Who said that Hollywood was out of new ideas?
Babes and battleships?
It’s full of awesome.
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Snort!
I seem to recall a babe and a battleship in a Jean Claude van Damme movie a while back…
Wasn’t that Steven Segal?
Yes indeedee
Is there a difference between Segal and Van Dam?
Van Dam has more dramatic range as an actor, Seagal is a better choreographer of Faux Fighting, or if you prefer a more skilled and artistic foo fighter.
Not to mention, a real black belt in Aikido. Which would mean he’d purely kick Van Dammes ass…
Subzilla? And where was the guy screaming, “It’s eating everything in its path!!” ?
Potential to be really REALLY bad …
And as usual most bad movies about all things military NEVER manage to hit the “so bad it’s good” cult-like sweet-spot. They’re either plain vanilla good, bad, indifferent or just plain lousy…I can’t think of a single one. Anybody here?
Hunt for Red October and Crimson Tide were enjoyable bubblehead flicks. Bridges at Toko-Ri and Midway are classics.
This one looks dreadful but I thought the “Transformer” franchise would also be a bust. It doesn’t have to be good to be a commercial success (TOPGUN anyone?)
Did you really have to remind us of TOPGUN? Really?
Isn’t Topgun a gritty, true to life look at the life of Naval aviators?
((blink))
It is a real shame that “Hunt for Red October” didn’t have much in common with a really good book of the same name.
Hmmm – Liam Neeson, sea-pr0n, aliens. I see no problem with this.
Ah, Kris, a woman after my own heart. Except that I was thinking YUMMMM – Alex Skarsgard!
I’m ever so glad to see everyone has their “artistic” priorities straight
Kind of reminds me of my wife agreeing to go see “Gladiator” and her rapt attention during the whole movie. I was thinking, “this is NOT a chick flick!” We get out the movie and I’m grinning because this was one bad ass guy movie and my wife is crying! I look at her and say, what’s up? She tells me, “They killed Russel Crowe!”
Like the man said, here’s your sign…
Surely Liam Neeson is not so desperate?! I mean… it’s worth the cash to see him, but *sheesh*, how did they get him in this trash?!
Um, because it’s the only way to keep from making a sequel to The A-Team?
All I have to say is ” Sports Illustrated supermodel Brooklyn Decker “
And I will say it again if you couldn’t figure it out from there……
Ok, I kinda got used to the idea of movies based on video games. Sick, but WTF, right?
But THIS is based on one of the stupidest, most boring games ever to see the light of day.
NOW I’m insulted. Not that Hollyweird gives a damn.
On the other paw, Brooklyn Decker….
Isn’t this a take off on one of the bad early-60s Japanese sci-fi films?
Straight to DVD.
There can’t possible be enough Brooklyn Decker in this to induce me to watch more than the preview.
Someday they’ll get back on track and make one about one of OUR ships headed to somebody elses’ galactic backyard… Without the red shirts with the bullseyes on ‘em…
Just sayin’…
Hmmm… Live Free or Die, Citadel, and The Hot Gate would probably make a good start.
Looked like a Transformer of some type. Same recipe. Megan Fox = Hot Babe = Brooklyn Decker
This preview triggered a Full Blutarski for me. I didn’t know whether to smash something against a wall, drink a bottle of whiskey, or just stand there yelling “Holy $#!^”.
Is it just me, or did they pick a really bad frame for the trailer front? I get that he’s supposed to be puzzled, but to me it just looks like this took place on a Wednesday.
“Transformers Meets Pearl Harbor”…
This looks like someone said “Wouldn’t it be great to make a Transformers movie with the Navy?”
Well, it’s full of something.
Where’s the “like” button? Hell, where’s the “ROFLMAO” button?
The Really Bad part is that there’s so much good material out there to work with. Leyte Gulf. Midway. The cruise of CSS Alabama. The escape of CSS Shenandoah…or one of the U-boats that made it to South America at the end of World War II. Von Spee’s odessey across the Pacific. Tralfalgar. Jutland.
You don’t have to contrive garbage.
But MikeM, first someone has to have first read history in order to even know what transpired, and have enough brain-cells unaffected by drugs to remember/be able to research/refer to event’s from one’s memory and further, have been educated by a system that doesn’t teach disgust for all things American and military–a tall order for the last few generations born after, say, 1955 (YMMV on the cutoff yr)
Amen.
Hit TCM or DVDs to watch TORA TORA TORA. The Longest Day, Patton or Midway. LOVE PATTON as George C Scott was brilliant and easily earned the OSCAR as he was spot-on.
You gotta remember the main movie ticket buying person sees history as H-I-S-T-O-R-Y and tix won’t sell for that – Top movies this year are superhero driven and transformers…..so….now we get US Navy + Babes + Alien Weirdness….not what you want but what they are selling.
So bring on the Mega Bang-Bang, Big Boats and Babes…Here in AFGHN, I’ll be able to p/u a bootleg copy 3 days after it hit the theatres…..Already gots my copies of Capt. America and HP #2….Snort !
Finally watched Tora! Tora! Tora! a few weeks ago. I was very, very impressed.
…And I would gladly plunk down $$$ for a opening-night ticket to a well-done movie about Leyte Gulf. My only worry would be the Hollywood bean-counters would find the story “too unbelievable.”
The trailer looked interesting until “transformer” bit. Blech. I found the aliens in Independence Day more impressive.
Speaking of Leyte, how about the Battle off Samar and Taffy 3?
…That’s what I meant…
The Johnston’s mad-dog attitude and single-minded attack on much larger vessels even impressed the samurai infesting the Imperial Navy…
…
We’re gonna need a bigger fart noise…
- Police Chief Martin Brody
Mike M. (UAV guy?), I am with you. There are so many incredible stories of courage, sacrifice, and non-stop action that have the benefit of being true, and yet the geniuses who make movies go to sequels, video games, and comic books. Contrived garbage as you say.
Though I am willing to shell out some bucks to take the boy to see “Cowboys vs Aliens” and I must say we both enjoyed “Battle Los Angeles” (It had brave competent Marines in it, so I do not know how it got made.) Neither had Brooklyn Decker though. Of course I was hoping Nicloe Kidman would help that Polar Bears in Armor movie, and she didn’t. Brooklyn might have.
You all have a good weekend.
LOL Subguy. Someone remarked that, although Battle Los Angeles was reportedly shot largely in the Peoples Republic of Santa Monica, he KNEW that was just a lie, because one of the scenes had retreating Marines running down the street with one of the shop-window’s containing a sign which said “We Support Our Troops.” LOL!!!
What’s truly awesome is that someone pitched this idea and walked away with a Gladstone Bag full of cash for their efforts.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to work on my two page, 21st century homage to Pacman, zombie nazis and Elle MacPherson.
I’m with both you guys on the “make one based on real events” idea, but I may go see this just for the pr0n. Better yet, I’d much rather see some guy get his movie deal signed off of a book he’s been working on, and the lot of us spend a paycheck on Tux’s and limo’s to go see the opener at Grauman’s Chinese. THAT would be a kickass movie!
Not so subtle hint: Publish the frickin’ book!
PS Off on a somewhat tangential moment, you guys really oughta go spend a few moments checking out this pr0n. I still think we need more of these.
You are a wicked man Mongo. Pr0n like that is a wonderful time waster.
I think he meant to put this link here.
http://www.navsource.org/archives/01/64a.htm
That wurkz too.
The consensus I’m getting here is the director should do the following:
POT the dialogue down to Zero. Up the soundtrack (better be a damn good one too). Let eye candy do what it does best, look good on screen and don’t say a damn word. (yes, the same goes for the ladies’ eye candy).
The only dialogue exception I’ll make, is let the battleship speak. I want “Earth shattering, ear splitting KABOOM!)
Yes! Max to the Max Kaboomishness. And Max Splodey on the eeeevil Aliens.
“Where’s the earth-shattering KABOOM? There was supposed to be an earth-shattering KABOOM!!”
Do you suppose the alien ships are powered by Pu-36?
How about a well made movie about the battle off Samar in October of ’44?
Taffey 3 (3DD’s and 3 DE’s) go head to head with Kurita’s Central Force (4BB’s including Yamato, 8 CA’s, and 11 DD’s); not because they want to, but because there is no other choice.
That’s a story worth filming, and it could take advantage of all the CGI and other stuff movies are all about now, and it’s all true.
Another option, showing the early Japanese dominance, would be the battle of Sunda Strait in March 1942, when some serious naval gunfighting took place. The HOUSTON and PERTH fought valiantly, but ended up at the bottom of the Strait. The Dutch on Java were living with ‘heart in throat’ during those days, and following the naval battle were occupied by Japan for the next several years. It’s a story worth telling.
But a la Red Dawn re-deaux, you would need to replace the Japanese Imperial Navy with a non-offensive foe.
So expect the opposing force to be played Imperial Swiss Navy
This *could* have had one helluva plot twist to it. Instead, it has Beasts, Battleships and Breasts. Which, according to the Billy Bob review scale is pretty good. And if somebody will kindly get the smelling salts we may know more once his cereberal cortex is again functional.
Think about this, though: You’re a species who has mastered travel through space. Gravity is one heckuva mistress, there’s no easy escape. You put all your technology into lightweight stuff, energy weapons and alloys and shields to protect it from microscopic bits of space-dust traveling at ten thousand miles per second.
Then you land on a planet where they put their technology into cheap consumer items, reducing a computer to the size of your palm. Should be an easy conquest. Then their weapons of war appear. Lightweight aircraft that disintegrate with a whim. Lightweight missiles that are easily jammed and torn asunder.
Then comes the battleship and the main battle tank. They hurl slugs, not space-dust. Slugs that can’t be jammed and have more iron in them than most asteroids. Their shields are nothing, a thin coat of paint, but they’ve armor inches thick while yours is barely a millimeter. The infantry is thin-skinned but can shoot those damned miniscule dumb slugs nearly a mile to hit your infantry. Your infantry are protected against microwave, laser, EMP and their armor is self-contained. But it wasn’t designed to deflect slugs.
And your supply-lines are light-years long. It’s going to be a long, long war.
It would be like armored horse cavalry, once the most decisive and mobile thing on the battlefield, dropping into Jurassic Park and facing an army of Triceratops.
I didn’t come up with this idea out of whole cloth. Take a look at the World War 2 movies, or the World At War documentaries. After Pearl Harbor the aviators roundly considered the battleship to be a useful anachronism but incapable of deciding battles and certainly incapable of altering events in an air battle. She was a sitting duck, all guns and no air cover.
The 16″ guns they weren’t afraid of. They forgot about the 20 5″ rapid-fire guns, 80 40mm AA guns, and the other 49 20mm guns all trained upon them.
In the films the battleship puts out more fire than the rest of the fleet combined. In practice, the battleship downed over 30% of all enemy aircraft during the war.
She was not only capable, one might call her decisive if one wasn’t near a carrier commander or a pilot.
– Max
Max, regarding battleships and organic AAW: Prince of Wales and Repulse…not to mention, Yamato.
There is also the heavy cruiser HMS Exeter which, along with DDs HMS Achilles & Ajax drove the Graf Spee into the River Platte to be scuttled, only to be sunk by Japanese air and naval gunfire later in the war in the Java Sea(See: “The Fleet That Time Forgot”–story of the US pre-war Pacific Far-East Fleet)
Yeah, Max, until the BEMs drop a pocket nuke on the battleship.
Actually, Harry Turtledove covered most of this (IIRC he did have many Naval scenes) in his World In The Balance alternate history. Even then, the main reason the aliens faced a real fight was because they expected to find us still at a 12-century level of technology.
They could finish the Hornblower Series for A&E.
Was I the only one that noticed the Dillon mini on the bow of the RHIB? Uh, where’s the generator for power? And how do they plan to carry say, 3,000 rounds in that little boat?
You had me at “Battleships.” Brooklyn Decker is pretty hot, but she can’t hold a candle to the beauty of a BB. OK, I’m a shoe, what can I say? My wife gets a kick out of my eye-rolling every time we watch a military flick together, but I’ll probably check it out just for the BB scenes.
Same here g8r.