are a month late”.
Yeah, that’s it.
re: “a month late”
We just had to wait for it to get cool
That flippen joke is older than dirt… but I suppose it’s still kinda, sorta, maybe almost semi-cute…must think on it…
Anyway…Happy Thanksgiving to all you fine Gomers and super fine Lex Babes out there ( you know who you are) enjoy the day… and please don’t forget to say one for our troops…God bless them….every one. Best
Yep, I suppose you will be stocking up on that firewood now.
Battening down the hatches and bringing out the parkas.
And to think your choice is between SoCal and Texas. Decisions, decisions … it’s sad, I tell ya. Oh well, Happy Turkey Day, anyway.
CAPT Lex,
Here’s wishing you and all the crew a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday! Enjoy the gatherings of family.
[I'll be home later today. Must have nose to grindstone so we can venture to the southlands of Sandy Eggo for all of next week.]
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!
(From a Tejas home that looks more like the 1st picture than the 2nd. . .but I’m working on it
)
Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours, Lex!
And the same to all who comment here, as well… all y’all (the required Tejas patter) are perhaps the finest commentariat on the ‘net, bar none.
Happy Thanksgiving to you all.
Family and friends together! We have so very much for which to be thankful … including the fine company here.
The best of the season from the North Puget Sound!
Happy Thanksgiving! As the day draws to a close (at least here on the east coast) I hope you all had a lovely day filled with warm embrace of family & friends.
I won’t eat for another week I’m sure.
And most definitely we toasted our brave warriors today – in thanx for them. Especially a friend of my niece currently on his 2nd tour in Iraq and the nephew of my closest friend, a Marine who was out on patrol in al Anbar today.
Thank god for them.
The toast around our table today was “to family, God, and country.”
Happy Thanksgiving to all.
Brian
Ever take a sober, reflective look at all you have to be thankful for, when you’re sitting at the dining room table with family around, pondering those brave folks standing watch around the world and the folks who made that meal of yours available, and the truck drivers and pilots and train engineers and such who don’t get the day off because *somebody* has to be responsible and get your stuff to you..
Maybe reflect upon the aunts and uncles and grandparents who didn’t come back from defending your way of life, folks you may not have even met but through a picture in the family album, a lean young person in uniform.
Ever ponder that, and kind of wonder inside if you deserve it? If you’ve earned it?
We live in a time of wonderment. I hope I’m considered deserving by all those folks better than me who’ve gone before.
Work to do. Have to meet their expectations.
– Max
Another parrot joke to level the playing field. Obviously not about Naval parrots.
Subject: TALKING BIRDS- >
A lady approaches her priest and tells him,
“Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.”
“What do they say?” the priest inquired.
They only know how to say, ‘Hi, we’re prostitutes.
Want to have some fun?’”
“That’s terrible!” the priest exclaimed,
“but I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots whom taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that
terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship.”
“Thank you!” the woman responded.
The next day the woman brings her female
parrots to the priest’s house. His two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her two female parrots in with the male parrots.
Immediately, the female parrots say, “Hi, we’re prostitutes, want to have some fun?”
> > >
One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and exclaims, “Put the beads away. Our prayers have been answered.”