I always knew that Michael Kinsley was a clever lad, even when I didn’t agree with his political prescriptions. Which was pretty much always.
Still, I never knew the man for an ironist, and it was with real pleasure that I read his most recent recommendation to change the US national anthem to something easier for him to sing and less replete with icky martial stuff like bombs and rockets and such:
“The Star-Spangled Banner” is notoriously unsingable. A professor of music, Caldwell Titcomb of Brandeis, pointed out years ago in the New Republic that its melody spans nearly two octaves, when most people are good for one octave, max. The first eight lines are one enormous sentence with subordinate clauses, leaving no really good place to take a breath. There are far too many mandatory leaps off the high board (“. . . what so PROU-dly we hail . . .”).
The melody is lifted from an old English drinking song. The lyrics are all about bombs and war and bloodshed — and not in a good way. By the penultimate verse, the song has turned really nasty: “No refuge could save the hireling and slave/From the terror of flight or the gloom of the grave.” In the first verse — the one we generally sing — there is only one reference to any value commonly associated with America: “land of the free.” By contrast, “home of the brave” is empty bravado. There is nothing in the American myth (let alone reality) to suggest that we are braver than anyone else.
Rarely has a political pundit so deftly crafted and then skewered the stereotypically effete liberal intellectual wussie. More rarely still has one done so so self-deprecatingly. Normally a serious political commenter, Kinsley no doubt ventures so far afield because there is nothing at all noteworthy occurring in the political realm these days. The levers of power are all – finally – in the correct hands and everything is perfect.
The whole thing makes me almost want to take his lunch money from him. In appreciation!
It really is a stunning bit of theater.
You: Dude, I don’t think he was kidding.
Me: Cracka, please. This is art, we’re talking here.
Show some respect.
I’m the cracka above – I didn’t think he was kidding and even blogged about it tonite.
These are my comments earlier over to TAH, regarding the scurrilous knave in question:
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I am not a man prone to violence over the ramblings of a beta male douche bag. However, for a minute or two, I considered finding the “man” in question, and giving him a slap upside his face.
What caused me to repudiate such an action was concern over what sort of a douchebaggerly disease I might contract just by the merest of contact with his beta-male skin.
I think a better response would be to hire a marching band to stand outside his house and play the National Anthem 24/7 until he recounts his perfidy and submits his resignation.
respects,
I certainly agree with Tim on Kinsley’s Beta male status. Frankly, I’ve never been able to regard the man as a serious commentator. I watched him too many times being put in his place by Pat Buchanan on Crossfire, and Buchanan didn’t even have to try hard.
“Liberal, elite wussie.” Lex, you left off snob. Kinsley is very, very snobbish with anyone who does not agree with his leftist idiocy.
QM –
Minor point, but our host used the word ‘effete’ to describe Kinsley not ‘elite.’ No doubt because while we have elite military forces, there is no such thing as an elite commentator.
Other than that, you are spot on.
Obviously hit me wrong. Kinsley, however, does see himself as elite. He showed it repeatedly on Crossfire.
We could always sing the theme to “Team America”
[...] Atlantic Correspondents, Neptunus Lex, Hot Air, The Opinionator, Argghhh! and This ain’t Hell [...]
Ever year some liberal wuss gets his or her panties in a knot over some aspect of patriotism. If it’s not one things it’s another.
As my SGT used to say, they are wrong as two boys kissing in church. I guess Michael Kinsey is to history as Paris Hilton and Britney Spears were to music.
I for one like the rocket’s read glare and not just because I’m a 14E.
I can think of no more appropriate source for our national anthem’s melody than that of an “old English drinking song”.
That it’s lyrics are full of illustrative stanzas of war and it’s effects is also appropriate, as our nation was born in strife, and has lent it’s well-trained blood and treasure to the cause of freeing enslaved peoples from their shackles since we threw off our own.
Mr. Kinsley may take some umbrage of a rube-type sort if he so chooses, but he is admonished to consider that his ability to voice such displeasure is firmly grounded upon and dependent on, the sacrifices of better men and women than he can ever imagine.
V/R,
AW1 Tim
Now, this was a “smart” character, he took his shoes off, not watching where he was going, he stepped in it. It was centered on the toes. Not everybody was as educated, as this individual, Thank God. Some of the most beloved music in this Country is based on old drinking songs.
BTW, off topic, Lex, nice layout.
Grumpy
Grumpy … You’re right, friend. “Some of the most beloved music in this country is based on old drinking songs…” like “Farewell to Grog.” “For tonight we’ll merry merry be, For tonight we’ll merry merry be, For tonight we’ll merry merry be, Tomorrow we’ll be sober.” Words to live by, you must admit.
Marianne
How exactly does he think the country was freed from the British? What was the cost of the recently remembered invasion of Europe in 1944? Does he think we keep our freedom by well reasoned arguments in the U.N.? Did he miss the F18s and the tanks? What about all those scary black rifles that the Army and the Marines have?
I can see a reasonable argument that a different song might be easier to sing. But if it doesn’t recognize the bloody price paid for our freedoms, it won’t be a national anthem. Our freedom was bought by young men dying, and there were damn sight was some bombs bursting in air along the way.
__________________________________________________________________________
As far AW1 Tim’s suggestion of slapping him, I’m okay with it if you keep doing it until he hits you back. Then at least you could say he learned something.
ASM826,
I’m more concerned that he’d never quite figure it out, and I’d end up with a combo of tennis elbow and carpal tunnel syndrome, while he just lay on the floor, in a fetal position, whimpering pitifully.
Respects,
There is an old funny story about a Marine involved in a discussion with an earnest pacifist. The pacifist is espousing the theory that violence is always wrong in every situation, no exceptions. The Marine finally agrees that he is right, then punches the man in the face.
The pacifist gets up off the ground and indignantly asks the Marine what he was doing. The Marine says, “Well, I know now that you are right. Violence is always wrong, so I can strike you with worrying that you hit me back. It’s wrong, but I’m enjoying it. Luckily for me, you are a man of strong principles. So you would never strike me back, isn’t that right?”
The pacifist agrees, and the Marine hits him again. “Man, that was great!”, the Marine enthuses.
It takes longer this time, but hold to his ideas, the pacifist agrees once again that any physical violence would be wrong and disrupt the moral fabric of society.
The Marine hits him again. “C’mon, get up again, I think I’m beginning to understand”, the Marine says.
And so it goes, until finally the pacifist is so enraged that he takes a weak punch at the Marine. The Marine doesn’t dodge the blow, but allows it to land. He lightly slaps the ex-pacifist and receives another punch for his efforts.
Then he takes a step back and says, “This is an important lesson. Pacifism is a luxury, only the protected can afford it. The difference between right and wrong is not if we use violence, but why.”
Well said, my friend, well said!
Notoriously unsingable? I guess Kinsey has never been to a small town football game, or a Boy Scout Court of Honor, or a high school concert. When Americans stand together and sing the Star-Spangled Banner, it is the most beautiful song in the world.
But I can understand why Michael Kinsey has trouble singing it—he doesn’t have enough testosterone to hit those low notes.
Thank you, ASM826, for the parable of the Marine and the pacifist. I find it amazing how many superior people just cannot wrap their minds around the self-evident truth contained therein.
” By contrast, “home of the brave” is empty bravado. There is nothing in the American myth (let alone reality) to suggest that we are braver than anyone else.”
The constant drumbeat of “Progressive Anti Americanism” drones on.
It takes a culture steeped in a perception of a “Home of the Brave” to grow youngsters to land at Normandy, Iwo Jima and especially Guadalcanal. Or for that matter, to climb and fight in Afghani mountains.
As for great national Anthems; Ours is tough to sing individually, but sounds great when a patriotic crowd of unashamed Americans join in blending all of our voices as one.
I suppose Kinsey and his ilk would prefer a grand song like “Sugar Magnolia” or the “Internationale”.
I’ve said many times that being American is hard work. We espouse a way of life that doesn’t exist anywhere else in the world. We have freedoms – bought by the blood of our warriors – which most other countries would never dream of extending. Being American is not just about where we live – it’s about our attitude, our way of life, the way we treat each other, how we govern, who we are. It’s about thought and principles as much as geography. When we say we are American – people know we mean more than just our physical residence.
If being American is hard work, then singing our nation’s anthem shouldn’t be any easier.
I confess to not even remember reading any verse of the National Anthem other than the first. But even confessing my ignorance (does that say something about the quality or completeness of my public school education? – I’m not sure) I kinda like the thing.
Knowing even a bit about the story behind the words one can’t help but be somewhat inspired by the message of steadfastness and survival in times of peril that, no matter how bleak, “our flag was still there…”.
Yeah its not all that easy to sing as those that can manage the high notes struggle with the low one, etc, but in the harmony that a large crowd brings to a rendition eyes moisten and the kind of national introspection into just what it means and just what benefits accrue to those lucky enough to be Americans occurs in all but the most callous souls. Whether you were simply born here and thereby owe a debt of gratitude to your forebearers for the sacrifices made, not only to create this still unique beacon of hope and freedom, or have; through no small effort managed to immigrate here seeking; in almost 100% of the cases, a better life; it is good to be reminded that those who came before have paid a great price to insure that debates, great and small, may be had without real fear of you paying a price simply for having them.
It is a good thing to acknowledge our nation’s faults for by so doing we can muster the collective will to improve upon our noble land creating more opportunity for those who seek to build upon its great legacy of liberty, generosity, and the living expression of God-given rights. It is another thing entirely to make that the focus and to constantly compare our sins and to, by so acknowledging, seek to assign blame and to discount our accomplishments for good in some misguided effort to excuse those who would, if able, destroy all we have, and all we have done, in a flash.
I have no idea how Kinsley intended his piece to be interpreted and I don’t care. I’ll keep our anthem, thank you, and will strain my vocal cords at each opportunity to join a chorus celebrating the “last best hope of man on earth”.
TO: Michael Kinsley. We didn’t ask; Why did you feel the need to tell, girl?
Well, there it is, another admission from the Left regarding their true feelings about this country and its place among ‘the rest.’ The ‘rest’ being those brave countries who are allowing their cultures to be overtaken and perhaps wiped out by imported Islamic workers (yes – I acknowledge that we have our own strain of leftists here trying to accomplish this same thing, but with a difference), and who have in recent times stood by to watch their Bosnian neighbors without lifting a finger until forced by US, or who funded Saddam and played the “food for oil” game for their profit while crying over the “starving children” – or who armed him while espousing indignation at the USA’s attempts to quell such scoundrels.
It’s fun to think about getting the chance to smack a guy like Kinsley for his waste of an intellect. Harder to do in the real event, however. A little over a year ago I had the opportunity to bring a little ‘education’ to my airline seatmate: George Soros. No kidding – I checked his passport to be certain. But what can you really do or say to make a difference in such scum’s thinking (while staying out of jail, of course)? I’ve given a lot of thought since. I sometimes thing that I might even have been out of jail by now in some scenarios. [And this is a true story - commercial airline flight: Alaska Airlines to San Jose Del Cabo...GS came walking into the passenger waiting lounge by himself, dragging his own bag, no assistant or guard. Nobody gave the slightest recognition - except me. And he turned up to sit next to me in first class, left his passport on the between-seat console to use the lavatory, and I double-checked my first impression. Weird deal. Probably going to meet his handlers.]
Kris-
I would suggest for most it is reasonably easy, mother and Doctor doing the coaxing from womb to big wide world.
Best.
Sim
By contrast, “home of the brave” is empty bravado.
As an engineer, I understand that there is a difference between bravado and bravery. This sentence strikes me as self-contradictory.
Personally, I think Kinsey was just feeling mischievous with a little satire, and many here took his bait as probably intended.
He mixed a little truth (most vocalists agree on its difficulty, and the other verses do lack the power and verve of the first), and then he toys with the reader, pulling his chain.
I love the Star Spangled Banner, am proud to sing it when I can, and do sometimes get misty-eyed at its inspiring performance. But while I take the National Anthem seriously, I still got a chuckle out of Michael Kinsey’s piece.
Curiously, I Googled the national anthems of a number countries. It is quite interesting to learn what other countries’ lyrics are. Nevertheless, I love ours and we should keep it as is, don’t you think?
flite…for the very first time..i concur, lol..
Ours is pretty rubbish.
Lex, believe that it is Kinsley.
Never cared for Mr. Kinsley: unctuous, too clever by half, and too far left.
A tip for singing the National Anthem – Start at the bottom of your singing range. Forget staying in key, the usual arrangement is too high-pitched. Go to the bottom of your range, start from there.
Do this a capella (no music), put in a little practice, and the results are impressive.
Dr. Ed. Siegel who lives near lex’s neighborhood, has been trying for years to get the Star Spangled Banner sung in the key of G-Major.
He has received a lot of national MSM press (as can be seen on the link below), but has made little headway…. Which is fine with me. I like our National Anthem just as it is.
http://www.singournationalanthem.com/
Hmm, sounds like Mr. Kinsey should move to France with the rest of the cheese-eating surrender monkeys. Oh wait, he’d probably hate their national anthem, too.
Compared to La Marseillaise ours is positively tame. I mean, take a look at these lyrics:
Allons, enfants de la Patrie, (Let’s go, children of the Fatherland)
Le jour de gloire est arrivé! (The day of glory has arrived!)
Contre nous de la tyrannie, (Against us tyranny’s)
L’étendard sanglant est levé! (bloodied banner is raised)
Entendez-vous dans les campagnes (Do you hear in the countryside)
Mugir ces féroces soldats? (The roar of those ferocious soldiers?)
Ils viennent jusque dans vos bras (They come right into your arms)
Égorger vos fils, vos compagnes! (To slit the throats of your sons and wives!)
Aux armes, citoyens! (To arms, citizens!)
Formez vos bataillons! (Form your battalions!)
Marchons, marchons! (Let’s march, let’s march!)
Qu’un sang impur (May a tainted blood)
Abreuve nos sillons! (Water our furrows!)
Cutting throats? Watering your fields with blood? How militant can you get?
How positively gauche!