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Recruiting Pitch

NASA needs to work on theirs:

Commanders do not allow sexual intercourse on the International Space Station, it has been disclosed.

“We are a group of professionals,” said Alan Poindexter, a NASA commander, during a visit to Tokyo, when asked about the consequences if astronauts boldly went where no others have been.

“We treat each other with respect and we have a great working relationship. Personal relationships are not … an issue,” said a serious-faced Mr Poindexter. “We don’t have them and we won’t.”

Mr Poindexter could learn a little something from the Navy.

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19 comments to Recruiting Pitch

  • bc

    Just HAD to be a poindexter, didn’t it…

  • RetRsvMike

    like a poindexter is gonna have to worry about it ever happening to himself…

  • SJBill

    Lisa Nowak must have been one of those consummate professionals, I’ll bet.

  • xairboss

    So glad that I avoided the male/female navy, at least at sea. Not that I have any thing against females, I married one and am totally happy with the decision. It’s just that when I was CO of a major shore station, I experienced first hand, the “he said, she said” accusations that came up almost every day. From my experience, it boiled down to a 50/50 proposition where the male was guilty as hell and in other cases, the female was fudging. The bottom line was that it took up lots of my time that could have been spent on more productive persuits. I don’t mean to imply that any of this was the fault of female sailors. It’s just the nature of things that when you mix the sexes, you will have problems. Same goes when you mix gays and straights.

  • sid

    “Lisa Nowak must have been one of those consummate professionals, I’ll bet.”

    Some of Mrs. Nowak’s neighbors (no joke. they all lived within a 5 mile radius)

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrea_Yates

    http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2003/02/15/1044927854202.html

    Now…as all the astronauts pretty much live in the same neighborhood, see why this no sex thing isn’t such a problem…?

  • SK1

    Look, the main issues would be “re-entry” of the “Orbital Vessel” into its “Docking Station” and the possibillity of a issue with ” Pre-launch Detonation” of the ” Mission Pay-Load”….Ahem.

    Then you get into the whole issue of Newtonian laws of physics with ” Objects in motion staying in motion” and the likelihood of the young ladies’ ” upper nacelles ” causing grievous injury to herself…or others..

    Besides, who wants to really wants to be responsible for the “clean up in aisle 5″ that could occur in a weightless environment should things get out of hand??

    Likely we might have an OSHA & EPA issue if the “personal DNA material” of an Astronaut was somehow “put into orbit” if you know what I mean…I better quit on this post while I am ahead…

  • Castellum Proeliator

    Poindexter is in fact a former Tomcat guy. What goes on cruise (spaceflight) stays on cruise (spaceflight). That’s the story, no Sh$t, I wans’t there, you can’t prove I was there, nobody saw me….

  • Castellum Proeliator

    …or at least that’s how I’d play it. Worked fine in ’91, didn’t it?

  • JKB

    Sure, sure, it’s all don’t ask, don’t tell until some fool tries to do a money shot. Then, even though your in space, there isn’t enough.

  • Marianne Matthews

    So that’s it, Mr. Poindexter — “No sex, we’re astronauts.” Somehow that *doesn’t* have a ring to it.

    Marianne

  • Humble1310

    Damn, and I read this story on the day I hear the Checkmates launch Mutha into space, no less.

    Climb so high, fall so far, and all.

  • Bruce Jones

    Funniest Whose Line *Ever*.

    Potentially NSFW, mainly because I can’t believe Ryan Stiles’ question got past the censors.

  • Sarge

    The ad-line for the original Alien film :”In space, no one can hear you scream” suddenly has a whole new meaning, don’t it? (ROFL)

    Sounds like somebody forgot to explain to Poindexter the actual meaning of “Conquest and Colonization of Space.”

    Consummate professionals don’t consummate professionally?

  • Steve Hendry

    Joke my wife heard on DC area radio yesterday, “and the DJ basically said that NASA had banned sex on the ISS now that NASA scientists had figured out what sex was.”

  • OldT6Flyer

    Well that policy will eliminate the metaphysical debate about what being “on top” means in a weightless environment.

  • NaCly Dog

    Well, we do need a NASAsutra. It’s all about the research.

    And Sarge; “Consummate professionals don’t consummate professionally?” Practice makes pregnant.

  • According to the late G. Harry Stine, there is a “3 Dolphin Club” analogous to the “Mile High Club.” Highly unofficial, natch. :)

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