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This One Made My Head Hurt

Woman marries army officer, files for divorce. Something about the company he kept while on deployment.

A bunch of stuff about Facebook.

Wants the army to establish a position of divorce transition officer. Not sure if that’s at the brigade level, or all the way down to the platoon.

All of this in the online pages of the New York Times “At War” blog (subtitled, “Notes From the Front Lines).

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27 comments to This One Made My Head Hurt

  • Mike Myers

    Oh come on Lex. It’s not as though any of us haven’t seen or heard of a divorce among our friends. It IS a calamity, and one or both of the parting two will “unload” on the other or about the perfidy, difficulty of it all. There WILL be some whacked out ideas discussed.

    What’s new here is Facebook (which fortunately did not exist when my group of college classmates was doing the divorce danse macabre in their early 40′s).

    • virgil xenophon

      Mike Meyers/

      Did you see that blurb on the net about some couple being forced to divulge/exchange their separate facebook passwords by the court as part of the divorce settlement? LOL.

  • Zane

    May that self-satisfied narcissist rot in Hell. I haven’t a splinter of sympathy for her.

    • Snake Eater

      I’ve handled a fair number of divorce cases in my time…many as gut wrenching for the individuals involved as this one appears to be…
      …that said… my only caution to all concerned is to not make any hasty/uninformed judgements as to the situation here of which you really know nothing about and take tomorrow’s Thanksgiving Day to thank the Lord for what you all have.

      …Happy Thanksgiving…. Best

      PS, fair warning..preaching over…madcap snarks resume on Friday.

      • Quartermaster

        Looks like someone stole Snake’s ID here. Whoever it is, give us our Snarky Snake back.

      • Zane

        I see all I need to see of this self-satisfied narcissist pig, and right now I’ve had enough of the world giving them an audience. May she rot in Hell.

        And a Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours, too. Cheers.

    • Cro

      You’re not bitter or anything are you?

  • Bou

    I don’t get the whole FB thing in general, let alone put my dirty laundry out for everyone to be able to see… forever. I’m at a loss why anyone, civilian or military, would announce the end of their marriage in this way. I don’t think it’s appropriate.

    I read through this. She didn’t like the company he kept. Did that mean he was spending all his time in strip clubs or that he was with someone else? Honestly, I don’t think I could stay married to someone who was stepping out on me or that I consistently saw pictures of strippers sitting on his lap. I can handle a lot, but those kind of push the boundaries of what I’m capable of looking past. She didn’t put out what it was. I can’t judge her for that. I’m not in her shoes.

    • G-man

      Google cache has a veeeeeerrrrrrryyyyy long memory. Generally insulated by many regrets.

    • Bou, as I’m sure you know, boys and girls are not the same in the part between the ears. The constraints of Western Civilization used to keep us from getting on each others’ nerves too much. Now that Western Civ is coming down around our ears, it looks to me that the battle of the sexes is going to get right nasty and primitive.

    • Zane

      Mmm, she didn’t like the company he kept while he was deployed.

      So she divorced him and took away his son while he was deployed.

      She’s a control freak and a coward. F*ck her and anyone who would give her the time of day.

    • Liz

      I don’t get FB either. And it opens one up to identity theft.

      Weird business….I’m convinced someday everyone will wonder why they did it. Like watching Jerry Springer.

  • She needs a divorce transition officer? Sounds like she married one.

  • SK1

    Facebook = Stupidity. Period. It is a empty, shallow, narcissistic exercise in ” look at me, look at me…” and all the things you wouldn’t likely share otherwise.

    As a HR professional, I counsel workers about using FB because once you put that crap out there, ANYONE can see it despite whatever controls they say are in place.

    That picture of you & your buddies getting drunk at the club? It will make a big impression on the next boss when you apply for that new job, etc.

    I don’t have a FB account and don’t want one. Ever. Just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you should. Not enough people understand this simple principle.

    • Quartermaster

      Same here buddy! FB for a professional is not just stupid. The words required to describe just how bad it is are not appropriate for this family friendly blog.

      How many Strip bars are there in Kabul and Baghdad?

      Unfortunately, the company you keep while deployed is often beyond your control. Usually, the only company is the gang you deploy with. So, is she saying the Army was a bad influence on her husband?

      • Not so much for me. FB is invaluable at keeping up with “real life” friends who live away from me. It only stays good as long as my friends and I observe a few simple rules:

        1. NO DIRTY LAUNDRY! FB is NOT the place to air your gripes in the court of public opinion. Those who do so get booted from my network.

        2. NO SERIAL GRIPING or HYSTERICS! I have friends with huge medical or other life issues. Even these folks manage to tastefully post updates, and post on other upbeat subjects as well. If you feel the need to post THE ARE COMING! or ARE ALL IDIOTS, you do not need to talk to me.

        3. DO NOT SHARE PERSONAL INFO ABOUT YOURSELF OR ANYONE ELSE! The teen girls who say “I’m bored! Text me! 555-555-1212″ are asking for trouble. No addresses or phone numbers. If you don’t have mine, you probably don’t need it.

        I have used FB to help organize groups, offer and receive support in difficult circumstances, trade recipes and participate in all sorts of benign fun stuff. In that capacity, it works well for me.

        • grizzledcoastie

          Myself, the wife and the kids all have FB accounts. We apply the same common-sense rules to all of our accounts.

          If it wasn’t for FB, I wouldn’t be able to keep track with old Army buddies and former shipmates. It’s helped me get back in contact with some of them.

          I keep FB strictly non-political and safe for work. My policy on it is this: if my devout Catholic mother would object to what I’m going to post on there, it shouldn’t go up there.

  • Ah, the Older Women’s Sexual Trade Union and Protective Association strikes again! Say, I betcha Skippy-San would have something to say about this. Where is he, anyway? Did he die of bile poisoning, or something?

    • Quartermaster

      Skippy is still around. He bought a 1998 BMW 750IL and is undergoing the initial trials of owning a very high mileage vehicle (277,000+ klicks). A retired Sailor should know better than to buy a used car from an Army Major.

      Many of us already know Skippy’s attitude towards certain AC, “And seeing an air wing without Hornets? Well, that is just a bonus!”

      I don’t know why Skippy doesn’t come around anymore.

  • Oh, what is this “Facebook” of which you people speak? Oh God I miss Usenet.

  • Paul L. Quandt

    On to something important: WHERE ARE THE GIRLS?

    Paul

  • Dust

    The one big piece of wisdom I tried (in vain) to give my 3 sons was ” The two most important decisions you will ever make are what you choose to do with your Creator, and who choose to marry. Do not look to, nor expect any other human being to make you happy, but she sure can make you freaking miserable. You best choose wisely or you may end up with someone like the character Glenn Close played in Fatal Attraction. Just from this woman’s piece, I think there should have been red smoke on that DZ.

  • MaxDamage

    Funny, isn’t it, how spouses and family are classified as “dependents” by the military and yet her big beef is that she didn’t have a supporting cast within the military to help her go on to her independent lifestyle?

    Got news for ya, honey — independence means you don’t need anybody’s help. You can look it up if you don’t believe me.

    You aren’t independent. Deal.

    – Max

    • Zane

      Yes, I noted that as well. She wants all the benes, including lifetime payouts from his retirement, but then bites the hand that feeds her. I suspect the aggravated DFAS screamer was dead right: she didn’t qualify for a piece of his retirement by her state’s rules. Thanks for playing.

    • Something else she seems to have missed. The entire military support structure here is for the soldier, not the dependents. It was working as intended.

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