Saying good-bye.
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Targets of Opportunityblog advertising is good for you Credo"Sign on, young man, and sail with me. The stature of our homeland is no more than the measure of ourselves. Our job is to keep her free. Our will is to keep the torch of freedom burning for all. To this solemn purpose we call on the young, the brave, the strong, and the free. Heed my call, Come to the sea. Come Sail with me." -- John Paul Jones "Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature" --George Bernard Shaw, "Caesar and Cleopatra" "And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music."--Friedrich Nietzsche "A kind Providence has placed in our breasts a hatred of the unjust and cruel, in order that we may preserve ourselves from cruelty and injustice. They who bear cruelty, are accomplices in it. The pretended gentleness which excludes that charitable rancour, produces an indifference which is half an approbation. They never will love where they ought to love, who do not hate where they ought to hate."--Edmund Burke “You say that it is your custom to burn widows. Very well. We also have a custom: when men burn a woman alive, we tie a rope around their necks and we hang them. Build your funeral pyre; beside it, my carpenters will build a gallows. You may follow your custom. And then we will follow ours.”--General Sir Charles Napier "Μολὼν λαβέ" -- Leonidas "Blogito Ergo Sum" -- Neptunus Lex Amazon AssociateFor the Effort!Winnar! Subscribe CategoriesPagesTagsacademy
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One of the reasons I am glad I completed my Naval Service before having a family. I didn’t comprehend back then what a sacrifice it is. Now I do understand and those who combine raising a family with military service have my utmost respect.
Boy isn’t that the truth. I was single the entire time I was on active duty. After being married and the birth of my son I realized what it would be like were I away for extended periods. And it works the other way as well. I selfishly never realized what my Mother must have been going through during my combat tour–were I to do it over again I would have written FAR more often…maybe..there’s also the impulse to shield them from a lot–I can’t imagine how that works in today’s world of instant global comm. Imo in some ways the old snail-mail-only way was better for the guy deployed–kept one focused on one’s alternate universe and task at hand with no distractions..
My son and I exchanged email quite often while he was in Iraq in 2004-2005. It made things easier. He also called home several times, which was quite nice as well.
Still, I worried some simply because he was where bad things were happening and even the REMFs seemed to be getting killed.
When he was going into Iraq with his unit from Kuwait, the OIC of teh convoy got a might confused, as Daniel Boone expressed it, and some MPs had to come find them. The MP CO had a sense of humor as all the MPs they sent were women. It took several months to live it down.
QM,
With Skype and Google Talk connectivity with SNT, the Medevac pilot, in Iraq right, now is daily. He and I are close. I was texting with him on Sunday at Costco to get his shopping list for pogey bait, beef jerky, etc. to go out in the next care package. When I was a captain it was still all snail mail. He was all of 3 at that time at FT Bragg. I never would have conceived of communicating with him (or his brothers) in combat instanteously from my car/office/home. It is almost surreal.
When he was home on midtour leave he shared stuff with me that he didn’t want his wife and his mother to hear. And yeah, I worry daily. And we pray daily.
Gotta have that pogie bait. I’ve never caught one, but I hear pogies are good eatin’.
Same here. I was single my entire almost 10 years in, and had no idea how hard it must have been on my married shipmates that had kids.
I was feeling kinda low before I left for a conference in Las Vegas last week, about being away from my wife and kids for a week – then I thought about those that deploy and leave their families back home for 6 months or even a year or more. It put it all in perspective, and yes, I missed them all, called them every day, but a week would be over before I knew it. And it was.
For some reason I’m getting that tight feeling in my throat and a touch of the water eye thing. Darn pollen…
Things I DO miss:
That final day of flying in and coming home to a beautiful wife and family after 8 months. Used to toss a roll of quarters (2 or 3 short though) in the back yard and tell the two girls “go find them” so there would be time for – you know.
One of the hardest things I’ve ever done was that walk to the hangar the day after my son’s first birthday to start a six month deployment, the first of my married life. God bless the marriages and families of those who still do it today.
I’m not going to miss that at all when I hang up my spurs in a couple of years. It’s not just the one year deployments. It’s the two weeks of Leader Training out of town, followed by the three weeks in the field training for the MRX, followed by the month at NTC for the MRX, followed by the week in DC for the briefings by the three letter agencies, followed by the three weeks of gunnery prior to deployment, followed by the two week PDSS (Pre-deployment Site Survey) etc, that keep us away from home when we’re allegedly enjoying our dwell time.
Emphasis on “allegedly.”
My younger brother is in Af as an MP now, He extended his contract 6 months to go with his unit. He apparently has pretty good internet service where he’s based, so he’s on Facebook a lot, posting to our sister about what to get his Mom for her birthday (we share a Dad, but different Moms). If I’m up late enough I can even catch him for a chat.
I worry for the day that his last post was days or weeks ago, rather then the hours between we’ve had so far. I worry for his Mom the most as I think she’ll take it the hardest if they just have an internet outage.
I’m still not sure if it’s better to have the connectivity this time, rather then the infrequent emails we had when he was in Iraq 2 years ago.
When my kids were young, leaving on business trips was hard…not so much on them, but on me. I hated to leave. They must have figured it was just a couple days to a week, more or less, so it did not seem too tough. I imagine that leaving for well over 6 months in a job that could kill you would make it terribly difficult on all concerned. Thanks, guys and gals, for doing it for me and others like me…not one of the best times of life for you, no doubt – but maybe that’s why the homecomings always look so good, too. Balance.
I have not seen a comment about the Chief and kid on the dock while the ship is leaving.
Modern Navy.
No comment needed, IMHO. Picture says it all…
Yepper!
Jon, they’re not anywhere near to being ready to go. Lines are still doubled up, spring lines are still in place, rails aren’t manned, etc. Before you ask, he’s probably in khaki’s because he’s a snipe, and won’t be on deck when they go.
The only consolation is that in today’s Navy they’re unlikely to be gone for 10 or 12 months at a crack like in my day. Got two homeward bound pennant sections framed over my fireplace, both from the USS “Coraku Maru” (Coral Sea).
There are two Chief’s in Whites on the ship.
All that I was saying is that in todays Navy is that now the mother goes.
Also the Chief is wearing brown shoes.
You know, you’re right, now that I think about it. WAAAY to much emotion being thrown around this thread for a bunch of sailors:
“You listen to me, young lady! You see that tin can there? Is that the kind of life you want? To be a SHOE? Now I better not ever hear you talking about the importance of littoral warfare again, or so help me I will take you out of the Aviation Explorers and put you in Sailing Camp for the entire summer, and show you what bouyant instability is REALLY all about!”
Anymouse, that’s a CG-47 class.
ToMAYto, ToMAHto . . . it ain’t a Boat!
IT’s still a can too. They ain’t armored anymore.
Uh…brown shoes? Is he aviation det or in the Chops shop?
When I was in both Officers and Chiefs wore brown shoes with Khaki. They didn’t have to be “Brown Shoe” to wear them.
Remember coming home from deployment and having the bride regale me with stories of DNO going up to any male with a mustache during my absence and calling them daddy. When I left, she was still crawling, when I returned, she was running all over the place. What is the price of a child’s first word, or step or Christmas?
More than my ex was willing to pay.
On balance, I think the homefront has the harder job of the two.
+1
Some of us have to replicate the experience again after retirement, not by choice but rather by economic necessity.
As a HR professional, at home in Beantown, I’m a dime-a-dozen. You can swing a dead cat and hit a HR guy in the head all over the place. Here, in AFGHN, I have experience that the Bossman is willing to pay pretty big $$$$ for.
Luckily, 3 out of 4 kids are grown & gone. Only the NAVWIFE and NAVDAUGHTER left at home so the time away hurts but not like missing 1st steps. I am blessed that NAVWIFE is good at handling the homefront and I can tolerate being here as it is what the economy has driven me to do.
63 days until R&R…..Time is the most precious resource we have….hands down.
Heh -short timer status SK1!
From the beginning of memories, I remember every single deployment, as he left and when he came home. My Dad used to make us an Advent Calendar for his return, starting 30 days from return. I’m trying to remember… was I two or four? He painstakingly clipped out tiny little aircraft carriers or airplanes and hand drew a 30 day calendar with black felt tip marker. Under every construction paper plane or carrier were the days remaining. I remember… pulling every one of them off. He made two of them.
I remember standing in hangars holding up huge hand painted signs my brother and I made, handpainted with dragons as that was his squadron. Big signs that said, “Welcome home…” and his squadron number.
I remember standing on docks as the ship came in, looking for MY Dad on the bridge. I saw him once… but only because he was the Gator and made it a point that we’d know where to look.
I remember crying when he left, throwing myself at his feet as he made his way out the door once, begging him not to leave me again. I was 9. I look back on that aghast now, guilt, at what it must’ve done to him to have to pull me off his leg and hand me to my mother. A man who clips out little construction paper airplanes and pastes them to a handmade calendar is not a man with a stone heart.
I cry when I see pictures like you have above as I remember EXACTLY what it felt like. And I cry when I see families welcoming home their Dads and husbands as I remember that feeling too.
I probably made the adult decisions I made based on my experiences as a child. I married a civilian and have lived in the same home for 15 years. I realized early on I had not what it took to do what my Mother did. It takes one helluva woman to be a military wife.
Great perspective, thanks for sharing Bou.
w/r
This is just the perspective of deployments. I could write a book in turn on all the wonderful things a military childhood provided. As completely awful as departures were for deployment, what a military upbringing brought to the table was amazing… surpassing the bad. My family is extraordinarily tightknit. My folks are my best friends and mentors in life and you cannot break the bond of me and my siblings. We saw the world, laughed at extraordinarily absurd situations and found ourselves in the oddest predicaments. I remember seeing Santa for the first time on the flight deck of an aircraft carrier. And I swear I remember our driving down to the docks at Christmas on NAS Mayport as the carriers had Christmas lights. This would be the 70s. I don’t think they do that anymore.
Deployment SUCKED. But military life did not. With everything there is the good and the bad. I’d not change my childhood nor would my siblings. And my Mom wouldn’t have done it another way. None of us have any regrets.
Yes, Mayport still does the lights, though not nearly as gaudy as they once were. Back in the day when Mayport still had Navy tugs they were always the winners as the tugs would put on so many lights you could barely see a tug
…but boy, could you tell where the tug WAS!
Write the book, Bou. Write the book. Please.
The civilians need to know. They need to understand.
I got cassette tapes from Dad in the early seventies. That worked.
I paid a few bucks a minute for shipboard AT&T once a month or so from the Adriatic. That worked.
Kids these days have it easy, but they will say: It worked. Or not. It all depends, I guess.
All – thanks for sharing your stories (from a civilian).
Deploying with kids is a hell of a lot harder than without. Skype don’t cut it when one is going in the hospital, another is acting out due to stress, and Mom is exhausted. It certainly reframes one’s priorities…
Chap – Been there, done that. Got the T-shirt and the battle scars. I hear ya Brother.
We still miss it a lot. She is only 7. Goodbye has a great weight to it
Something I got from the GOATLOCKER website….
Jungles of the Sea
Dolphins guard thy infant slumber,
Davy Jones thy sandman be,
For thy father’s gone hunting,
In the jungles of the sea.
Moonless nights and sunless days
Doth he stalk the watery ways
Where the pale anemone
Decks the gardens of the sea,
Where the coral’s lacy fan
Waves in courts unmarred by man;
Where the shark and dolphin play
There thy father hunts his prey.
Where the great whales rise and blow,
There thy father tracks his foe,
With periscope for magic eye
To watch the ships go swiftly by,
With darker magic tuned to hear
The pulse of foeman drawing near.
He’ll come home to thee at last,
Broom triumphant at the mast.
Dolphins guard thy infant slumber,
Davy Jones thy sandman be,
Child of war thy father’s hunting
In the jungles of the sea.
The wife of a fellow church member, now in Iraq, was saying a couple of weeks ago how she and the two little boys have missed Daddy, but life is bearable because of daily web chats. Being away for a year at a time has kept him from seeing his baby SNT take his first steps, or SNO growing his way through pre-school.
One of the old squadrons, now HSC-85, is being redesignated HSC-5 (in deference to its roots; HAL & HCS) and returned to the SpecWar mission of old. Some of us talk about being back in the field, Dets to {fill in the blank}, and such, but then the separation from family and friends reality check steps in. Back when we were young and dumb and full of adventure that was okay. Today, teary faces and saddened hearts I can do without.
Spikkin a which, yesterday was the 37th anniversary of hizzoner’s initiation into becoming one a of rich uncle’s Misguided Children. What a day…and night…and the next…that all followed without interruption. Ah yes, “Left foot. Right foot. Mob stop!”
While I appreciate the poignancy of the photo, and those who feel the loss of family separation, my take is somewhat different: I expect daddy is telling his princess “See, sweetie, daddy has brown shoes, and that’s why the big grey boat is leaving without him. Daddy gets two more weeks with you until he has to leave, so it’ll be OK.”
PS: “Daddy also gets to come home early, too, when the squadron flies off”
CW, that’s a Tico class CG. No squadron arrivals. An helo det may be onboard, or have the helo arrive in a few hours, not days.
It could also be that the Mom is leaving on deployment, leaving her brown-shoe husband and daughter behind. Pretty common these days. Normally the pier is reserved for line-handlers and such not when the ship sails.
Goodbye is bittersweet. It got tougher when we changed to the east coast from Hawaii and bought a house. The six year old found out everybody else’s Daddy didn’t go to sea, and told her little sister.
Sounds funny now. It wasn’t then.
I’m retired now and we have the kids and grandkids close by. I know the daughters love me. I think they decided Daddy was daft, but he’s too old to do it anymore, so let’s make the best of it from now on.
I don’t miss going away. In the least.
My blessings and thanks on those who do it now for all of us.
Hope this is not Lex’s way of saying goodbye to his blogging efforts. Stress & strain are encountered outside active duty, too.
?????
Greetings:
Boy, is that a good looking military uniform that guy has on? Millions and millions of polys gave their lives for that?
Nope, you just shear a khaki nauga. A young one, the old ones are only good for their hide.
Heh.. I’ve been sayin’ for years that my retirement plans were to raise Naugas. Since I retired I can’t seem to find any breedin’ stock… sigh.
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