In an exceptionally magnanimous gesture, North Korea today fired a series of rockets into the sea in celebration of 233 years of freedom and democracy. This extraordinary display of fireworks in recognition of America’s Independence Day would have ordinarily been unthinkable for an envious regime that maintains its tenuous claim to legitimacy only through vicious suppression of a brutalized populace, but such was the regime’s unmasked appreciation of a superior system that they did so willingly, even eagerly!
This was an extraordinarily expensive gesture for the Kim Chong Il government: The North Korean juche system of “self-reliance” has failed to provide even basic necessities for the Gulag Kingdom. Even foodstuffs are diverted from the mouths of his countrymen in order to provide the material wherewithal to support the military. Since the capability had already been demonstrated, these launches could have served no other purpose than as an approbation to American liberty. It’s a shame that in such a materially and socially impoverished country, the loss of capability will have to be made good through even more sacrifice. Thus – from the little man’s perspective – what might have seemed an impotent squandering of the sweat wrung from the brows of his enslaved countrymen is in reality a tribute.
So right back at you, Huge-Headed Impotent Dictator Guy: You’re a Real American hero!