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Student Revolts

Iowahawk imagines what might have been if the NYU revolutionaries had only applied their skills passions more practically:

Major stock indexes posted broad gains on heavy trading early Tuesday on news that a rogue group of student protesters from New York University had taken over the White House and barricaded themselves in the Oval Office. The Dow posted a 1100 point (17%) gain in the first hour of trading, wiping out nearly all of its loss since January 20 and almost 35% of losses since November 4.

“Finally, we’re seeing encouraging signs of sanity in Washington,” said UBS market analyst Jane Cohen.

Alas, it was not to be.

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14 comments to Student Revolts

  • Zane

    Oh, those crazy studens!

    Typo in the headline alert.

  • lex

    Oh, if only I had been a better studen!

    (And if WordPress’ spell-checker scanned the title box)

  • virgil xenophon

    Iowahawk is not only a national treasure that should be made Library of Congress poet/author (whatevvver) emeritus in the next GOP Admin; when he finally kicks off his remains should be rushed to cyro to be saved and re-awakened for the edification of later generations.

  • Marianne Matthews

    What fascinates me about the end of this story is the lack of realistic thinking on the part of the rebellious students. Of course they were going to be dispersed. No brutality about it, unless you consider realism brutal. And they obviously do.

    I suspect that they’ll get the ACLU involved in a suit against the university. Battling against reality is a no-win game, but they’ll try it. Bet that if they do, the school administration will fold.

    How ignoble is Man … and Woman, of course.

    Marianne

  • virgil xenophon

    Re: the NYU students:

    What a cluster-F*#^K! If I really, REALLY thought for one minute these/those students represented the face of our future; not only would I “weep for the future” but I would devoutly pray that the Jihadists could gain control for just 24 hrs and just over the NYU campus. THEN we’d see how much these morons still hewed to the “non-violent” revolutionary crap.

    As Bugs B. would say: “What a bunch of Maroons!” Or to quote Daffy: “Ha Ha, it is to laff.”

    What a pathetic bunch of delusional poseurs……….. Talk about perverted priorities!

  • Edward

    Behold the product of our progressive educational system. It has taken more than 30 years of dumbing down the curriculum and replacing it with hate-the-USA propaganda, but the Gramscian March has borne the rotten fruit at last.

  • Hilarious.

    “This is a democracy! This is a democracy!”
    Right on, dude, a democracy wherein you are trespassing on someone else’s private property. Although I almost had to feel sorry for the camera guy, it was like he was trying to herd a group of stray cats. :D

  • Edward

    Lex,

    You mis-titled the blog entry.

    Not “Student Revolts”

    But “Revolting Students”

    Much more accurate, don’t you think?

  • Bruce Jones

    “Obviously, I am dealing with inferior mentalities!”

    I prefer the earlier Daffy Duck cartoons; he was much more rascally.

  • Wilko

    The campus protests of the ’60′s were shameful.
    These are dum.
    “remember mud spelled backwards is dum” (Bugs)

    My son was on campus during the NIU shootings last year so I have a problem with anyone taking over a campus building these days.

  • Dang, Virgil! I was gonna write that Iowahawk is a national treasure, but you beat me to it!

    You should look up his post about swapping a tank engine into a Ford pickup truck. I think it was the 60-degree V-8 used in some M4 Shermans.

  • jm

    I would note that while NYU Students were protesting, down at Penn State they were raising money for kids with cancer and managed to pull in roughly a million more than last year. Let those guys take over the government, and you might get that recovery in the Dow

  • jm

    Actually, disregard my previous comment. After watching that video for the 3rd time with a combination of amusement and horror, I apologize for my generation

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