In an exceptionally magnanimous gesture, North Korea today fired a series of rockets into the sea in celebration of 233 years of freedom and democracy. This extraordinary display of fireworks in recognition of America’s Independence Day would have ordinarily been unthinkable for an envious regime that maintains its tenuous claim to legitimacy only through vicious suppression of a brutalized populace, but such was the regime’s unmasked appreciation of a superior system that they did so willingly, even eagerly!
This was an extraordinarily expensive gesture for the Kim Chong Il government: The North Korean juche system of “self-reliance” has failed to provide even basic necessities for the Gulag Kingdom. Even foodstuffs are diverted from the mouths of his countrymen in order to provide the material wherewithal to support the military. Since the capability had already been demonstrated, these launches could have served no other purpose than as an approbation to American liberty. It’s a shame that in such a materially and socially impoverished country, the loss of capability will have to be made good through even more sacrifice. Thus – from the little man’s perspective – what might have seemed an impotent squandering of the sweat wrung from the brows of his enslaved countrymen is in reality a tribute.
So right back at you, Huge-Headed Impotent Dictator Guy: You’re a Real American hero!
Lex you devil … Love your Fourth of July ‘thank you note’ to Lil Kim for the fireworks. You are the best and brightest, you know. Happy Fourth to you, the Hobbit, the girls and Son Number One.
Marianne
In Team America Kim Jon Il is shown as an alien cockroach using a human disguise. My point is: How did they got it SO RIGHT?
Really, looking at him, Chavez, Morales in Bolivia, Ahmadinejah (wich greatest accomplishment was making me learn how to write his name) I deeply miss the good old bad guys.
Arafat, Saddam from the Iran-Iraq war, Kadhaffi, Krushov, Mao…
Oh, the good times. Now world’s greatest enemy lives in a cave making videos like a youtube teen, and the second in the news attacks the ocean with missiles and wear granny glasses.
Being the Fourth of July, I’d have thought it very appropriate to counter with a 7th Fleet ABM exercise in the Sea of Japan…you know…a skin to skin, fireworks display at FL500 over the Korean beaches. NOTAM’s all around for the sticklers to detail.
Happy 4th to one and all! In addition to the BBQ and fireworks, may I recommend a reading of the Declaration of Independence to those gathered to celebrate.
Yeah, Mongo, by all means let’s not forget the NOTAMs–wouldn’t want to violate any international conventions, or anything, right? You know what sticklers for international law the NorKs are…
No disrespect to the occasion; I read this and thought “Is this one of those Bud Light ‘Here’s to the . . . ‘ commercials?”
It is to dream, but… I’m thinking we should randomly select three Minutemen from the silos in NoDak and Montana and give Kim a return volley. Just, ya know, for testing purposes and the exercise it would give our missileers. Not to mention the instant gratification it would provide to certain elements of polite American society.
Oh the horror — think of the krill! The millions (billions even!)of poor krill (and plankton!!) that gave their lives as a result of dear leader’s magnanimous gesture…!!!!
- SJS
As I read all about this, I was thinking more in the sense of going “Postal”. It would sound like this, “The United States Postal Service stamps all seven rockets as ‘Return to Sender, We’ll Deliver, Postage Due’.” Kim Chong II,bend over, you will receive this shipment *very personally*. By the way, Lex, he will not be a small man in all ways. You might file this under learning, Discretion is the better part of Valor.
You are usewess to me Awec Bawdwin¡