There are 20 days, nine hours, zero minutes and 33 seconds of shopping days left ’til Christmas.
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Speaking of TimelinesBy lex, on December 5th, 2008
24 comments to Speaking of Timelines |
Targets of Opportunityblog advertising is good for you Credo"Sign on, young man, and sail with me. The stature of our homeland is no more than the measure of ourselves. Our job is to keep her free. Our will is to keep the torch of freedom burning for all. To this solemn purpose we call on the young, the brave, the strong, and the free. Heed my call, Come to the sea. Come Sail with me." -- John Paul Jones "Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature" --George Bernard Shaw, "Caesar and Cleopatra" "And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music."--Friedrich Nietzsche "A kind Providence has placed in our breasts a hatred of the unjust and cruel, in order that we may preserve ourselves from cruelty and injustice. They who bear cruelty, are accomplices in it. The pretended gentleness which excludes that charitable rancour, produces an indifference which is half an approbation. They never will love where they ought to love, who do not hate where they ought to hate."--Edmund Burke “You say that it is your custom to burn widows. Very well. We also have a custom: when men burn a woman alive, we tie a rope around their necks and we hang them. Build your funeral pyre; beside it, my carpenters will build a gallows. You may follow your custom. And then we will follow ours.”--General Sir Charles Napier "Μολὼν λαβέ" -- Leonidas "Blogito Ergo Sum" -- Neptunus Lex Amazon AssociateFor the Effort!Winnar! Subscribe CategoriesPagesTagsacademy
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No experience necessary.
My wife reminded me of the same timeline this morning … “can we talk about Christmas shopping, there’s only 20 days left” … gasp!
I recommend Gunbroker.com.
You can find something for everyone…
Guys .. guys … you make me cry. You, all of you, are smarter than this. The best way to pick out a gift for her that your wife will love, is to take a little Quiet Time, away from the TV on Sunday afternoon, and remember how it used to be, before the busyness of Life and Kids overwhelmed you. She fell in love with you once, didn’t she? Think, for gosh sakes!. What does she really love, but feels too busy or too cash-strapped to allow herself.? Buy it for her, and give it to her on Christmas, preferably in private, and see how very lucky you’ll get.
Have a great Christmas, fellas!
Marianne
So, Marianne, you’re saying I should just buy her a 19 year-old guy with the only thing on his mind being wild, steamy, sweaty jungle sex? That ought to cost me about nothing — supply is huge and if my college days are any indication demand isn’t much. Was pretty much zero, in fact.
Because that pretty much describes me at that age, and, well, ever since the first child suddenly we both have More Important things than our hedonistic desires to consider.
My Christmas present to My Good Wife will be a baby-sitter. So we can get the heck out of Dodge and enjoy an evening for a change. Take her to dinner at one of those posh places where the napkins aren’t made of paper.
Side note, for those who remember the tale of my daughter. Said daughter has an allergy to soy and dairy products, hence my wife is on a restricted diet while we’re (she is) breast-feeding. Being a supporting, nurturing, helpful sort of guy I took to working from home for the past year and eat the same meals My Good Wife eats so I can help with the Little Tricycle Motor.
Lost 20 lbs. I thought I had cancer! Even scheduled a doctors visit and had blood work done, just to be sure. The price of fast food and the lifestyle of meals on the go is in the waistline.
My advice, hire somebody to take over her responsibilities for a day and go pretend you’re still 19 years old again. Hotel, dinner, perhaps a nice bottle of wine to be included.
Chicks dig that stuff, I’m telling ya…
– Max
My dad gave my mom a garage door opener once – for their 30th wedding anniversary. My mom? She gave him an expensive watch for that anniversary. Oh yeah – doghouse and dad were together for a while after that. He only lived another 10 years after that – and never hit the doghouse again.
I’m lucky that my hubby has never had to visit the doghouse – anytime. Yes, I am blessed and I never forget it.
Then again – I make it pretty easy for him. Jewelry. Did I mention jewelry?
Cuz jewelry does work. Every. Time.
Max, my friend … you are a true romantic, and you’ve got the absolute right idea. What you both need is more of each other, unencumbered by responsibilities, and getting a baby sitter and spending a night on the town together should be a wonderful treat for both of you.
As far as the studly 19-year old goes, send him over to my house.
And, as Kris points out, jewelry does work, every time.
Marianne
As a man who loves women – and who concedes no advantage to any other man in that arena – I must confess that this oft-expressed feminine love of jewelry is occasionally nettlesome, to me.
There is great beauty to be found in small things that shine and glitter, to be sure, but also great expense. A bauble is bought, wailed over, worn once or twice and then tossed into a box, trotted out ever more infrequently as its novelty wears off. A sunken cost sits there in the darkness, seemingly appreciated more for the augmented appetite it engenders than for its own intrinsic worth. And too, each ever more expensive acquisition only sets the floor for the next purchase – the jewelry box is literally a hole with no bottom.
In fact, the expense seems almost the entire point: A faux diamond cleverly crafted of paste glitters as brightly as does the real thing to all but the closest of inspection, and yet is deemed worthless, base and ignoble.
A well-wrought fishing rod or shotgun, by comparison, provides enduring value, enduring pleasure and brings larder to the table as well – lovely, practical and best of all, we both may use it!
Wait! Stop… I don’t want to go to the dog house…
Flight Lead has simple tastes. Simply the best, thank you very much. Yurman on the box will do every time, as will Italian leather. So it is Furla this year.
See Lex, it ain’t that hard.
Wait! Stop… I don’t want to go to the dog house…
Good indicator is when you see hands on the hips….thumbs pointed forward.
The Navy saw fit to arrange it such that I missed our first 3 anniversaries, several birthdays, and a Christmas and New Years. All of this, of course led to the only conclusion possible.
Jewelry…lots and lots of jewelry.
Good hunting.
Brian
And of course, there’s a woman’s second best friend…Chocolate. We’re fortunate to have The0′s in Seattle, where they start from the bean and work their way to artistic fulfillment. Many varieties to be found for the most discerning of tastes.
All for to accompany the ribbon and bow atop her very newest and bestest friend(s)…being a chef and all, ya know.
Um – there is something deeply wrong with that scenario. A “bauble” (such an insignificant word for things as glorious as diamonds, sapphires, pearls, opals…Ok where was I? Oh yes…) is meant to be worn with life and lust.
Yes. Lust.
The novelty should never wear off. My god, perish the thought. Each piece of jewelry is to be worn with love, and great care.
They may slip down in the rotation every so often, but tossed in a box? Good god man, are you trying to kill me?!
Sorry Kris, from my experience I cannot see it.
Traditionally, women are given jewelry as a gift of wealth, precious metals and gems being things she can survive on after Dear Hubby departs on the Crusades or something. Traditionally, a wife also came with a dowry, Dad’s offering to some other fella to take upon himself her upkeep and keep her clothed as well as she had been previously.
Remember, this comes from times when women could not own land and could not vote.
Mine didn’t come with a dowry. She came with two horses and too many cats, come to think of it. So I didn’t marry her for money, obviously.
These days we have life insurance, so a diamond necklace means less about wealth wrapped up in the diamond markets and more about glamor, she’s already taken care of if I die.
But rings? Baubles. We’ve been married 11 years, I’d take off my wedding ring before welding or pulling good and hard on a wrench, she’d do the same before washing dishes or doing heavy lifting. We cared for them.
Then we had the Little Tricycle Motor. For three months we had to remove our rings and scrub the same as surgeons do before seeing her. Took about five days and we quit wearing our rings. Seemed insignificant.
It’s been a year and I’ve not taken that wedding ring out of the box. Neither has My Good Wife.
We *know* we’re married, we need no rings to remind us. They’ll likely stay tossed in a box until such time as they get passed on to our daughter and son-in-law.
My ring was worn by my father, hers comes from my great grandmother. To our marriage they mean very little, they have more value as things we can touch of our heritage. They have so little value as wealth neither of us care.
Oh, when I was in college I gave her a ring, that she might go steady with me. Given she had horses I thought a horse-shoe nail bent round into a ring would be mighty thoughtful.
Yeah, didn’t go over well. Still learning from that.
– Max
Max, the boxed dozen long-stemmed … mushrooms got a rather bemused reception.
They were just so neat, growing on the pine stump. Stipes (that’s the stems) 9-12″ long, with a little cap on top.
And a friend had a florist’s box that once contained a dozen roses that he didn’t need…
She eventually married me anyway. It’s been 35 years now, and I think I got away with it.
Seeing the reaction of the Wimmens
here I might as well toss my two insensitive cents in..
My wife is an RN, and thus spends LOTS of time on her feet. Back when I was newly married some 35 yrs ago and knew ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about women (as opposed to now, when I have finally improved to NEXT-TO-NOTHING–I’m a fast learner) I bought her one of those portable heated/power vibrating massage foot-baths for her for Christmas thinking it would be warmly received as the answer to her pains and prayers……
Had to go buy a dog just so I would have a Dog House to sleep in……
Okay, I might as well come out of the closet and admit it:
I’m weird.
1. Rings: Max, while I think I understand, on one level it’s still terribly sad. Maybe it’s the (classic) Romantic in me, but symbols mean a lot. I think a wedding ring on a man is incredibly sexy because it is a symbol of his love and commitment for one woman, a public declaration of devotion and steadfastness (yes, I assume the best). It’s a great big shout of “I’m with her!” And what women wouldn’t find that attitude heart-warming?
2. Jewelry in general? Bah. I do admire truly gorgeous and valuable works of art in that form, but I don’t even have my ears pierced. Jewelry is an annoying accessory I have to match to outfits that don’t involve T-shirts, much like the irritation of matching shoes to the outfit (did I mention I’m weird…?).
3. As a woman with chronic, severe foot pain, I would’ve LOVED a nice foot massager. *happy sigh*
Now, would I melt if my theoretical beloved placed a beautiful and expensive bauble around my neck? Quite probably, but that’s not the only way to do it…
My most treasured piece of jewelry is a very tiny and relatively inexpensive pendant, a miniature Harley Davidson logo in silver and gold. It was a gift from a wounded soldier I had “adopted” before he was wounded; we were later reunited through my work with Valour-IT. Priceless.
It IS the thought that counts. The complication for some of you men is that the thought isn’t always expressed very clearly/effectively.
(Rereading my comment has me worrying: Max, I hope I didn’t given the impression I was drawing a parallel between depth of feeling/devotion in marriage and the wearing of the ring… because I certainly am not. I was simply trying to say that the ring as public declaration of what is privately true has always struck me as a beautiful thing.)
I’m not one for jewelry. Never have been. I even came equipped with my own engagement ring (my Grandmother’s). I like simple and elegant. I usually wind up with simple.
But that’s ok with me.
MaxD, to thump an old table, read http://www.crossfit.com on nutrition. You don’t have to go Paleo or whatever, but I’ve learned that eating well on the road is usually faster and cheaper than fast food. Good nutrition, sound physical training, you might not need that 19 year old after all.
Max – Having been held captive by two infants, I can tell you that if my husband gave me a “totally planned weekend away” I would tell him how grateful I was in spades!
Did I mention how grateful I would be???
Great Christmas present, go with it!
Heh — our first Christmas, Husband got me a gun, a mop and broom, a cookbook, and perfume.
I could catch supper, cook supper, clean up after supper, and smell good the whole time.
I have told that story for nigh on 32 years now. We laugh a lot in our house, if you can tell, which makes the 32 years go by a whole lot faster than they should.
Most other wives gave him the dirty looks and wondered why he wasn’t in the doghouse — the husbands just high-fived him. I love him anyway.
Needless to say — he DID learn a lesson in the repeating of the tale over so many years, though, and my presents have improved.
Babs, would it disappoint you to think that the male of the species might just be counting on that gratitude and consider the investment worthwhile?
Because, for $70 at a Holiday Inn Express, $30 for the babysitter, and another $50 for a nice meal and perhaps a movie, He is of the opinion he has a happy Spousal Unit. This may very well translate into He, umm.. getting lucky.
Spending $150 on a ring, a necklace, a bauble, while probably full of promise, doesn’t remove the show-stopper to getting lucky that is an infant fully aware that the world revolves around her and by gosh the parents must know of this travesty.
Takes a babysitter to relax the parents.
So, yeah, it might just be that we’re selfish and consider the money well-spent. The hope here is that our wives consider it well-spent too.
I’d let you know how this works out but, well, modesty forbids.
– Max
FBL, no worries, I know what you’re saying and while it is a laudable public display, those rings, and perhaps something My Good Wife and I should start doing again, it’s still merely a symbol.
Symbols are fine, proof is in the day-t0-day, where I’ve never been disappointed.
But perhaps that’s a guy thing…
– Max